Thanks Pastor M for invading my comfort zone. No apologies required or expected though.
Early in January my lifegroup challenged me to stay off a relationship, even a hint of one, for 6 months.I declined feeling it was too long. Yesterday I made a commitment to stay off relationships until December. Still convinced it’s too long. That time fades against the mess I’ve left in my wake.I’ve sponsored an abortion, reneged on another, two others had miscarriages and in all of them disillusioned women was the result.
Recently, I went through another breakup.This one, i even heard the specific instruction not to mess with her. She came to Mavuno a couple of times, liked it but ‘us’ messed it. With that, I’m also left filled with regret, vengefulness and guilt.
Resolutions and new commitments to reforms are quickly forgotten when another one needing rescuing shows up. And it always looks like the one. Yet it ends up in a way that has become predictable to all my close pals and totally blind to me.
I’m taking on this commitment with the awareness that it’s not going to be easy.