Archive for December, 2003
M E N T A L A C R O B A T I C S
PERSON OF THE YEAR AWARD 2003
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information until c. April 2003. A.K.A Comical Ali.
A ridiculous man for a ridiculous war in ridiculous times on a ridiculous planet.
Here are some of the gems he unleashed for us:
“There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!”
“My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all”
“Our initial assessment is that they will all die”
“I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad.”
“Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly.”
“Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected.”
“We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these mercenaries in a crematorium.”
“Please, please! The Americans are relying on what I called yesterday a desperate and stupid method.”
Finally as American tanks were rolling into Baghdad behind him:
“We are in control! We are in control! ”
Get your own vintage
Comical Ali T-shirts
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Sunday, December 28th, 2003 at 6:50 AM
As is the tradition at this time of year I wish you a:
Afrikander: Een Plesierige Kerfees
Amharic (Ethiopia) Melkam Genna
Arabic: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Argentine: Felices Pasquas Y Felices ano Nuevo
Armenian: Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand
Assyrian: eidukh havee brikha
Azeri: Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun
Basque: Zorionak eta Urte Berri On!
Bohemian: Vesele Vanoce
Brazilian: Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo
Breton: Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat
Bulgarian: Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
Catalan: Bon Nadal i un Bon Any Nou!
Chile: Feliz Navidad
Chinese: (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
(Catonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan’Gung Haw Sun
Cornish: Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth
Cree: Mitho Makosi Kesikansi
Croatian: Sretan Bozic
Czech: Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
Danish: Glædelig Jul
Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast
English: Merry Christmas
Eskimo: (inupik) Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!
Esperanto: Gajan Kristnaskon
Estonian: Ruumsaid juulup|hi
Faeroese: Gledhilig jol og eydnurikt nyggjar!
Farsi: Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad
Finnish: Hyvaa joulua
French: Joyeux Noel
Frisian: Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!
Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ùr!
German: Froehliche Weihnachten
Greek: Kala Christouyenna!
Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka
Hebrew: Mo’adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
Hindi: Shub Naya Baras
Flemish: Zalig Kerstfeest en Gelukkig nieuw jaar
Hausa: Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara!
Hawaian: Mele Kalikimaka ame Hauoli Makahiki Hou!
Hungarian: Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket
Icelandic: Gledileg Jol
Indonesian: Selamat Hari Natal
Iraqi: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
Irish: Nollaig Shona Dhuit, or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat
Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie
Japanese: Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha
Latin: Natale hilare et Annum Faustum!
Latvian: Prieci’gus Ziemsve’tkus un Laimi’gu Jauno Gadu!
Lithuanian: Linksmu Kaledu
Macedonian: Sreken Bozhik
Maltese: LL Milied Lt-tajjeb
Manx: Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa
Maori: Meri Kirihimete
Marathi: Shub Naya Varsh
Navajo: Merry Keshmish
Norwegian: God Jul, or Gledelig Jul
Pennsylvania German: En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr!
Polish: Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia or Wesolych Swiat
Portuguese: Boas Festas
Rapa-Nui: Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua
Romanche: (sursilvan dialect): Legreivlas fiastas da Nadal e bien niev onn!
Rumanian: Sarbatori vesele
Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
Samoan: La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Serbian: Hristos se rodi
Slovakian: Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce
Sami: Buorrit Juovllat
Samoan: La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Scots Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil huibh
Serb-Croatian: Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina
Serbian: Hristos se rodi.
Singhalese: Subha nath thalak
Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa
Slovak: Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok
Slovene: Vesele Bozicne. Screcno Novo Leto
Spanish: Feliz Navidad
Swedish: God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År
Tagalog: Maligayamg Pasko. Masaganang Bagong Taon
Tami: Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal
Trukeese: (Micronesian) Neekiriisimas annim oo iyer seefe feyiyeech!
Thai: Sawadee Pee Mai
Turkish: Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
Ukrainian: Srozhdestvom Kristovym
Urdu: Naya Saal Mubarak Ho
Vietnamese: Chung Mung Giang Sinh
Welsh: Nadolig Llawen
Yugoslavian: Cestitamo Bozic
Yoruba: E ku odun, e ku iye’dun!
Thanks to the good people at Thank You Ink
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Wednesday, December 24th, 2003 at 12:34 PM
I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks back and she mentioned that this site needs an editor because my spelling, grammar and punctuation were pathetic. With that in mind I have added Lynne Truss’ book Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation to my wishlist should you agree with my friend and want things to improve. I know what you are thinking? Why don’t I get my friend to buy the book for me seeing as she started this hullabaloo in the first place? Well am still trying to find a way to ask her in the meantime why dont you buy it for me! As it is the festive season ya’ll might want to look at the Show Love page on this site.
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Monday, December 22nd, 2003 at 1:48 AM
Kibaki’s government has been looking very cosy with the past regime but that may all change as a six month investigation, coordinated by John Githongo the Permanent Secretary for Governance and Ethics, and run by investigative group Kroll has tracked ONE BILLION US dollars of money stolen from Kenyans to accounts in big-name banks, and shares in London hotels. Of course finding the money is not the same as recovering it as Gladwell Odieno, Executive Director of Transparency International Kenya, told
BBC News Online.
There is no way that 4 billion US dollars can find their way through the UK banking system without raising eyebrows yet nothing was done to stop and trace the money. Now how in the blazes did these thieves who called themselves our leaders manage to launder 4 billion dollars? Because they can. No matter what Blair says about ethical foreign policy if there is money to be made ethics are quietly put to one side. Right now Blair is banging on about how he wished Mugabe could go, meanwhile hundreds of British companies, big big companies are making lots and lots of money in Zimbabwe with the Britsh governement’s blessing. Instead of cancelling a cricket tour why not cancel some of these contracts? Instead they choose to lecture us on how Africa needs transparency. Of course we do, but some help would nice guys.
Anyway back to Kenya it is good to see Githongo and his team taking the fight to the big boys. As the Financial Times states:
In contrast to actions by other African countries against alleged corrupt activity under past governments, Kenya’s efforts to recover state funds appear to target members of the former president’s entourage as much as Mr Moi himself.
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Thursday, December 18th, 2003 at 6:32 PM
In my post on the AllAfrica’s African weblogs list I forgot to mention Ethan Zuckerman and the good people at Geekcorps, and the Berkman Center for Internet and Society who are assisting AllAfrica
in this venture. Just giving credit where credit is due! Ethan has his own weblog have a look. You should also check out BlogAfrica written by Akwe Amosu who got this ball rolling. If you haven’t registered your weblog, stop stalling and start moving! (Yes that means you odobea and bubu!)
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Thursday, December 18th, 2003 at 5:58 PM
It is a sign of the times we live in that the anonymous diary of a call centre manager and the anonymous diary of a hooker won the Guardian’s best British blog award. They are very well written and are accurate protrayals of life in 21st century Britain. The call centre manager one makes me break out in a cold sweat at bad bad memories! I have never quite recovered and I still fear phone headsets today. Check out the rest of the winners over at The Guardian.
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Thursday, December 18th, 2003 at 5:24 PM
What is impressive is not that this guy chooses to wear a name tag everyday but that he has managed to make a career out of it. Getting paid to wear a nametag, the world is going mad! If you need further proof check out this other guy who wears a new t shirt with a different phrase everyday. Why? Because he can that’s why! [via Aderemi's Notebook]
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Thursday, December 18th, 2003 at 4:54 PM
Meanwhile Kibaki has a second wife? Just when you think you know someone they spring a surprise on you eh?! Running the country is probably easier than running his household!
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Saturday, December 13th, 2003 at 10:14 PM
Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. After arresting a minister, members of parliament and other “prominent businessmen” for kerb crawling the good police of Kenya released them without charge a few hours later. Why? “To save them, their families and the Government from embarrassment.” Of course the prostitutes were not so lucky and were banged away for four days. It does not matter who you are. If you do not want to do the time then do not do the time. Why were the bigwigs released and the prostitutes not? The papers should name and shame these guys immediately.
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Saturday, December 13th, 2003 at 10:10 PM
What is all the fuss about? Rumsfeld’s now infamous “known unknowns and unknown unknowns” speech :
Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don’t know we don’t know.
makes perfect sense. Mark Steyn agrees. I do not think it deserved the Golden Bull Award presented annually by the Plain English Campaign for the year’s worst example of gobbledygook. In fact the only thing you can give Rumsfeld credit for is that he does not mince his words. He says it as he thinks it is regardless of the consequences. Not a very clever tactic for a politician and maybe more than a little arrogant but brutally honest none the less.
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Tuesday, December 9th, 2003 at 5:31 PM
There’s no denying that a resolution of the Israeli-Palestine conflict would drain much poison from the Arab view of the West. But you can’t leap from there to the conclusion that al-Qaeda terrorists would then become peace-lovers. The purposes of these terrorists are best served by the continuation of that conflict.
Andrew Rawnsley breaks it down.
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Sunday, December 7th, 2003 at 7:39 PM
Life is so predictable these days.
Zimbabwe is barred from the commonwealth conference which leads to the Zimbabwe question dominating the agenda which leads to Mugabe playing the “colonial mentality” card while threatening to withdraw from the organisation all together.
Boring!
In an interesting article Amnesty International wonders why the Commonwealth picks on Mugabe when there are so many rouges in its gallery.
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Sunday, December 7th, 2003 at 7:20 PM
