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Items by africanbutterfly

Butterfly fly too....

  • guy rules

    Posted: May 15, 2012, 1:59 pm by Butterfly

    And finally Boy rules,some of which we should all know even if we need to recite them once in a while to rem them.

    1. Sometimes we just don’t want to talk. Don’t take it personally.
    2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we’re planning to dump you and jump them.
    3. Our favorite T-shirts are not “disgraceful.” They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
    4. Helpless is not cute.
    5. Get to the point.
    6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don’t talk to us while we’re doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don’t hear you “honestly), or we’ll screw up what we’re doing because you’ve distracted us.
    Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Julie Gichuru is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
    7. You can’t complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
    8. If you ask us, “Do you think she’s prettier then me?” we just might say, “Yes.” Then what are you going to do?
    9. Don’t expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn’t mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
    10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.
    11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
    12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It’s an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
    13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, “I went to the beauty shop today.”
    14. If you have to have a cat, at least don’t call him “Mister” anything.
    15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
    16. We need to vegetate.
    17. We don’t go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
    18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
    19. We don’t believe you when you say money isn’t important to you.
    20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don’t care if it’s not fair.
    21. It’s not that we don’t want to make you happy, it’s just that sometimes, we don’t know how.
    22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down.
    23. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    24. If you ask a question you don’t really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn’t want to hear.
    25. Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.
    26. Don’t ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
    27. Sundays equals sports. Period.
    28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
    30. You have enough clothes.
    31. You have too many shoes.
    32. Crying is blackmail.
    33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
    34. Ask for what you want. Let’s be clear on this one: Subtle hints don’t work. Strong hints don’t work. Really obvious hints don’t work. Just say it!
    35. No, we don’t know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
    36. We’re not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair – out of 30 – would look good with your dress?
    38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    41. Check your oil.
    42. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
    43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
    44. It doesn’t matter which quiz.
    45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven minutes.
    46. If you won’t dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
    47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
    49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    50. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
    51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
    52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
    53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
    54. Ditto melon.
    55. If we ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing,” we will take it that nothing is wrong and move on with life.

  • Unwritten rules….ul love me for this

    Posted: May 15, 2012, 1:41 pm by Butterfly

    The unwritten rules in the guy book and the chic book or life book who actually came up with them? Who decided white is better than black or morning the best time to work? Maybe that is pushing it a bit too far but honestly, who made the rules we so faithfully follow? I’ll do both guy rules gals need to know and gal rules guys need to know separately.
    When it is said that ignorance is bliss, i believe it is to some extent. You cannot be bothered by what you don’t know and once you know, you cannot really act like you don’t, you will have to do something about it .I love challenging the status quo; the way life is lived; the way you have always known things to be.
    Every set of friends has at some time or another had to address boys or boy. This is where the “Girl Rule” comes into play. The girl rule says that as long as one friend likes a boy, the other friend can’t do anything about it. This doesn’t mean she can’t have feelings for him, it only means she won’t act on those feelings. The thing about the “Girl Rule” is that it works the best with friends. That’s because good friends are willing to do what it takes to maintain the friendship. However girls sometimes rules don’t always work in friendships. Sometimes a friendship will end over a boy. But, having rules will reduce the likelihood that any boy will come between.
    The question I often ask when presented with new information is: So what? Or more precisely, what does this have to do with me? I like information as much as the next guy, but in today’s busy world, how you apply that information and it’s relevance to the direction you are headed is paramount. If it’s just another theory or another piece of data, and you can’t use it, then goodbye to that! In other words, “Whatever!”
    So why then do I want to take a look at the patterns of how we live? Why is it significant to examine the unwritten rules that govern our lives? Ultimately, in order to live a purposeful life, one has to ask the question “Why?”. To examine motivation and purpose is to begin the process of being intentional in how we live. If we simply follow the unwritten rules then we run the risk of ending our life with classic eulogy “Whatever!”. That you will question the unwritten rules that might be holding you back, and then write a story that will inspire someone else to step out and break the unwritten rules. Some rules I say we should follow I guess its just me:
    1. When you get into a matatu and all the seats are full, do not look at me (or anyone else for that matter) expecting me to move so that “ubebwe excess”. Its not like I am paying for half a seat am I and I really don’t need to be squeezed. If you late that’s your problem and none of mine wait for the next seat.
    2. If the matatu or train is full please conductor ‘nishikie heshima’ I will not hang I think I got class than that. When the a seat opens up at the next stop someone lucky will get in but I will not be subjected to hanging.
    3. You don’t talk to people in an elevator, unless I know you or ask for your opinion, please do not start conversation with me about how bad a day u are having. I ain’t offering pizza. Same applies to a matatu. You cannot, will not, must not burp, fart or unleash any unpleasant odors in an elevator or any closed spaces that do not have windows.
    4. You don’t stare at people in public.
    5. You do not tell a girl she is fat, even if she is.
    6. You do not swear in the presence of a lady.
    7. You take your hat off during the national anthem. The least you can do is show respect for your country.
    8. If I say we go lunch please note and be advised to bring your wallet or purse as each gets their bill unless I say “can I take you for lunch” in which I know I am paying for your food or drinks. Note however, if you’re not paying, you don’t get to see the bill…and don’t ask
    9. Don’t talk during a movie, if I wanted to know what happens in the movie I would have offered you coffee or drinks and have you narrate the whole movie to me scene by scene. Don’t be a spoiler you not rotten tomato
    10. Dear ladies Friday night isn’t always date night so don’t expect your man to take you out every Friday and dear men not every Sunday is game day once in a while I want you to hang out with me rather than ur boys over a game, I mean I don’t make u watch soaps with me so save me the torture of football.
    11. She is always late is not a nice statement for a date rem for me being on time really means ½ hour later.
    12. You cannot and must not force anyone to chat with you on Facebook, Skype, Google Talk, Yahoo Messenger or any other chat service. That is bad netiquette. If you are being ignored because the person is busy, just take in stride.
    13. You do not need a full song as a ring tone to notify you about a text message. I know you love lady Gaga or eminem, I do too…but we don’t need to be reminded that we are perfect just the way we are each time you get that your boyfriend safaricom telling you that you need to top up your account or airtel telling you that you need to get this ring back tone.
    14. Please do not sit directly next to someone when there are other free spaces around. For example, when there are only two people on the entire 2nd floor of the Library, please do not sit next to the other person, unless of course you are friends. Personal space in such cases is proportional to the total space available, making you an invader of personal space.
    15. Please shower, especially if you plan on interacting with other people in any way. Forget what those scientists told you about women being attracted to some pheromones in your sweat. That is a lie. I have never said “Ooh, I like him. He has nice sweat.”
    16. When you are on your cellphone, please keep the conversation between the two of you. Nobody wants to hear how you are in serena when clearly you are stuck in traffic on msa road.
    17. Do not under any circumstances leave me 100 missed called and 250 messages thinking that I will call you back immediately since I am late for something, I will come when I come and those calls wont make me call you faster.
    Have I said it all, not sure so here are common gal rules seeing the above are maybe personal life rules.
    1. A man won’t let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.
    2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.
    3. Do not get hung up on your past. Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn’t guard him enough or you didn’t make him happy enough.
    4. Do not look into images. How many times have you met a girl who didn’t have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your “supposedly” perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.
    5. Always have your own set of rules. Set your limits on how far you’d go for a guy. It’s perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it’s worth it.. And it’s worth it if the guy is treating you right.
    6. Do not be scared to lose him. Don’t be scared that he’ll break up with you. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.
    7. Avoid calling your guy. It’s a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it’s the guy who’s calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it’s a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).
    8. There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don’t lose hope. Don’t settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can. Also, do not believe him when he says it’s just the way he really is. He’s not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.
    9. Always be the only one, no matter what. Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can’t get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can’t leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.
    10. He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.
    11. If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.
    12. Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl’s man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.
    13. Do not force yourself into a relationship. Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn’t come yet.. Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.
    14. Do not settle. If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.
    15. A relationship has to have love. Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.
    16. Don’t be afraid to be single. It’s fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.
    17. Be a good girl. Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years) . If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.
    18. Love without limits. Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If you didn’t give your all, you get hurt for nothing.
    19. You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.
    20. Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don’t be a nagger. Don’t hinder his gimmicks. Don’t give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don’t be easy. Don’t be like every other girl he had in his life.

  • the gal

    Posted: April 17, 2012, 3:09 pm by Butterfly

    I have always loved the story – the story that follows the lives of two people who were born into similar economic backgrounds, went to the same type of schools, fell in love in university but one of them becomes well off in the blink of an eye. And she goes all out (the story is more interesting when the lady is wealthier – breaking down the barriers, feminism, down with chauvinism, the empire fights back, gotta love the underdog story). So she ditches the backward guy, gets a swanky new boyfriend who is really with it – let’s bring down this Godforsaken city.

    (Let me digress just a little) I assume, a little vain I know, that anyone who reads this blog is modestly bright – and by that I mean exceptionally brilliant – and so you they would have a whiff of an idea that we’re all fighting our past subconsciously – the 27 year old lady with a walk-in closet filled to the brim with shoes from that American store in Dubai probably did not have many shoes growing up; and though she will not admit it to anyone, much less herself, all she is doing is fighting the ghosts of the past – it’s not an exact science – but indulge me for a minute. The young man driven to become a business mogul out of the blue, putting in the hours, the patience and humility that come with a few years experience – all flow directly from a financial deficiency in the past. Like it or not, life is really tough, and thankfully God does even out everything in the end – he has a penchant for that – giving a little here and taking a little there. I am not the most religious person I know, but I know a few things here and there about the good book.

    I have digressed; now let me get back to the story. I know this girl, pretty by all standards, and bright – like anyone who truly enjoys this blog (groveling) – but she wasn’t well off, well, her parents weren’t.Lower middle class, but her family did struggle to make ends meet – you know the story: kicked out of school a couple of times, dad did drink a little too much sometimes, which made the family budget even slimmer – he argued that he had to forget his troubles. I don’t blame him, but I’m also not making excuses for him either. The girl made it to a pretty neat job, admirable, commendable and all that jazz. She was out of the rut she was destined to fall into all her life and now had a shot at glory – a little redemption – payback for all those years of struggle: she felt she deserved this!

    Problem is, her campus boyfriend was struggling – and I mean properly struggling – dropping cv’s at every conceivable place, beating himself up for still being unemployed a year after his graduation (CPA, CPS and a degree to boot) – and yet he couldn’t buy his girlfriend a mug of anything multi-coloured and expensive sounding at one of those restaurants that seem to spring from the woodwork in this city under the sun. That takes the wind out of a young man’s sails – it crumbles him. It places him in a tiny little box where his fears come alive and his guardian angel is captured by the village folks and burnt at the stake. A man needs to buy his girl any multi-coloured drink she fancies. That’s my policy – it is what I have lived by all these years, and it has served me well.

    She left him, he grieved for a month (who am I kidding – it was more like a week) and he’s been single for a year and a half now – he also works as an accounts assistant at a leather store – a job that he hates, but it puts bread on the table – he’d never been a bread person – so not only did he hate his job, he also hated what his job represented: failure and settling for something less than what you think you deserve. She on the other hand had made it big – and enviably so and had changed not only her residence from the mundane and ubiquitous to the posh and sumptuous. Living the dream, the pace would have been too much to handle for any accounts assistant, leaving him had been a good thing – no man deserves to play second fiddle and pretend that the world is strewn with purple roses as his lady reaches for the bill ALL the damn time. She convinced herself that she’d done the right thing. He got a girlfriend, an m-pesa attendant, not that bright, but she did float his boat; nothing lofty, but God she was a looker.

    That is where things stand as we speak. And my mind, as yours, shoots into the future, thinking where these two souls will be 10 years from now – what lessons they will have learnt, what battles they will have fought and lost, and what regrets they will have. If ever they bumped into each other on the street, what would be the range of emotions that would pull at their heartstings? Will anyone break down? Will anyone have a little kid in tow that makes the other either regret that they broke up or make them think “Thank heavens I bailed out of this burning house before it was razed to the ground!” We all pretend to have everything under control, calm and composed – with it. But just below the surface is a simmering pool of what we wanted to be, what we think we deserve, who our enemies are, what makes us happy and what brings us to life.

    Forget all that. How the hell would you know that the one you’re with right now, whether spouse or main squeeze is the one – plus who cares whether they are the one or not? What difference does it make really? Are you happy? Are you content? Then there you have it.

  • New traffic rules

    Posted: April 17, 2012, 12:38 pm by Butterfly

    Dear all,

    Kindly take note that there have been amendments in TRAFFIC Rules, which
    have been passed by the Parliament and Gazetted meaning they are effective.
    Staff members are to be guided by the Amendment of section 12 of Cap 403
    in relation to registration plates In brief, the amendments are regarding:

    * Number plates- When you sell your vehicle,
    you should surrender the number plates to the registrar of motor vehicles
    and when you fail to renew the insurance, remember to surrender the number
    plates to the registrar otherwise you risk being arrested and fined

    * Overlapping- Driving on pavement or through
    a petrol station to avoid traffic- You risk a fine of Ksh 30,000 or
    3 months imprisonment or BOTH

    * Over speeding – when you over speed- You
    risk a fine of Ksh 10,000 or 3 months imprisonment or Both

    * PSV operators- Should adhere to the uniforms
    and Michuki rules

    * Motor Cycle operators- ONE PASSENGER only
    and the passenger and driver must be in reflective vests and helmets- otherwise
    you risk a fine of ksh 10,000 and in default 12 months imprisonment
    Kindly see the attached amendments with all the details.

    1. Life imprisonment for persons convicted of causing
    death by dangerous driving – giving it the same status as murder

    2. Road blocks are to be gazette prior to being mounted
    by the police

    3. Driving licenses of speed limit violators shall
    be suspended for not less than 3 years if the person has exceeded speed
    limit by more than 10 kph and if offence is repeated 3 or more times.

    4. Mandatory eye test every 3 years for licensed drivers.
    And if you fail the test then license is withdrawn.

    5. All law enforcement officers are now effectively
    mandated to deal with traffic issues with the abolition of the Traffic
    Department under the Kenya Police Service Act.

    BE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE LAW!

  • Richest Kenyans under 40

    Posted: April 10, 2012, 4:42 pm by Butterfly

    Forget those you see flossing at social scenes or in music videos, these are the rich Kenyans living a life on the fabulous lane. Here are some of Kenya’s young self-made rich tycoons.

    They claim to have come a long way. They all hail from humble backgrounds and claim to be involved in legitimate businesses. These relatively unknown but wealthy Kenyans under 40 are going places. Whoever said that life begins at 40 might have not considered about these daredevils who a living large under 40 and own a fortune. We look at entrepreneurs who have made it against all odds.

    Away from entertainment there are young men and women doing well. Lawyers like Don Kipkorir are living large. Well, are these Kenyans the richest under 40?

    Brian Gacara

    Age: 27 years

    Title: Managing Partner at Property Reality and Cape Gardens, a real estate firm.

    Background: At 23 years, was the regional director for Tetra Pak, West Africa. Ventured in timber business, before eventually branching into real estate. Currently building a 120 units estate along Mombasa Road valued at Sh800 million. Also building luxury apartments in Kiambu and Nakuru. Gacara has also spread his wings to Rwanda where he is building a hotel. He is also involved in commodity importation. His other businesses include packaging and selling locally produced rice as well as large-scale farming.

    First business venture: Selling timber.

    Advice to the youth: As a young person you bubble with energy and ideas and it is the best time to get into business.

    Holiday destinations: Any place in Kenya does it for me.

    Residence: A penthouse in Keleleshwa.

    Ride: A Mercedes Kompressor

    Marital status: Single and not searching. I am too busy. It will be unfair to have a girlfriend whom I never get time to spend with. But definitely, I plan to get married and raise a family. However, I must be able to provide for them.

    Most expensive habit: Treating friends and clients. I once spent 1,000 dollars (Sh82,000) a night.

    Net worth: Below Sh600 million.

    Contacts: My contacts are at www.propertyreality.co.ke

    Kevin Muringa

    Age: 40

    Title: Group Chief Executive Officer of several companies with interests in construction, transport, real estate, import and export of cereals, large scale farming in Sudan and Angola. Dealing with Petroleum Products.

    Background: As a high school pupil he started buying cows and selling them to Kenya Meat Commission. He made his first million at 20 years. He bought his first car at 21 and it was a Mercedes S Class. At 23 years he bought his first house in South B.

    First business venture: Selling cows.

    Advice to youth: Nothing comes easy. Dreams can only be true if you wake up and work on them. I am a staunch Catholic and prayers work miracles. I thank God for all I have. And as Steve Jobs said, why should I be the richest man in the cemetery? I give back to the society as well.

    Holiday destinations: Two holidays per year to Bahamas, Dubai, Turkey or Mombasa. This Easter he plans to travel to Israel with his family.

    Residences: Several homes in Kenya but currently moving to a Sh270 million house with expansive gardens in Westlands area.

    Ride: Owns a cargo Boeing 767 and a 10,000 tonnes ocean liner. His collection of cars includes BMW 3 Series, BMW X5, Range Rover Sports, two Ford Off Road, a H2 Hummer and convertible Mustang.

    Marital status: Married.

    Most expensive habit: When young, I used to hire choppers every weekend to fly me out of Nairobi with a few friends. I am now too old for that. I would rather spend the money on charity.

    Net worth: My war chest to campaign for Nairobi Governor is Sh2 billion, so you can guess my net worth.

    Hussein Mohammed

    Age: 34 years

    Title: CEO

    Company: Humora Holdings with interest in real estate, green energy, construction, stocks and securities and hospitality.

    Background: I come from a humble background, grew up in the slums. I know what hard life is.

    First business venture: Designing and selling uniforms while still in high school. There after, I got employed. At 25, I was the national head of sales for Safaricom. I resigned a year later to focus on my business and I have no regrets.

    Advice to the youth: Believe in yourself. Never give up. I have failed so many times than I have succeeded, but the successes have been astounding! It’s never too late or too early to start a business.

    Holiday destinations: Two holidays a year. We love Cape Town, Thailand, or the United States.

    Residence: Own house, a four-bedroom home in Westlands.

    Ride: Prado TX and Mercedes E-Class

    Marital Status: I am married with two lovely kids.

    Most expensive habit: CSR, as a company, we have spent more than Sh50 million on Xtreme Sports, which is the charity venture for my businesses.

    Net worth: Below Sh600 million.

    Stephen Chorio

    Age: 27 years

    Title: Managing Director

    Company: Lace Group, which has interest in luxury beauty products, chain of salons, Real estate, supply of electricity poles in Uganda and South Sudan and Car hire.

    Background: Marketing degree for Methodist University. Worked at Barclays for five years before venturing into business.

    First business venture: Hair salon along Ngong Road.

    Advice to youth: You can have all the money in the world but no peace of mind, so do what you enjoy.

    Holiday destinations: Dubai. I love desert safaris. Locally, Mombasa does it for me.

    Residence: Sh12 million house in Riara.

    Ride: Toyota Prado TX and 2010 Range Rover Sports

    Marital status: Married with one daughter.

    Most expensive habit: Clothes, hosting parties, and membership to private and exclusive golf and leisure clubs.

    Mwanga Steve

    Age: 36 years

    Title: Managing Director at Huddersfield Group, with interests in Aviation, Agriculture, Transport, Farm machinery and equipment

    Background: Business Administration degree from a US university. Started business in early 20s.

    First business venture: Farming

    Advice to youth: Since the youth constitute 70 per cent of the population we have the power to change Kenya. Work hard. Holiday destinations: Turkey, where I usually shop

    Source: Standard Newspaper

  • Wise Investments.

    Posted: March 30, 2012, 2:23 pm by Butterfly

    Hi there good people, i am really loving my new work place, sad thing is soon my internship is coming to an end (I hope i can convince them to let me stay till i get a new place to move to). As promised earlier i said i would give you afew details of this great minds behind this place n here we go…They say imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. Take a ride with me thru the doors of the office, u always welcomed by photos on the wall depicting of our lovely city (they are done by Jemedari media -oops i should not give you credit they are by Mutua Matheka n Steve Kitoto but Jemedari does deal in cinematography-weddings, corporate events, music and photography and well the rest are the engineering stuff Thornhead enginnering to be exact who basically cater the need of broadcasting and telecommunication industry i.e supply and installation of transmitters, design and installation of transmission rooms among others plus we the engineers are chic how cool is that. And well we have orbituary kenya it basically provides information about funerals and connects u to the community n enables u to pay tribute to ur loved ones who have gone before u.

    ANYWHO, I have to say this place has the warmest people, noisy, loud, cheeky, intellectual, spontaneous, interactive and more louder, silly, goofy and all those other things. I giess that sums up why i love coming to this place everyday. It’s reason enough to get out of bed. Here they are:Naomi


    Naomi, she is the lil one, cheeky brain child behind Orbituary Kenya and the engineer who fixes all the electronic by solderin (i fear electricity at all costs but her she will fix them)

    This is how she actually is, the crazy goofy one but aint they all tho she insists i put up the one she looks good. Her good side.

    Now this is the one she actually wants added to look nice hehe.

    This is the one she insists is her good side, woih don't let the innocence fool you she is goofy but also quite brilliant.

    .

    When he is not shooting videos, his infront of the screen sometimes relaxing abit.

    .
    Next their is my deskie, il say i am usually thankful that he usually has a lot of work to do rendering his work and makin the videos something good to look at.Uchokozi nayo, Hi deskie, He loves riddims and he and his friends are the guys behind Jemedari media. On normal occassions this is how he looks like when listening to music Riddims .

    Moving right along their is his friend Kanyingi or should i say Nyingez also known as duffy duck (DO NOT INQUIRE ITS A FUNNY STORY) He shoots alot of weddings and also is tryin out of photos too. Works with Katts, Billy, Steve and other ghost workers who have been away from the office due to work related schedules.

    Duffy duck when he is shootin.

    . Don’t let that look fool you btw, this is how he actually was I am sure i dont want to know what he was high on, 'Holy ghost fire.....Lord of signs and wonders, look upon us with love..

    That was before he met the lovely Smoothie, she is the the sweet one a</

    She is a beauty and always smilling

    .

    After meeting her he was transformed into this .

    There is also Billy, he is a human beat box, when his bored he does what he does best, mix with his mouth. Mmmh he does editting too

    On stage when he is not in the office doing what he loves best. Spitting the word for the most high.

    .

    He loves travelling alot too

    Billy in the beloved optimus 3 going on a road trip.

    .
    Their is a ghost worker who recently became an uncle so we havent seen him in the office since his caught up babysitting his handsome nephew or shooting somewhere. Steve

    Steve much pleased with his work

    Finally to pen this off is the resourceful Sarah

    She is the lady who will offer the biggest smile.

    . This lady is super resourceful at work when we go to the field and also at work. She is lovely.
    Well there are other people in this office but since time is running out and i have to rush to the field il be back to add to the rest. Hugs. read on the rest tho. Close your eyes, take a moment, and think about where you are today, and the journey that took you there. How much of that was is becauseof environment and upbringing? And how much is because of your genetic disposition?This i find fascinating, because it reveals to us a lot about ourselves as well as where we are going. It has significant implications for us in our quest to maximize our life expectation. If nature is more influential, then nature also sets bounds on where we can and cannot go. If nurture is more influential, then some of us are born significantly luckier than others.

    You see i believe life is a journey forward, with our hands at the helm and a destination that we are all trying to reach. However, not all of our boats started at the same place, and each of us has a different boat; some faster, some stronger, and some more agile. The idea being we are a product of our genes. Some of us are smarter, some faster, some more outgoing, and some more reserved.

    Because of this we all admire geniuses such as Einstein, or athletes such as Michael Jordan. Pop stars such as Michael Jackson and the latest being the lovely vocalist Whitnet Houston are legends whose names will probably never be forgotten. These are the names of people who have had a big impact on our world, in one way or another. However, how much of this success can be attributed to the unique make up of their DNA?

    As people, we tend to treat the world as if nature only plays a small role. Anyone can succeed in anything if they just try hard enough. Maybe it won’t be as easy as the greats, but it all comes down to effort. We judge people who are different from us; perhaps they’re shy, or act a little weird in some way. Perhaps they’re too outgoing. We tell the shy person “Why don’t you just be a little bit more outgoing?”, we ask the over-outgoing person if they can calm down a bit, and we look down on the weird person because they are different from us.

    We treat other people as if they act purely out of volition; they are different solely because they choose to be so. In fact, our entire legal system is based on this concept. We treat people as rational actors with intent, not as biological machines acting out on their genetic programming, even if genetics does happen to play a large role in how we behave.

    So, if nature determines a large part of our personality and physical characteristics, does that mean we’re screwed? It’s true that some of us are stronger and faster than others, and it’s true that most of us will never reach the level of someone like Einstein or one of the Michaels, no matter how hard we try. In this sense, free will is somewhat of an illusion. If we are not good in math or if we are not as charismatic as we’d like to be, this isn’t necessarily something that can be fixed just by willing it to be.

    However, the belief that we can change things is a very powerful thing. It doesn’t matter if nature places limits on where we can go, if we don’t even try, we will never get anywhere close to those limits to begin with. If I believe that I can make a difference and if I believe that I can change my life for the better, then I will be able to go much further and much closer to my limits. Life dealt us a random starting hand, but we still get to choose how we play out that hand.Instead of genetics being the primary driver, perhaps it is our environment and upbringing that plays a large role. Nurture is just as random as nature: We didn’t choose if we were going to be born to loving parents or to unkind parents, in a rich country or a poor country, in a rich family or a poor one. Someone born to a crack mother in an inner-city ghetto certainly had no more influence over that choice than someone born to an upper-class household. Someone born and raised in a tribe in Kenya is most certainly going to have a different life experience than somebody born and raised in a middle-class household in Kitsuru. Anyway when all is said and done you can make a difference in whichever field u in if you invest wisely in your enviroment, surroundings and mostly you. To add to that all photos above are copyrighted so contact either Mike “katts” Katetei, George “skah” Kanyingi (Nyingez), Naomi Kalondu Mkamburi (Kalosh) or Steve Kitoto (Uncle Steve ”kitots”). Thank you.

  • Handbags, shoes and purses

    Posted: March 13, 2012, 3:40 pm by Butterfly

    Boots and Handbags, like diamonds

    Handbags are a vital fashion statement in a womans world a fact that most men dont know. Am no fashion expert but this is not an excuse for women to carry an oversize knock off gucci bag with only a phone and maybe house keys save me the drama.Size matters and organisation of your handbag.Try to remember to bring the appropriate handbag using the suitable occasion to get the perfect design and fashion.

    I like to pick distinct handbags for just about every occasion and match them with my sense of style. Create a collection of handbags which can satisfy my day to day actions and well the unsaid unspoken shoes that my friends are startin to complain i spent just alil bit more time checkin out new websites to order more shoes but like i say “you can never have enough stilletos”. So anyway back to my handbag stash, am still shocked at everytime i ask my man to carry my bag he looks at it like its a loaded gun just about to fire.Most men do shy away from them lady handbags unless there is a catch like “baby, do you love me, then you wouldnt mind holding my bag” trust me that line dont work with my man he is shy. So this one time i sort to find out why but before that i made him carry my bag and he sighrd “baby what do you carry in your bag?” Haha i tell you this man is hard to make him carry by handbag but my backpack well those he will carry with pride so one of this fine days il carry a lady backpack n see if he carries it *hun i love you just the same.

    So finally i can say with pride that after years of losing my keys in my handbag and my phone or just anything at all. This must have bn bad karma for all the years I made fun of women. * you must understand i may not carry big oversized Hermes(psst they only produce 3000 crocodile purses an year) handbags or the classy replica prada, mulberry, Louis Vuitton etc). It must have been awkward when someone esp a guy asked me for a nail file, or clipper and i had to dig deep for more like 2 minutes to almost pouring out the contents of my handbag out just for the metallic file.
    Basically my handbag is the sartorial equivalent of glancing inside windows on an evening walk.A man will never love you or treat you as well as a handbag. If a man doesn’t fit, you can’t exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A handbag can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags uuuh baby, am chgeating on you with my online handbag market.

    Anyway y’all must be waiting to view contents of my handbag well here goes nothing and dont u b planning to rob me now. You’l find lipstick not that i wear one but it makes my bag look diva, then some lip balm and lip gloss just to make my lips look lustrous *kisses* and the occassional cold sore balm.There is the makeup. I wish I could say I was a “natural beauty” and didn’t need makeup…..This means i got facial tissue to wipe away the tears, haha i hardly show emotions in public am just saying. Mascara, always makes the eyes pop, eyeliner to see better, eye drops to c better, no blurred vision and well. Eye shadow just to make them eyes look brighter and hide those freckles, some foundation and powder and blush. You need to have a close to perfect face *i dint say cake yourself in make up tho*.

    Then as I become more experienced in “hand bag” basics, here is what I need in my purse to survive in the world.
    Of course I need my ID’s and and my bank card as I try to carry very little cash. Even though I don’t deal with credit cards I seemingly accumulate other plastic cards at an alarming rate. From grocery stores, to gas stations to the various restaurants I go to-everyone offers a card. Yes I do use them and I’m fairly sure I have a million bonus points and my own personal jet waiting for me when I cash in. Loyalty card work wonders i tell you and soon il be cashing in those points.Of course there are the feminine hygiene products I carry in case I run into someone elses’ monthly emergency in the bathroom.Or how about several receipts I don’t know even where they came from mixed in with a few coupons (might just get to saving a few more shillings to purchase more bags or the bornrich handbag). To add to that i got a pair of scissors, razor, pepper spray dont you b caught arguing with a missy hehe. Then the shop 100 tailor kit for the emergency skirt rips when alighting our mats (those are drama), i have swit things too from candies to chocolate which i cldnt go a day without.

    Occasionally i may have a notepad, day planner, diary and novel. Maybe a flashlight. Oooh my travel toiletries of tooth brush and paste, lotion and sanitizer lol! am already exhausted from spilling them. How about i just pour out my bag for you to c dear one. Am shocked i havent gotten a spinal injury from dragging along this handbags with me. So far so good now i have a handbag organiser so i know where everything is anytime. Mmmh ladies never be caught pouring out the contents of your bag when changing bags cz this organiser saves you the time and stress and you no longer need to dig deeper finding stuff -) .

    Handbag organiser bam!!!

    Now I understand why the contents of a woman’s purse was always such an off limits subject. Explaining to someone the whys and hows of what’s in the bag would give away the obvious. I need everything in there for my life…DUH!
    Don’t be sticking your hand in there…something could bite you!

  • The big dreams

    Posted: March 12, 2012, 4:44 pm by Butterfly

    Well its yet another new month and seems soon again the bells of christmas will be sounding and the coca cola adverts for christmas will be running. Anyway around me am surrounded by small big with big ambitions. I call them small coz they are young but the ambitions i hear in this palce at times may drive me crazy so iv learnt to keep my sanity in the midst somehow. Having known this people for a while some from i’d say the ages of 12 n here we are all grown up. Its bn only a month but the fan and the memories i hold of this place make it hard for me to think of being anywhere else tho i know the time will come when i will have t follow my dreams tho for now this is enough. The personalities that are arnd me are awesome but how we get along is amazing. Am still yet to think of a day i havent laughed at myself or at something funny.
    You should hear the ambitious start up ideas this place has, they may be frightening only coz they are terrific and attract alot of prospect so i end up shrinking away because am not sure i would have the courage to take up the big spots. I want the finer things in life but am not a risk taker i give out the idea and hope someone executes, this guys execute while still coming up with the idea. They have confidence in what they do its amazing.
    I love them all and each new day that goes by i know that soon il be writting about them in character and person because you will be looking for them, you will know their names but you wont know their story as they will b amazing person changing the world.
    It all starts from this office where big ambitions are build, everyday an adventure into the future that awaits us. I’m learning that being a big dreamer doesn’t mean that you walk around with your head in the clouds. It means that you’re seeking a purpose for your life and it means that you’re becoming fulfilled in the process.
    People that get into the habit of dreaming big will accomplish those goals because they have the right mindset. You need to look at life with the perspective that you can achieve anything that’s possible. For now we have big dreams that keep us happy and give us a reason to press on to tomorrow.

  • Cinderella tales

    Posted: February 6, 2012, 9:23 pm by Butterfly

    Can you keep a secret? So can i!!!!!”

    All of us have secrets, deep inside our hearts.
    We kept them deep not because we don’t want anyone to find out, we are only waiting for the right person to tell…I love the story of Cinderella like so many people do. I think her story continues to be told in many different cultures and generations because in one way or another, we can all relate to her. Every gal is searching for a happy ever after ending. Kate Middleton’s story is one of those fairy tale Cinderella come alive worlds and is living the life/ Oh blimey she did look fabulous..
    Away with that and to the secret which might not b a strange tale, his prince charming though may not own a castle (am blaming fairy tales for saying that he owns a castle, rides a horse and has an armor). My prince is sweet and charming kindhearted. No matter how bad i look he’ll call me beautiful. It’s his beauty that i draw my strength from. The fact that i can sit all day by my office desk and plan my dream wedding, cathedral style.
    Guess you can say that he can make it snow in the crazy summer kenyan weather and make it shine during the cold rainy seasons in may. His my heaven on earth. Its really fun when at the end of the day coming home to a listening ear an hug that makes the spirit lifted……..
    To be continued tmrw

  • growing up

    Posted: February 6, 2012, 3:46 pm by Butterfly

    We’ve all had dreams growing up. Here we are now years later am wondering if it would have been better for me to have filmed my dreams and watched them later on in life like right now when am still miles away from them. I dint stop dreaming just that now i dream in HD.
    I miss the innocence; the days with imaginary friends and pretending to be grown up. Everyone used to tell me, “These are the best years of your life, enjoy them while you can.” All i wanted then was to dress up like them, wear my 6 inch heels ( truth is i can’t stand them but i got pairs of them in my shoe rack Anyway I did not realize that those youthful days would come to an end and growing up would not be as easy as it was in my mind.
    So as you know a child you has no worries, at least not when you look at the big picture. When I was a little girl I did not have to worry about getting a job or making money, instead I pretended to “work” by my own rules and my own made up hours. My occupation changed depending on my mood; some days I taught a group of imaginary students, other days I saved lives, and occasionally I would serve food, concocted from grass, flowers and dirt, to make-believe customers or work like my mom at home “cha mama”. Although I did not make any real money, I made some unforgettable memories and had the time of my life. As a young girl I did not dread going to school because I loved school; it made me feel older and important. Going to school meant that I was growing up and that I would finally be able to live my dreams. Those were the days, the days I had time to run around in the yard play chobo ua, kati, skip ropes and whatever games you can think of including shake and rounders. Now i miss that innocence.
    “We’re growing up; we’ve changed so much…Another morning here I am, between a deadline and a traffic jam.” I have come a long way since I was that carefree girl with dreams that stretched for miles. I have grown up and have been stripped of the innocence that I had as a little girl. My mind goes crazy with all of the things I have to keep track of and worry about these days. Instead of playing in my innocent world, I am bombarded by the daunting stories on the news about the recent shootings and the dangers we should be aware of. My mind is constantly occupied by health concerns and body image. I find myself lost in a gigantic world full of uncertainty and full of worry.

    “When dreams were all we had…” Those dreams from my younger days are turning into realities. I went from yearning to be in school, to wishing I was in high school, to fast forwarding to college. Now I dream of going to medical school and becoming a doctor. College is so different than what I expected; I thought it would be like high school but with some bonuses like choosing your schedule and having more freedom. I imagined that college would be so much better. I was wrong; those were the best years of my life. I miss the innocence I had, even in high school. At my high school, Mutz, everyone knew each other (it’s only logical since we all came from the same village. It is a village school afterall) and we were one big family. I was comforted by the walls that protected me from the outside world; now there are not any walls protecting me and I do not know anyone. The people in town are not friendly like the ones in high school; if you are not part of a “group” then you do not fit in. “Days like this, I miss the innocence.”

    One day I will probably look back at college and think, “I wish I could go back,” just like I wish I could go back to my younger days and to high school. I know, now, that no matter what path life decides to take me down it is important to enjoy every moment because I cannot go back. I need to find the innocence in myself, today and in the future, so I can fully get the most out of all my experiences. With every new encounter, we are all innocent in some way; no matter how old we get we will never truly be stripped of our innocence and we will never stop dreaming, even if that innocence and those dreams are modified along way.

Comments for Blog.Mavuno

  • Comment on Thrive On The Inside by africanbutterfly

    Posted: January 26, 2012, 1:46 pm by africanbutterfly

    So the message about thriving on the inside before I can thrive on the outside really resonated with me- intellectually. I understand what you mean, I see the sense in working for God not complaining, whining or making excuses, basically emulating Joseph l. But how do I do it? How do I let go of all the hurt and pain, and resentment and anger and and and…. I feel a mild stirring in my (soul?) Sunday’s when I sing, and hear the word, but that all seems to evaporate the minute I leave the dome. I can’t ever recall once in my life feeling the spiritual awakening I hear you Christians speak off. I told a friend this week that I feel spiritually bankrupt. Nothing. Nada. Flat line.Dead. Attending church just happens to be an activity I enjoy.
    I truly don’t think I would know the difference between the spirit moving and indigestion. I want so badly to feel real joy inside. To KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that God loves ME. That he indeed has good plans for me and my loved ones. I bought the 1yr bible, and its taken 26days to reach Day 3 of the reading. I know that that’s part laziness and part plain boredom, not to mention wasting time asking questions like did Cain marry his sister and did they produce mutant babies as a result? I did mizizi and joined a life group that subsequently died, and i found a way to internalize that as God not truly wanting me in his fold.Every single Sunday I feel like I should answer the altar call- even though I’ve said the proverbial sinner’s prayer at least 500times, and that I should stand for every single group of people needing prayer and deliverance from every form of addiction…or should I just remain standing throughout the sermons? Can God really save, deliver and forgive someone like me?Really? I’ll come to worship night- my first-, see if anything ‘happens’.

Butterfly fly too....

  • love opportunity

    Posted: October 18, 2011, 2:15 pm by Butterfly

    There is in each of us, no matter how humble, a capacity for love. Even
    if our lives have not taken the course we had envisioned, even if we are
    less than the shape of our dreams, we are part of the human family.
    Somewhere, in the most inconsequential corners of our lives, is the
    opportunity for love.

    If I am blind, I can run my hand across the back of a shell and
    celebrate beauty. If I have no legs, I can sit in quiet wonder before
    the restless murmurs of the sea. If I am wounded in spirit, I can reach
    out my hand to those who are hurting. If I am lonely, I can go among
    those who are desperate for love. There is no tragedy or injustice so
    great, no life so small and inconsequential, that we cannot bear witness
    to the light in the quiet acts and hidden moments of our days.

    And who can say which of these acts and moments will make a difference?
    The universe is a vast and magical membrane of meaning, stretching
    across time and space, and it is not given to us to know her secrets and
    her ways. Perhaps we were placed here to meet the challenge of a single
    moment; perhaps the touch we give will cause the touch that will change
    the world.

  • the mystery

    Posted: October 18, 2011, 2:02 pm by Butterfly

    When all the words have been written, and all the
    phrases have been spoken, the great mystery of life
    will still remain. We may map the terrains of our
    lives, measure the farthest reaches of the universe,
    but no amount of searching will ever reveal for certain
    whether we are all children of chance or part of a
    great design.

    And who among us would have it otherwise? Who
    would wish to take the mystery out of the experience
    of looking into a newborn infant’s eyes? Who would
    not feel in violation of something great if we had
    knowledge of what has departed when we stare into
    the face of one who has died? These are the events
    that made us human, that define the distance
    between the stars and us.

    Still, this life is not easy. Much of its mystery is darkness. Tragedies occur, injustices exist. Bad things befall good people and sufferings are visited upon the innocent. To live we must take the lives of other species, to survive we must leave some of our brothers and sisters by the side of the road. We are prisoners of time, victims of biology, hostages of our own capacity to dream.

    At times it all seems too much, impossible to accept.

    We must stand against this. The world is a great mysterious place, and it’s possibilities are infinite, governed only by what our hearts can conceive. If we incline our hearts towards the darkness, we will see darkness. If we incline them toward the light, we will see the light.

    Those of great heart have always known this. They have understood that, as honorable as it is to see the wrong and try to correct it, a life well lived must somehow celebrate the promise that life provides. The darkness at the limits of our knowledge; the darkness that sometimes seem to surround us is merely a way to make us reach beyond certainty, to make our lives a witness to hope, a testimony to possibility, an urge toward the best and the most honorable impulses that our hearts can conceive.

    It is not hard. There is in each of us, no matter how humble, a capacity for love. Even if our lives have not taken the course we had envisioned, even if we are less than the shape of our dreams, we are part of the human family. Somewhere, in the most inconsequential corners of our lives, is the opportunity for love.

    If I am blind, I can run my hand across the back of a shell and celebrate beauty. If I have no legs, I can sit in quiet wonder before the restless murmurs of the sea. If I am wounded in spirit, I can reach out my hand to those who are hurting. If I am lonely, I can go among those who are desperate for love. There is no tragedy or injustice so great, no life so small and inconsequential, that we cannot bear witness to the light in the quiet acts and hidden moments of our days.

    And who can say which of these acts and moments will make a difference? The universe is vast and is a magical membrane of meaning, stretching across time and space, and it is not given to us to know her secrets and her ways. Perhaps we were placed here to meet the challenge of a single moment; perhaps the touch we give will cause the touch that will change the world.

  • Finding that dish in the city of smoke

    Posted: August 19, 2011, 12:28 pm by Butterfly

    Grab your fork because life is one long buffet table. From the onset i would like to say am not a critic who writes restaurant reviews but i have to say about this new restaurant i was in yetserday. Maybe because it offered a freebie for the lady much to the luck of the guys i was with.

    Being at a place you have never been before is a great thing. You feel a rush of expectations, anticipating situations and new experiences, along with your fears too. You project your desire onto the new thing, be it a new country, a new restaurant or hotel, a new wine, etc.

    How memorable an event can be, or how disappointing depends in part to those expectations. If you go to the fanciest restaurant (trust me this is one in an alley you would miss) in your town you have a different approach than meeting friends for a drink, coffee, mocktail, cocktail take your pick. It also depends on the unexpected, those elements that were not supposed to be there to begin with. Like that really kind waiter who is an expert on machiatto but also an expert on Italian horror cinema. Or moving the curtains of your new room to discover a balcony to a beautiful street and not just a window to a wall. It occurs in the negative sense too, a corked wine, over-cooked meat or Mexico beating France in the World Cup.

    But let us take a situation I was recently in, so my bestfriend in this case my boyfriend, our valuable friend (mmmh baba) and my charming most insane friend and his charming bro met for uji at Lifestyle. As always hangin out with Gil is jus a madness in its case but he is gud people and i love tht my boyfriend is easy with hangin out with als on our dates at tyms. So we pay up and pull up signs- the kind people carry at the airport with ppls names for our other gal who am proud of Thogii and ask her to ‘leave one in all the states she goes to’ I know she will be big and i appreciate her beauty and urge her on. All this tym ppl around lifestyle food bar are lookin at us like we high on some cheap weed. I promise we all forgot our blue pills for Thogii, gal is talented. After our madness Gil tells us to walk down to this new place his bro was goin for dinner and i love food so why not (dnt forget am fightin weight). As my first time there I expected great ambience, clean streets, lots of people and really good coffee. Because of this last factor going to a fancy restaurant was a reason for great expectations.
    So we went to this fancy unknown before restaurant in the middle of some street and i go in to find an elegant room surrounded by windows. I hadn’t known this place and so did my friends so we grab a seat and a menu is brought.

    When you get a list that displays many things at once you assume everything and only go to the drinks and i asked for a machiatto. Till now am still laughin at myself, my drink came and jus to leave the details out am sure il be bac for one tho i hope the cup will be larger than my pinkie finger and my teaspoon will be able to stir the cup.

    I was seated at the table studying facial expression as i drank So as my boyfriend and his pals enjoyed the busy work of a chef behind the ……….. I was calling for help (i.e. the macchiatto). Here is where the unexpected kicked in, the server asked me twice if id really wanted a macchiatto and i insisted tht yes i did.

    Thinking I couldnt rely on our waiter’s knowledge, I didn’t ask for recommendations. “I would like to try a macchiato.” I say. “Well what do you want? latte macchiato or macchiato?” He replied. Later on as he starts simplifying things I start getting worried. “Well, never mind give me macchiato”

    However it was not an exciting discovery. It did not meet my expectations for a new experience as I have had many bitter things and order for juice and this is where it gets exciting,as the guys enjoyed their food i tried drinkin down the coffee.
    When time to leave came our waiter brought me what was for the ldy your trully a mocktail glass which was nothing but a taste of heaven. Till now everything iv had includin my famous mint chocolate cannot wipe the taste of tht Italian drink away.
    My friends froze for a minute while others had their sensation wiped out from the goodness. It smelt so gud esp the strawberry and whatever else tht was inside was jus amazing. I want to go bac their because after all tht i got the drink named after me and its now known as #theKarey and i know all my friends who love fine things in life will love it too.
    The services are too awesome and the customer served with tender care and appreciation. I hereby by the powers vested to me pronounce NOMA CAFFE the best restaurant in town. Awesome stuff and gud people. Loved every moment at tht place and well i hope the Karey never replaces my friends and my hunky love. Love you all people.
    Next time i go there i hope they do something more exciting for me cz now am already hooked like a bad addiction.

  • ugly duckling…:(

    Posted: May 19, 2011, 7:47 pm by Butterfly

    If there is one thing I have bn turned to lately it will be a cry baby. This year has not quite turned out as I expected or how I would have wanted it to from the word go. Unlike other New Year eves parties where I have actually started the New Year among those friends who make life glamorous this year was the worst. I was knocked out by midnight and it wasn’t from hard partying, alcohol or drinks. It was something else…
    I look bac then and wish maybe I could conspire with mother nature to change the course of time. AND So since am at my worst right now, attending therapy(WHICH MKS ME FL LIKE SHIT) and feelin like am spendin too much money on someone who won’t give me answers or help me(frustrated) . Feels like am always being replaced by those I really care about. I’d call it upgrading coz thts what I normally do. I upgrade things to suit my needs jus like I shop for shoes, clothes and handbags. I wasn’t like this and I have an explanation so today il spill it and hope tht this will be the last tears il have to cry. That il numb it all in….
    So I grew up different from all you people. I grew up knowing you had to be strong and well different was deemed a curse. To say the least I got picked up because my family background was rich, I got picked because I had a borrowed accent from the western world. It all began the day we finally moved in to Nairobi, Kenya. I could give anything to go bac to where I lived before movin to Nairobi the city I have known all pain and hurt known to mankind. I got picked on for having a caring delicate heart tht was filled with kindness and virtues I had picked from my mother. She loves without limit even when it hurt her to love. I swore that someday id grow up to show her love and repay her kindness.
    Life hasn’t been fair tho coz right now am still lost. At some point in my growing up since my pops was a known wealthy man in the village my aunts and cousins would come over and again I got picked on coz I would always get what I wanted from my pops, but why wouldn’t I get what pleased me when I was his only lovely gal child even when it did come with a price. To say I haven’t been kicked out of our house would be a lie coz I have been kicked out of the house several tyms. Some were my fault e.g. comin home later than my curfew others am not sure why.(story for another day).
    Before I get to tht point where I started getting kicked out of the house, there is tht year when everything changed 1998. I know I should be happy tht the bastard Osama is dead but to be real am not satisfied. I had vowed I would find tht man and take out all my frustration on him. I stopped being the star and started being blamed for stuff tht happened even if they weren’t my fault. Take for example if my pops car got dented in town while I was in school tht was definitely my fault. If my baby brother lost his diary in school it as my fault or if the house maid broke a class while I was in school it was my fault. So I got blamed on for a lot of stuff.
    I rem one time in class five when some gal called Ivy rubbed the board and dusted the duster on the teachers chair. Mind you next day was my birthday so I came to school with this amazing cake my mother had baked and sweets and sodas for my class to enjoy. When I got to class I was thupped like no one’s business coz the so called Ivy said I had been the one who had done tht. It dint end there coz in the afternoon the teachers calendar was missing or rather someone had placed it inside the drawer and I got caned for tht. Then my music teacher who couldn’t understand why I was cryin called me some demeaning words. I did however cut my cake n moved on with life. When I got home I played out how happy I was cz if I cried my mother would have been given a gud reason to cry.
    In class seven things got worse, adolescence knocked on my door and my face lets jus say dint help so I was nicknamed

    spotty hyena, while others called me a warthog. Sometyms in the morning id get notes in my locker that read “roses are red, violets are blue, get a facelift” others were do you even own a mirror coz ur ugliness would break the mirrors in town and mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all…., oops the mirror broke from the horror.

    Tht was class seven; I lived thru it never tellin a soul coz my mother would have given me a reason to cry if I tried sayin I was sad or showin sadness. In class eight, I only got 15 success cards seven( out of 96students in my stream when id sent everyone one) of which were from family and don’t ask about the rest cz there were full of hate words about

    how me being a spotty hyena I had no bright future, how
    I had to get a facelift, how I should buy a mask to hide my face

    the list is endless not forgettin my scrapbook tht was filled with hate mail. Each day of those three exam days I faced horrors and when I was done I moved on to high school with a dented image, lowest esteem ever. So I hated ppl and I hate myself a lot. That’s when I knew I had to be mean to survive cz clearly the world hated me.
    Here I am today feelin the same thing too because I never built bac my esteem. Instead I learnt I could buy anything because daddy says you can buy happiness and everything including anything. I could buy whatever because I can afford it and don’t need any sugar daddy but it doesn’t fill the void of love and attention I seek. God feels away too and am like on a pedestal. My tears have become the rain waterin my bed each night………… I have fallen in love and had my heart broken. I have had guys who have told me they wouldn’t date me coz I wasn’t tht pretty and had enough drop me the minute someone better lookin came along my their way even if it meant my friends of family.
    How do I feel? tired of it all. It bring me to this year when I found the one I thought loved me for me but shock on me when I finally gave him my heart. He left me for my bestfriend, I should smile right but the insults couldn’t pass cz I feel worthless in this world. Like I am the biggest mistake in the world because of the above I forgot how to love, trust and be a gud friend because I was so scared to let him all in. Because I should have trusted him enough to know tht he wouldn’t hurt me. I so hate myself very much you have no idea. I feel like it doesn’t matter anymore whose side am on anymore because I lost the one person who brought me joy. I miss his company because he was a gud friend and right now am not sure if his still my close friend and coz his slippin from my arms. Am wondering God what is this tht am payin for this badly with my life this long.
    Will I ever stop hurtin (as I wipe away my tears). I have tried everything I know to say am sorry to this one person coz he means the world but doesn’t know his putting off the fire he once lit in me. I don’t want to go bac to the place I was, always doubtin myself, fln unpretty, worthless and a mistake( OOPS ALREADY THERE). Hidin in the dark corners of the rooms hopin to vanish. I won’t lie I feel suicidal but it scares me shitless to think of dying and goin to hell like here where I am aint hell already for me. Who will save me???????

  • butterfly

    Posted: May 15, 2011, 4:27 pm by Butterfly

    4 years ago on a cold afternoon, I stood over her holdin her hand and talkin about what we would do after surgery.Places we would visit and how we would make music with our violins. We had taken them for tuning three days after she had come home from hospital again. She was glowing and happy and had this amazing aura in her tone. It all sounded fun at the moment, all looked like this would be our journey to the future when she tagged on my hand and quietly whispered, `angel who will hold you hand when am gone’. Years later here I am at her graveside, finely polished marble, lilies and roses well manicured lawn and there lay the stone, herein lay the remains of …………too young to have gone away but worse is how I never learnt to accept you gone.
    I feel like some day you’l jump out of the closet when am goin to bed like we used to everytym we had a slipover or you’l switch off the tv so tht u can get my attention everyday like you used to every evening when you got bac home if we hadn’t spend the day together pinning over the cute guys we saw during the day or discussing what cars we would like to drive after we started working. I rem how the boys wondered how we never got bored of each other n how we always had stuff to talk about even if we spent tym with each other 24/7. Id love to tell you that ur letter to campus cam thru. You managed to join an ivy league school which was a few miles from me n I dint go coz we were to go together. Our summers at summer camp and spring break Baywatch.
    I could still play the favourite melody we made u on our violins and I still have tickets to our first classical show on broadway. I have picture of our matchin shoes and Sunday dresses, luminous green which looked like rainbows and we looked multi-colored flower gals. I still eick and I wont ever dress my lil gals like that. That used to be the life then you left and u watchin over me and I miss you terribly when good things happen and u not here to take in the details. You used to be the fun part of me tho very diligent in your actions. Remember flash cards before spellin bee and how we would use those big ambiguous words as nana called them on the nanny. Gudtyms last but good ppl don’t.
    Babe I miss you a lot and am a huge mess lately and you not here to give me ur warm hugs or talk to me so I sleep on it every day. It kills me afresh each day so I moved away, tryin to run away from acceptin you wont be here again to c me win, to c me accomplish what we started. To take me bowling whenever

  • Playing hard to get entropy..

    Posted: May 4, 2011, 3:08 pm by Butterfly

    The Concept of Playing Hard To Get … In the 21 Century!

    I have pondered over this topic for a couple of days now, over the actions of someone.

    I wish I could draw out the situation, play by play. However, not sure who reads my blog yet (secretly, no one does *pouts*), so I am forced to take the inconspicuous route.

    PLAYING HARD TO GET
    …. is it necessary in the 21st century ?!?!??!?!

    Like really, its actually rather difficult and in my opinion nearly impossible. Well, first let relay my caveat as to who should/should not play Hard-To-Get :

    25 and Older Crew

    Unacceptable: The 25 and older crew:
    Like really! Get Straight to the point why, waste time with an individual. You are grown, you should be able to drop enough hints for the person of your interest to let them know what’s up. IF NOT, MOVE FORWARD!

    Example: I went out one night and this guy I have seen a couple of times. However, each time we were out we paired up with someone else. Finally, went STRAIGHT TO THE POINT WITH OUR CONVERSATION! (Nervous Chuckle). So after maybe like 3 whole minutes of innocent banter, he took it all the way XXX . Said stuff like, “I want to suck you dry, …you till you cant walk straight.” BLAH AND MORE BLAH. Now, I was laughing because he went 360 degrees left with our convo, so I guess thats why he continued but in my mind. I was like I hope this is the alcohol. Then I hit him up on BBM the next day like in the afternoon and he went straight into it again. I Hope he didn’t think I was that type of girl, that would entertain that nonsense. The way I am shape may scream sexually active, but I am not. ON TO THE NEXT!!!! *insert Jay-Z voice*

    College Students/Teenagers
    Acceptable: Teenagers/College Students

    You see your “interest” everyday at school. Furthermore, everyone else sees your “interest,” therefore, knows your business. Since there are not many limitations, MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT.
    The Rejector

    Acceptable: For ‘The Rejector”

    Simply said, if they rejected you once, IN NO WAY should you make it easy for them. Humans are so flucking indecisive! They hate one thing one minute and love it the next. Your ego falters when you are rejected, if your interest once another chance MAKE THEM WORK FOR IT. Allow them “to help” Build back what they broke”

    Unacceptable: The Underdog

    If you are playing hard to get with someone who is way out of your league, your not smart, Understand the odds are already against you, therefore, PUT IN WORK!

    Example: Now, there was once a guy I met and prior to our first meet-up I thought I was the underdog, so I put in work. Then, at our first Date the roles completely changed and I realized he was not much above me at all. Therefore, I slowly slithered back and THE WORK became 50% /50% on both sides. For sometime ( another blog entry *pouts*)

    The Pompous

    Acceptable: For the “Pompous”

    Some people need the air knocked out of their chest. Those arrogant, cocky, snobby BLAH AND MORE BLAH, personality flawed pricks. Please do us all a favor and deflate their ego.

    Example: I knew this one guy who knew the best way to HUMBLE “some” Self-Absorbed girl was to ignore them. It worked!

    Good Guy/Girl

    Unacceptable: Good Guy/Good Girl

    Representing TEAM GOOD GIRL! Why!!! Play hard to get with us. I have never dated a guy who I was not interested in, never let him “toast me” aka “take me out” if I could see long term w/ them. I rather sit at home, lifeless with some Instant Lunch Ramen Noodles (indomie) and a Remote. Then waste some poor guys time/money. My friends, make fun of me for that. Team GOOD Guy/ Girl, know what they want, so if you don’t move forward!

    Unacceptable: Unattractive (personality and face)
    If you are unattractive, and you are “playing the game of hard to get” #SmackUrSelf!!! Trust if that person is entertaining your Bullshit. Understand 1) Your personality truly is not their objective (lieu Money, Hook-ups) 2) You are likely a rebound. 3)Someone better has not come round and when they do you will become a backseat driver.

    Unacceptable: Those who need “Personality Grooming” aka ASSHOLES
    Those of you who have some type of “Personality Flaw” Trust the longer you “play the game” by playing Hard to get the more evident that flaw will become. Time will not change these Assholes, simply what you get in the beginning, you will get in the end. So follow Kanye’s words and “Runaway as fast as you can”

    Unacceptable: Prince Charming
    WOMEN!!!! Understand Prince Charming comes But Once! If he comes a blazing on his chariot a second time, consider your self VERY lucky. Before you, prince charming has slain dragons, cast off wizards, entered enchanted dark forest, killed wicked witches(bitches) and so forth. Prince Charming does not have time for your BULLSHIT. He shouldn’t have to play the game, HE’s TIRED!!! Biko (means please in Igbo)! Give him some solace and rest, by allowing him peace and not another conquest. More importantly, understand he is FCUKIN’ Prince Charming!! and every fair-maiden in his kingdom secretly wants him. Therefore, don’t be late to the ball bitches lol.

    Acceptable: Damsel in Distress
    Why should anyway want to clean up a mess they did not create. Why should any man/woman deal with wounds they did not produce. You can be some ones “Love Crutch” for so long before you realize, its time for them to walk on their own. So they were hurt… who cares!!! You dont have to deal with their nonsense because of that. Loving someone is therapeutics. Its Science! your body shoots endorphins ( a chemical neurotransmitter) to your body makes you elated. SO let them heal themselves by loving again!

    Example: I am sure as children we all went through band-aid stages. Where we begged our parents to put a band-aid on any small scrape, bump, bruise or even non-existent pain free scratch. However, like most things children do which is irrational our parents started to deny us. Telling us you don’t need a band-aid it will heal on its own! Tell them Broads the same SHIT and keep it moving!

  • Peak and valley

    Posted: May 3, 2011, 10:29 am by Butterfly

    Now Lord, don’t move my mountain.
    But, Give me the strength to Climb it
    And Lord, Don’t take away my stumbling blocks
    But lead me all around )

    LIFE is truly what you make it, there are certain things in life you question and you will likely question till the day you die. I am so happy, I do not understand everything that happens in life, the mysteries of life, gives life a Je ne sais suoi…. WHICH IS AWESOME!

    You can question every bad thing that has happened to you, but in the end what do you gain? And What deeper understanding do you have? Yes, it will make you wiser, but in the end does it make you stronger? Does it give you back hours that have passed, or days that are long and gone? The Past is simply the past, Time has no frame of reference or desire to give you back days they allowed you to borrow. Time is blatantly disrespectful and very selfish, it could care less about you or your daily matters. Cherish life and every second time has place before you. Life is truly what you make it. Thus, Seize the day . I have quoted Horace Ode 1.11 partially before but this probably is 6 on my list of favorite poems. (I already planned to have my children write this 100 times as a punishment when they act up, but this will be encrypted into their memory)

    Don’t ask (it’s forbidden to know) what end
    the gods will grant to me or you, Leuconoe. Don’t play with Babylonian
    fortune-telling either. It is better to endure whatever will be.
    Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters or this final one
    which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite
    be wise, strain the wine, and scale back your long hopes
    to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have already fled
    Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.

    Life is one big mountain terrain, which consists of peaks and vallies, you may be climbing a mountain right now and it’s very difficult to see every obstacle you face, every battle you’ve one, and how far you have gotten. But, once you are on top of that mountain YOU SEE EVERYTHING. *Smiles*

    Science even tells us the higher you go up a mountain, the atmospheric pressure will decrease; therefore atmospheric pressure is highest at the bottom of a mountain. Once you are at the top of a mountain and you look down that mountain terrain the pressure aka stress is low. Furthermore, from the height where you stand you can see every peak and valley you have climbed thus far.

    That parallels with Life …

    keep climbing, and overcome obstacles and
    keep climbing, and have your heart broken, and
    keep climbing, and be defeated
    But Keep Climbing. The pressure will soon cease and you will have Sweet victory.

    It is easy for me to look down and see my valley, (ie qualms, troubles, hurts, failures and so forth). Contrastively, Looking up is hard and requires extra vigor where I have to strain my neck to visualize the top of my peak (ie my dreams, goals, love, success). My heart is smiling right now through adversities, because I know I am climbing a mountain. The Pressure A.K.A Stress may be high, but, my peak is near ) . And once I am at my peak, I can look down and all those issues will look soooo small.

    So there is nothing left for me to do but ….. CONTINUE TO CLIMB )

  • A little each day by Janette

    Posted: May 3, 2011, 10:24 am by Butterfly

    So it seemed that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
    So I took matters into my own hands, and ended up with him.
    Him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, & a thief.

    So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
    I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,
    Cause it was me who let him in…
    Claiming we were “just friends”.
    It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t!
    I was gonna make him ‘The One’
    You know, I was tired of being alone.
    And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time,

    So I decided to drag him along for the ride,
    Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride.
    A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!
    Who was tired of the wait!
    So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.
    He had a… form of Godliness… but not much.
    But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough.
    Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me.
    Arties so clogged with my will, it blocked His will from flowing through me.
    So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
    That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back
    Through my ignorance He sawed,
    Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
    To transplant Psalm 51:10
    A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!

    So now I fully understand,
    Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
    How much I need to wait… for You.
    See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..
    Cause in the beginning was the Word
    And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
    Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
    And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –
    Which meant NOTHING.
    He couldn’t even pray when I needed him to,
    Asking him to fast would be absurd!
    So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…
    But I know You..
    You were already praying for me.
    Even never having met me,
    Let me assure you, I will wait for you.

    I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
    To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention
    And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.
    You know….
    He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
    His first name LUKE,
    His last name WARM.
    I, I won’t settle for false companionship
    I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
    Attempting to find some closeness,
    But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held
    Cause ”all I gotta do is Say” No!
    No more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’
    Passing winks & buying drinks,
    I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!
    Who flirts with the ideology of,
    ‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’
    NO more.
    I’ll stay in my bed alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you.
    He won’t even come close,
    Our fingers won’t even interlock
    We won’t even exchange breath
    Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

    I will no longer get weighted down,
    From so-called friends & family talks,
    About the concern for my biological clock
    When I serve the Author of Time.
    Who is NOT subject to time,
    But I’M subject to Him,
    He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…

    So if we could role play,
    You would be Abraham & I would be Sara
    Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer
    I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
    Made up of your rib Adam!
    And once we meet, like electrons
    I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.
    We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.
    We were all created in His image,
    But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.
    If I were to explain what you looked like,
    You would have to look like a star,
    A son of the Son..
    I would gain energy simply from the light on me.
    I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis
    I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you.

    And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
    Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
    Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
    Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
    Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
    Your heart for God will remind me of David,
    Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
    Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
    And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
    But your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
    But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,
    Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

    And you will know me, and you will find me,
    Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
    Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
    Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
    I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.

    But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
    Only if you should see fit…
    I desire Your will above mine,
    So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
    My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
    YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
    The greatest story ever known
    You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
    And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business
    Oh, I will always be Yours!
    And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning
    More than the watchmen wait for the morning…

    I will wait.

  • Rising May

    Posted: May 3, 2011, 10:19 am by Butterfly

    This week has been like a fairy tale; the prince got married and the bad guy got slain. Its like the story of the sleepin beauty where the bad guy died when the beauty found her happy ever after which means some fairy tales do come tru. We all find where the magic hides deep inside our very being.
    Life is like a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you. Every end has a start, Every decision, Every decision has a reason, and every reason has a meaning. As you dying to know what am talkin about am concludin the Kuki story. Sometym the cookie jar crumbles, dont hold on for so long you’l miss out on the excitement of the next trampoline jump. Hehe for every season there is a reason, wether they walked away or they stayed they helped make you who you are today.
    Today i choose to look at every ‘end’ as an opportunity to begin again. Fear alil less…love a lil more and magic will find its way to my door as it has the last two months. Am on a roll here, bac in the game but this tym not searchin or waitin but takin in the moment. Savorin it to the end as they say stop and smell the coffee. Cant blv how much i missed the few moments of beauty of the rising and settin sun, the dew on the morning grass. Fillin my life with multiple lil pleasures to make life bearable and intensifying the focus on the things of advancin my life. Tryin to figure what makes life so exciting and there is alot, am findin favor in the stars at night on the aisle of the bowlin alleys, on the taste of the sweet tasting chocolates and chicken wings. The freshy ground coffee the lovely lilies that sit on my bedroom window.
    Id been missing alot hldin on to pain, misery, missin out on the amazing things and now i have gentle spirit, am being a source of joy and happines to those around me (well with my amount of mathare madnes). I desire to love others with more than my words, keepin humble and meek, being content and self control to know what to accept and what to say no. Let me give it all so tht there is nothing left.
    Thats my two cents for now tht from the dusty mirky waters and mud i rise this lovely may, to pick up from whee i left, with a racing wild spirit willin to take the fight to the next level. :*

  • Tearstreaked butterfly

    Posted: February 26, 2011, 12:22 pm by Butterfly

    Today i woke up and my face my tear stained, my heart hurt like hell. Wah! Heartbreaks are real, wether its u losin a friend, the end of a relationship, the power of betrayal whichever it hurts jus the same.
    My heartbreak streams from a broken friendship, one i wld go bac in tym jus to fix so i cld gt out of automode. Its been a mnth since he said goodbye and gave me terms n conditions to our frndshp but thts the same as i dnt wnt to b ur frnd or il talk to you when it deems fit to b ur frnd or when i need ur frndshp.
    Being in the spot am in is killin me when i have to go to my twitter n fb accounts n c ur updates n tweets and i rili want to say smthn or wish u a lovely day but then i have to procastinate on the repercussion of tht action n hold myself bac. When i try ptn u out of my mind but its like askin me nt to wake up or whn i cn c u bt am afraid of u seein me when we in the same plc so i have to play hide and seek or look for a damned reason jus to gt away from tht plc.
    This is hard for real, rili hard but u wldnt knw cz u nt in my shoes and cz u see me smile via my accs and tryin to play it safe with my words. Am so limited its like a caged eagle in a parrot cage.
    Nway so i woke up with tears in my face and my pillow wet. Am not sure hw long i was cryin in my slip but i know my throat was dry, nose stuffed and chest felt hollow.
    Thts hw much i miss our frndshp tht i actually subconsciously cried in my sleep. You must have bn special or am jus too damned to not find a way to lock u out of my heart. Cant hate u, uv never gvn me a reason to n if u did id still rem the good memories i hv of u and still love u still. Its a page, a chapter, a book. I miss you is all i know for now.

  • Missing Kuki ;(

    Posted: February 7, 2011, 11:47 am by Butterfly

    For the houses haunted and the ones with things missing.We go looking for what went missing.
    That person that you used to call priceless; where did they go or
    am i that easily replaced

    I wonder, i wish i didn’t wonder but i wonder. And especially today.

    And the lies i aim to tell myself to keep myself from losin all thts left inside me (tht you jus lost your way home or that ul walk thru that door jus one last tym) . I whisper on repeat. I know my dreams, i know my fears and tht was one of my biggest fear to lose you and who said “often we meet our destiny on the road we take to avoid it”( am not likin kung fu panda right now) or “all good things must always come to an end” (not this one please, give me jus this one piece of happiness). The stolen things, they steal us. Steal us from my happiness, steal my days, even aim to steal the sun from underneath my feet.

    But for that person i said the most amazing things, i say they saw me as i was special and i thought (certainly i need to stop thinkin oz when i start thinkin everything goes all wrong) we were building something and it was priceless to me for i thought i mattered to them. How could they call it cheap and walk away. I mean they were supposed to run after me, calm my nerves down as they always did ;(

    And my phones would buzz all day with mass messages tht brought the sunshine in me and we would trade all of them for a moment with that missing ………

    Or maybe to forget like in Eternal Sunshine could someone just erase it
    I feel haunted today. I feel overwhelmed by questions and pain.

    Nobody gets to name you. You are not forgettable. You are not replaceable, Kuki.

    For now i know tht i am not the only one with things missing. Not the only house haunted.

  • From the ashes…

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 10:39 am by Butterfly

    My right hand holds matches,
    my left holds my past,
    I hope the wind catches,
    and burns it down fast,
    I’m gonna step into the fire,
    with my failures and my shame,
    and wave good-bye to yesterday,
    as I dance among the flames,
    so don’t try to save me now,
    let the walls of my world all burn down,
    just stand back and wait till the smoke finally passes,
    and I will rise,
    from the ashes,
    for all that i’m losing, much more will i gain,
    the hard part is choosing,
    to change what needs changed,
    and my step will be much lighter,
    with these demons off my chest,
    I’m born a better spirit,
    and lay the old to rest
    so don’t try to save me now,
    let the walls of my world all burn down,
    just stand back and wait till the smoke finally passes,
    and i will rise
    from the ashes,
    and i’ll walk away stronger,
    I will be flyin,
    higher and truer
    than i’ve flown before,
    my right hand holds matches,
    my left holds my past,
    i hope the wind catches,
    and burns it down fast.

  • phoenix rising…

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 10:33 am by Butterfly

    I have concluded that I dont need to prove myself to anyone in this world, I will decide what is right or wrong for me, it is not up to others to decide. You are your own authority. I agree that the past makes you who you are, but I have a different view on what that means to me. And as said, we all decide what to believe or not to believe as their personal truth. I feel we should not have shame over past deeds, they really do have a purpose in getting us this far on our journey, as I see it. How could I help others if I have not been in there situtations in which they struggle, to know what it is like and how I survived, of how I have no regrets even though society would say that I should? Kicking myself in the *** for putting up, like you with and ignoring what someone close does, giving them chance after chance, though deep down you felt like crap for knowing and doing nothing that would bring you peace, that they were poisoning you and your mind. I fault myself for that and the lesson has finally been learned for me, that no one but you has your best interests as a priority. We need to throw out the people that poison us with making us feel like we are losers. Sometimes we have blind faith in others and now I know not to do that anymore, help those who want to be helped, but some you just got to walk away, if for no other reason than the person has you stressed out to the max

  • i will rise…

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 10:30 am by Butterfly

    I always say the past makes you who you are. And what you do now will effect your future. I can’t say whether I’m such a big idiot or jackass for the decisions that I’ve made that are affecting me right now as I am typing this down. They are pretty humiliating to admit and I have only admit that to my closest friends. Not even my family knows. Lets just say I am letting some people screw me over big….well, just one person actually. I have fallen for lies over and over again and have been betrayed keeping me at the bottom. And even though this is happening, I know that one day I will be on top and not having to worry about any of this because all the work that I have been doing will finally pay off in the end.
    I know that life isn’t fair to a lot of good people and that it seems like the bad ones get it all right in front of us. My mom says that its just a test from God. D I would have loved to laugh in her face but I knew deep inside that she was right. I have nothing right now and I am nothing, but one day I’ll be able to show that I am productive in this world and that I can prove I am worthy to be here. I keep faith in myself and that is what pushes me forward!

  • crossroad

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 10:12 am by Butterfly

    Another crossroad behind me. I know the approximate direction I’m heading to, but I have no idea when I’ll arrive to the next crossroad or what choices I will have when I get there. It would be awful to know exactly where I’ll end up and when. It would feel like being trapped inside a train that has no brakes. I don’t know about you, but I think I’ll take a detour. My mind is tingling when I think about all the possible choices that it might give me.

  • Ends with…..CHANGE

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 10:02 am by Butterfly

    I know there is change in the air. I can feel it. I can taste it. I am soooo frustrated because it’s around the corner but I can’t grab it yet. I want it to come now. I feel I’m ready for it, but, for some reason I still have to wait. Waiting however is killing me inside. It’s very draining on me. I used to be able to see the next step, but this time I’m in the dark and that’s scary and nerve racking. Sometimes, I think I’m going crazy because I can’t seem to keep myself together. I used to be considered as a well balanced woman. Not overly emotional, pretty sensible, intelligent and diplomatic. I’m not like that anymore. I, think that at least. I’ve actually been getting daring and mouthy at times. I’m tired of being walked all over, and the only way to change that is to stand up for myself, because I don’t have anybody in my life that will do that for me. I don’t have somebody who has my back, even though I have had many people’s back’s. I’m in a place in my life that I don’t like being in. I need a change, I want a change, I deserve a change.

    How does this part of my story end? I think it ends with a huge change. Not just a new chapter, but a new book all together. I have people who have said that I don’t belong here. They were not being harsh, just making a statement that I’m different than everyone else and I belong somewhere else. I thought that was weird at the moment, now, I think that they were right. Once upon a time I loved being there, I couldn’t stay away. Now, however I need to be away from there. It was once my home, and in ways it will always be that, but, I need to find a new home.

    So, how does it end? Change. Change is good, change is inevitable, change is needed, change is desired. It just doesn’t always come when you want it. I need to try to remember to breath and wait for it, and to be ready for when it happens. I am scared about change. I cry about it. Hopefully the change will bring along those I love and care for, for I do not want to go there alone, but I will if I have to. Maybe, the change will bring new and interesting people in my life. That is the part that I am scared about. That is “I don’t know how this story ends”.

  • Life goes one…..

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 9:56 am by Butterfly

    History keeps being made, day in and day out, and life continues to go on (at least for now). I’m only twenty-two years old, I’m still writing my life story, my life experiences, living out my goals, and playing my life’s part.

    I don’t know if I’ll have someone to carry on my legacy, to write how my story ends, or to fill in the blanks that leave you guessing. My life is a mystery, no one knows why I do what I do or if they can even explain why I feel the need to keep doing it.

    I’ve always been misunderstood even by the people who have or was supposed to know me best. It’s hard to explain the last sentence but it’s true. My mother and I have never been close because she could never get inside my brain (although she has tried), my bestfriend wants me to confide my deepest thoughts and why I fail to see him as my counselour (but even he feels a disconnect), and the list just goes on. My bestfriend and I are great together, we agree on a lot of topics, we have fun together, but when I say or do something that I feel, he finds a way to put ash on my fire or criticize it to make me feel wrong about myself.

    I don’t want to be a mystery, but I am. The only place that I can truly be myself is here because there are so many other people that fit into my world or my way of thinking. There just doesn’t seem enough time in the world to explain who I am and why I am what I am or why I feel the way I do. Even here, I find that I am saving the best stories for last, and that they’ll never be told or completed.

    I feel that my stories won’t be told or completed is because no one knows me, what I want, what I love, what I hate, why I love it or them, why I hate it, what I need, why I need it, etc. I just want to write my whole story, pour out my soul, have someone feel my emotions, have someone feel my soul, have someone understand my being, and not be judged or questioned.

  • Lightning in a bottle

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 9:46 am by Butterfly

    Of the things that can be said of me – it can certainly be said that I have a strong personality. A great line under my Aries Rising says that faint heart never won Aries. I never rule anything out but I do have a strong personality, it is part of the package of Scorpio Moon and Aries Sun. Even from my teen years, whether I was running on high octane or off in my own imaginary world – people felt my personality. They felt the strength of my personality and have been responding to that ever since. It never fails to leave a mark, arguably a permanent one for no matter how long I have been away from places I used to frequent – everyone remembers me. They remember my energy, my passion, my pride and my ‘I-did-it-my-way-because-it-just-feels-right’ attitude. Freely will I admit that I often blame that on television but I cannot really go using that as an excuse for I was lightning in a bottle almost right out of the womb.

    Yet just because I am a strong, dominant personality doesn’t mean that I am to be feared for my caring and my passion to help others burns as hot as my occasional righteous wrath. Rather my strong personality just means you have to be fearless and unafraid to stand your ground around me and be heard. You have to stand up and step up, refuse to be overlooked for history has often indicated that I am inclined to overlook the meek.

  • it’s enough

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 9:44 am by Butterfly

    I Was not popular growing up. Kids made my life miserable, and probably contributed to some of my social anxieties. I prevailed. I grew up made friends, not rally ones I’m super close with but good friends. I have also had romantic relationships. Horrible ones. I kept going because since I was a little girl I believed there was some one wonderful and special out there waiting for me. I just don’t think I am one of those people that finds the love of their life. I hoped I have been cheated on, ignored, insulted, strung along, robbed,, and punished for the wrong doings of other women. I feel too much with my heart to be perfectly honest. I play hard, but I’m soft. I just can’t go through this any more. I officially throw my towel in!

  • I hate this strong personality

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 9:38 am by Butterfly

    My strong personality. I feel weak and broken. The perception is already out there and I truly feel defeated. I am so passionate about the things I do and it is working against me. I am working against myself. I am too trusting, I say what I mean and tend to think others are doing the same – they are not. I often miss the game of playing personalities and get played. Maybe I am like the child that says what they see not realizing there are egos in the room. Egos that are so easily bruised. I no longer want this strong personality

  • some people are intimidated…;(

    Posted: February 5, 2011, 9:35 am by Butterfly

    I could never figure it out, I wondered why many took a protective stance to me, deep inside I am this sensitive teddy bear that cries at the silliest things, but get me in the arena about something I believe in and watch out, but I just stand up is all, I use to be so afraid to speak my mind, I would go blank when put on the spot, but I guess that is why old folk get so intense so quick, man they just sick of the crap now days!! And I don’t blame them. I have developed a strong spirit. Yet it is filled with love, kindness, compassion, tolerance and understanding. So stand with me, be strong, yet kind.

  • Each one leaves something different from…

    Posted: February 4, 2011, 3:20 pm by Butterfly

    There are those who touch your being so gently, that on the sand of your life, the only footprints to be seen are your own.

    Others trample and stomp so hard, they leave crushed deep footprints, and sand strewn everywhere, and all you can do is wait helplessly for the ocean of time to come and wash them away.

    Then there are those who leave a lasting print, so that when you turn around to survey your journey, there beside your own footprints are someones elses prints right alongside them.

    For every mark left, your life has been touched for better or worse. I am grateful for all of them as each one brought something important. I am most grateful for the ones I can look back on and smile about, their names and faces may have long faded but not their footprints right there along side mine.

  • Hope there is …..

    Posted: February 4, 2011, 3:20 pm by Butterfly

    After years and years of struggling with being single and dating the wrong men. Getting angry and bitter. I had given up on finding someone special…almost. Its so funny what people say that “when you least expect it.” I always laughed at that statement, thinking that it wouldnt apply to me. Little did I know, that it absolutely did. I had once again swore off dating…and low and behold…I was being approached constantly after. I wasnt by any means interested..and had even dated against my better judgement. Until recently, when I met a man that changed my mind and my views. I had one amazing brunch with him. He showed me that there is hope out there, and that I shouldnt give up. After spending minimal amount of time with him…(hoping that it will turn into something wonderful in the future)…I know that even if things dont work out between us, we were sent to each other for a purpose. And I will always be grateful for that!

  • for a moment…

    Posted: February 4, 2011, 3:06 pm by Butterfly

    I believe I know the meaning of life. I believe we are all here on this earth together to touch each other in one little way or another, to teach each other, or comfort each other, to test each other, or force each other to take a look at ourselves and make some kind of a change. Every little interaction we have with one another has an effect, even if it seems small and meaningless at the time. I have had thousands of people touching my life in serious ways, even if they were only there for a split second smiling at me when I had tears in my eyes. I may not remember their faces or I may have never heard their names, but for that minute moment that they were there, and I was there, they did or said something that, all compiled, makes me who I am today. Sound confusing?(ul discover someday) For a moment, for a lesson, or for a lifetime, everyone you meet comes to you for a greater purpose

  • my november rain

    Posted: January 28, 2011, 12:03 pm by Butterfly

    The shadow that is forever to be cast, is over my heart again, but i will find some light for which to warm to.

    My salty rains they fall, the trails they leave behind are just daily reminders of what is and what will never be.

    A process that began so many evolutions whence and shall move forward until a time specific to one thing only, the unknown.

    If my weakness were a gun, i would not point it at you and fire, nor anyone else would i consort this to.

    Your entire being reflects only brightly on my still black waters, this and all the days into nights and again, as it will always be.

    Time, like sand, may fall between my skeletal fingers, but i long to feel it’s grit as softly, like a whisper from a butterfly to my naked ear.

    I will embrace you, oh Father of all the moments, but i do not have to love thee.

    My rains will fall this November as they have before, is it willed or perhaps chosen? it is not, it just is

  • divine moments

    Posted: January 28, 2011, 11:57 am by Butterfly

    Feelings…
    Written on my body,
    Printed from experiences, tiny of decency
    immersed in the emotions, wandering the intellect

    Thoughts…
    Marked in my soul
    Washed from tears, gathered from joy
    Visible to see, vulnerable to touch

    Words…
    Drew from my body, revealed in my feelings
    The lustfulness, a pure moment
    The sensuality, a sacred ritual

    Verses…
    Painted on my being, of a bold brush
    Lines of burning desires, insane pleasures
    Defining pure emotions, an infinite dream

    Paths…
    Created between the connection of souls
    Describing passion, love and longing
    Born in my mind, written from my heart

  • Reality, love, lust and death

    Posted: January 15, 2011, 2:05 pm by Butterfly

    On the onset of this post i knew what i really wanted to write but as the moment wld have heard it iv had to include everything goin on around me.
    So jus this week sat my last paper which i hadn’t even read for but thanks to the latest technology and softcopy notes i pulled everything from the net but stil wont get an A jus coz.
    Same week got to go to Thika. Tht lil town has grown but am very concerned about the wc latrine (this is a wc which looks like a latrine and when done with business u reach into a bucket n pour water) too not my class for real. I made way and ordered masala fries and gud grief i got my fries with roasted tomatoes, hohos and cabbages and carrots here and there. Knowin me i had to make a scene which i did carefully coz am not ready to b locked up in thika. So i made it to my pals place to console them. Am glad he looked not sad but o know he was hurtin jus tht he always wants to show jus how much of a man he is. Pato the (lord knows u not always strong and sometyms u nid us ur friends to be strong for u. Jus this once let go, am here to catch u and so is ur best pal. All thru i actually felt consoled coz i dnt do good when ppl are sad arnd me or mourning cz i lack the words n my voice doesnt allow for tone variation when am fln sad too.
    As i sat there i got to understand him more, am glad tht i hadn’t chosen like some campuserians to judge. His humble because his mum taught humility, there home is full of love and very welcomin and Doris (R.I.P) u brought up ur family well.
    I kept thinkin bout my life in campus, boy aint i a heroine or the centre of attention, guys always makin rumors bout me. I wld have won the queen b crown from Blair if she went to my school. I know iv had my men well chosen from the crowd. I go for the bad boy look, cute, really handsome and knows he is all tht and a bowl of rice. I love showin them off like price possessions. Dnt worry i do love them too. So word it that iv been around but funny when i confront the fools, they take to their heels as they apologise coz i talk and act like the head bitch i am. Mama taught me stand up for what u blv, take what belongs to u by force to i dnt fight for my men. I let them fight for me, so much fun seeing them go at each others necks when i wnt choose either but i love to fl like they care. Am sure this is why right now am still single (sobbin) but i do love it hangin out with who pleases me best at the tym. I mean i only buy there company if i dnt love them or if i dnt like them at all, guess the worth fln my bored tym. Stolen kisses dnt belong to them like this guy who invited me to his plc jana and thinks il kiss him. Dude i wldnt even if i had a dry fast lol!
    So i love my men with abs i cn admire under the muscles shirts while i dress and undress them in my mind ( dont give me tht look even church gals have flns jus like some ati down play them and hate on ppl like me who speak up this things and emotions n next u see them they spottin extended stomachs. Not tht they added weight but u know wht i mean and then they produce offsprings). Damn some bodies. Then there are this dudes i love huggin, what there hugs drive me insane no wonder sometyms i have crazy thots ( unspoken) -hey you stop judgin me am real. Before i drift off too far il say this week has so far been great and as i was sayin today we lay Pato’s mum to rest and so my travels have led me to Nyeri. This small town is where i once grew up in and for real its never changed 15years later. A pang of sadness hits me as we sing this kyuk song thi ino ti yakwa cz am reminded this world is not my own. Il have to leave it some day but if i do leave cry or weep not for me. Celebrate my life and i want a very non conventional one. I want mine to look like a weddin, burry me quick tho am still thinkin tht i may have myself cremated jus to save tym and then pliz make a toast with wine and expensive wine ( to my church pals i also have pals who aint saved, u giys can do ribena juice or strawberry juice) let everyone say what i meant to them and how i touched their lives. Those who have nothing gud to say id be shocked if u came jus to make sure am gone for sure. So its tym to lay the wreaths and i have to sign out now. Mad love fam cont stayin tuned

  • Happy new year, Am startin to ...

    Posted: January 8, 2011, 6:01 pm by Butterfly

    Happy new year,
    Am startin to wonder whats really exciting about this year. Two heartbreaks on the first week or is it finally graduatin highest in my class after my finals this week. Ooops maybe it will be me havin this aptitude test on monday. Certainly i know i have alot on my ind and nothing happy about my new year yet. Things will take shape. In jus the first week of 2011 i know tht thi year is rili messed u and it will be a ‘butterfly grwin up party’. clearly i do think that i need to have alot of ice cream,and well stuff more teddy bears it goin to be a long yera.
    Anyway team Muts lets jus say is a flop, i mean he sounds like a good thing and well everything about it was awesome but now when i come to think about it, he’d jus have been a major distraction in my life. I donr think i cn be domesticated not by the look of things anyway. I love my eggs, well browned and crispsy while he likes his well runny (too messy). I hate the gym, he loves the gym. I hate laundry but i still do it and he loves a washin machine 9 i lady who do his dirty jeans) thats why i have hired a laundry lady who comes in every wknd to do the laundry. I love cookin but i wouldnt mind afew nights out and he loves all his meals home made. Tuff luck hun, maybe ul land tht lady who is a stay at home gal cz il still love nights out with my gals or my man.
    Then the jerk who when the rubber hits the road he clearly jus runs. I dont play catch me if you can kinda games. Those i reserve for my kids when they run around in my compound. You i have less resect for. Men who play there women aint on my bad boy priority list. I love my bad boys lokin like they can break a heart when they really dnt break them.
    So thats my first week of january 2011 and i think i cld write a tv soap opera drama about it. XOXO!

  • i wont judge..

    Posted: December 10, 2010, 9:23 pm by Butterfly

    Which is odd, because I come from a family of judges and lawyers…
    But, being a child of alkies has taught me that people are not gods. We aren’t perfect, we aren’t role models or any such ****, even when we try to be. We are just humans. We make mistakes. We are born to do so.
    It is fine to point fingers if you don’t care about people. One entire side of my family enjoyed this activity. They pointed fingers at the man who gave me life, part of himself, and said “You are bad! You are wrong! You are evil! We hate you!”. How could I see that and agree that this was the right thing to do?? How could I see such hypocrisy and want to do it too?? I couldn’t. I didn’t. That imperfect being was someone I loved. The very fact that he was less than angelic made me love him all the more.
    We all have our crosses to bear. We all have our various imperfections. I don’t judge anyone. Towards that end lies madness. Who am I to judge you? Not god, not perfect. I’m just a damaged as the rest of you. Moreso. I even have secrets I hide from myself.
    No wonder I don’t want to judge. You judge me at your peril. There are things in here that you wouldn’t much like.

  • Yes i will, but not on purpose…

    Posted: December 10, 2010, 8:27 pm by Butterfly

    I find it highly admirable for individuals to make the effort to not judge others, but I also find it very unlikely that most people who make such an attempt are successful. I judge people all the time, and I’m sure you do too, it is egoic nature to judge another and good or bad we all do it. Judgment is a form of interpretation and interpretation itself is subjective, you cannot be a conscious human being without having your own interpretation of the world around you, and this includes the people around you as well. So I cannot say “I won’t judge you” because that is a lie, but I can say that I will make an attempt to not pre judge you or condemn you based on my own interpretations of who you are. I don’t judge people based on things like race, sex, or even IQ, but I will judge you based on the content of your character, and that is something we all should be judged upon…..

  • Echoes

    Posted: December 10, 2010, 6:50 pm by Butterfly

    Beyond
    where the freeways
    become simple black
    ribbons laid in
    calm admittance,
    where the cool
    air is prescribed
    for loneliness,
    Beyond the last buildings,
    Past the houses put in lines
    Where beauty and stillness
    lie in wait
    for love and mountains
    to collide
    for streams and pine trees
    to laugh together
    in silent rushes
    of sound
    beyond
    where you lie me down
    where I am known
    to a place of sunsets and hills
    and glittering clouds
    laid upon wind, for
    voices to descend from the
    smallest creek to your eyes,
    for my heart to disappear from my body, to yours,
    for people to wonder who we are:
    these strangers with smiling lips and holding hands.
    For everything to be silent as a hill and
    the sunlight to become our home.

  • Dont you hate it when…

    Posted: December 10, 2010, 5:48 pm by Butterfly

    …you are cruising along in a good mood for a change, or excited about something, and someone who just can’t help being negative, has to jump in with a stupid or nasty comment? When it is impossible to just live in the sunshine and white puffy clouds for the day, because someone always has the rain view and has to bring the thunderheads to the parade, because “it is practical, and realistic”.

    Ok….go suck lemons and leave me to my smiling. Stop bursting every bubble of happiness or joy or contentment with negativity. Just freaking STOP IT! Life is too short to always find the thorns….never appreciating the rose.

    ~~~~
    Wow… I had another story for this, but see I already pretty much wrote it. I was having a nice day. Doing fun Christmassy things, etc. Then the dark cloud just had to drift in and spoil my mood with a stupid, negative comment about something I did that I was happy about…. what else is new? :-/

  • friendships

    Posted: December 10, 2010, 5:44 pm by Butterfly

    True friendship is difficult to find…both in real life and online…you start building a friendship with someone and suddenly they seem to drift off – they lose interest…perhaps i expect too much but for me friendship isn’t something you can just walk away from – the people i have trusted are friends to me and friends are not disposable…unfortunately I seem to be to some of them.

    Friendship takes work – you have to be willing to face difficult issues and talk about things on occasion that both of you would rather not discuss…but if there is a problem in the friendship then that is what you have to do. I don’t buy into this notion that if you have a problem with a friend you just cut all contact – or worse still just act completely disinterested. That is disrespectful to someone you once respected and cared enough about to call a friend…and if they were good enough in the past to be a friend then they deserve your honesty in the present.

    To me friends are like family…if a friend upsets me then i know that we will just have to work through it because they will be in my life always…i am not about to walk away because we have had a disagreement. That is, to me, true friendship.

    In times of difficulty your friends are there for you – they make you laugh, they cry with you and they listen – they expect nothing in return but know that you will be there for them in the same way when they need it. They understand you and accept you as you are…true friendship is seen with the heart, not with the eyes.

  • another goodbye

    Posted: November 26, 2010, 1:20 am by Butterfly

    So many times iv said goodbye, some hurt, some i dint even care. Today i sit in bed n cry. It hurts to say goodbye to him. It ws a joke, i dint knw he’d take it seriously n nw here i am sayin goodbye.

  • thinkin aloud

    Posted: November 11, 2010, 5:53 pm by Butterfly

    i may everyday wake up the happy go lucky kinda gal but am not lying about who i am inside. Am being too real tho and it sucks but aint bothered. Attitude isnt walkin as if u rule the world but walkin with your head held high and not carin about who rules the world cz i know God rules and no one else. See thing is it doesnt matter how much of the world u own, who u command or who kneels by ur side or who runs at your beck and call. All this is vanity, when ur life flashs infront of ur life it wnt matter how much you earn, own or give out it will be what you did with ur talents. I want to exhaust my gifts and talents so that il have used all i have. I sound like a broken record but i jus speak for my thoights and jus cz its the lil voices in my mind that are loudest.
    Related news is that am lovin my new house and everything about it. It may not have much but its mine and thats enough

  • The fight

    Posted: November 9, 2010, 7:26 am by Butterfly

    mmh am sad ( torn btn two or three choices. The man in the pink sweater aint a straight path. I cnt read his thoughts. Each penguin has a song in their heart mine’s a cry.
    How do i tell him that i like him cz i do? How do i stop my wild heart? Sometimes i think i chase after things i know i can never have jus cz i know i cnt have but then end up hurt.
    Sometimes his sweet like candy coat swirls for christmas, other times his mean n grouchy makes me want to cry. Bottomline conflictin emotions. I wish i knew what to do but am already a mile away. Hurtin myself n savin him the stress.
    Today i run, run away from what i think i feel n what my heart feels. Its healin tym. Il stay around long enoung but someday il get tired of waitin n go cz its takin you time to put ur act together. Needless to say my heart was in the rest place so was my mind but now my patience has run out. To like but failure to launch, i lay my heart out n it was shattered.

  • Hot saucy, delicate sauce

    Posted: November 2, 2010, 12:44 pm by Butterfly

    Haha! Yeah this is funny cz only i understand this circus am caught up in. On normal occassions id b up n down tryin to get the perfect outfit to fit my shoes n how am feelin. Today its not clothes but men. Id promised myself that at my 12th birthday id quit waitin for the prince charmin look alike frog prince to whisk me away. As fate had it things like love n men haven’t been evasive jus me who has bn choosy n honestly loved the venture then when i was done, the skies finally opened. The finest, exqyisite handsome men appeared, ooh my, my dreams being realised. First stood him, id b certain his series was over but here he is confident this time his got it right. Dead give away honey u dint mean a single word coz when u say the truth u dont do it with a straight face, mmh honey i cld fall 4 ur lie n play u around but aint no spare part. Then there is italiano, age is jus perfect, but how do u talk amazing rubbish on a first meetin. Abeg a pardon sir mr.ceo u may have the account but not the manners. Might take u on the shoppin list, a gal like me loves diamonds-they for ever (dont i miss watchin Munya soo much n Tatiana as well as Utilicious Uti n Lerato. They certainly wld make lovely couples unlike our Sheila. Gal had me but lost me somewhere when she came back. Am certainly hopin they never date, she is too made up, Uti dnt get fooled by the looks.) where was , mr.moneybank n my shoppIn. Then il skip to the high school heart throb, R pliz u dont cut the pix yet, got someonr better in mind, his head strong, commands respect, inniative, sensitive (am gloating aint i). Okay hid jus my shoppin list wish and he listens. Mmmmh! They rest of the 4 left are okay tho one aint sensitive n the other lacks taste…okay dnt yell they seem to not interest me that much tho i like them

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