Archive for February, 2005
I’ve been henging at the wrong places if the reaction to my answers to the Kenyan Blog meme is anything to go by. Apparently there are “several places” in Nairobi where you can engage in a lil slap and tickle in the parking lot without interruptions from overzealous watchis. One person even went as far as to claim they have never been challenged. Well I don’t believe you. I challenge you prove me wrong. Leave a comment telling of any stroke friendly parking lots and we’ll take it from there. If you are far too respectable to be associated with this post use my contact form to send me a message anonymously and I’ll post it here under my name. And no, this is not a underground attempt to start a dogging group in Kenya.
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Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005 at 1:00 AM
Dj Edu, formerly of the Homeboyz, has joined the BBC 1xtra team with a weekly slot on Wedensday nights called Destination Africa. The show is Wednesday nights from midnight till 2am [Wednesday night into Thursday morning]. If you can not stay up, do not have digital radio or are not in the UK you can catch the whole show live or whenever you want through the Destination Africa website.
Edu pays a mixture of African street music from hip hop and RnB to dancehall and drum&bass. As well as music from, and influenced by, Africa. Last Wednesday the guest in the studio was Akon. In what was a refreshing interview it was brilliant to hear Akon’s pride in Africa and African influences to his music.
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Monday, February 21st, 2005 at 11:46 PM
Developed by Mama JunkYard
Favourite Kenyan food
-
Samosa (the proper spicy pili pili ones, not the half hearted tourist ones)
Favourite Kenyan drink
- Cocopine (The coconut and pineapple concoction. Yes it is available elsewhere but it just doesn’t taste the same.)
- Picana (Mango) (Discovered this one recently, no need to give money to the Coca Cola Corporation ever again.)
Due to the conspiracy against me I refuse to give KBL any props.
Favourite Kenyan TV programme
- 9 o’clock News during election time also known as Comedy Hour
- That magician guy, Kini macho (sp?). The way he would mess up and the cover up was too much!
Top 3 Kenyan hang outs
- ADV (the infamous Adventures pub, NGUMMO WHAT)
- The one and only world renowned Florida Two Thousand
- That new joint behind the Kenchic at the Total in Hurlingham. Nice easy pub run by some Quins (I forget the name.)
Top Kenyan holiday destination
- shags (you have no option but to relax in the Ka²mega)
3 Kenyan phrases you use a lot (ati, nini, nani DO NOT count and neither does bilaz!)
- soma label
- chini ya maji
- obvious
Three things about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
- The infamous question, “Where did you go to school?” Why is this so important?
- How you are not allowed to catch strokes in your car at a heng. If you retreat back to the car for a little slap n tickle you are guaranteed to have a watchi bang on your window to ask you what you are doing.
- 10/15 years ago it was uncool to show patriotism. Now days everyone walking in town has the flag on a t-shirt/hat/pin/tie/rugby shirt/socks/glasses/mobile phone covers/ bag/etc. Now if only the government would catch up.
Three things non-Kenyans say about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go ‘hmmm’
- “Kenya. The only country in the world with more animals that people ooooooh”
(Repeated each and every time I walked into my local barbers run by Nigerians. I go elsewhere now.)
- “You Kenyans, always in a rush. Haraka haraka.”
(Tanzanians who could understand why we thought it was ridiculous to wait 30mins for chips and two sausages.)
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“You Kenyans are too casual, you never put in any effort. Even your girls.”
(A bunch of non Kenyan black students who could not understand why we would not dress up in expensive Armani gear to go to a smelly, sweaty, dark and dodgy student disco.)
Three things about Kenya/Kenyans which non-Kenyans ought to know
- We can drink more than you. In fact we can drink more than all of you put together. In fact we can drink more than all of you put together and we will still make it to that 9 o’clock lecture. Kwanza we can drink more than you, make that lecture, and beat you in that exam. This includes the Irish.
- We burn a mountain of ivory every year. If you shoot our animals we are allowed to shoot you.
- Do not stop at traffic lights after 9pm. Yes even if they are red. Just don’t do it.
Complete this sentence: I am Kenyan because…
- of the responsibility and duty I feel to the country and its wanainchi.
And finally - list 3 members of the Kenyan Blog Ring you would like to see complete this quiz
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Monday, February 21st, 2005 at 11:15 AM
Redesigned with a minimalist look. I’m sure you’ll let me know what you think. All the links should be working and everything should validate. Please let me know if you find any errors.
The monthly archives are a bit of a nightmare at the moment. I’ll deal with them after some sleep.
Update1:
- CSS is now validating properly - Thanks MamaJunkyard for pointing out some errors.
- IE layout bugs ironed out.
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Sunday, February 20th, 2005 at 5:21 AM
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimm’d;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest;
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
William Shakespeare
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Monday, February 14th, 2005 at 1:34 AM
Ok I have had it up on here [holding hand way above his mentalacrobatic head].
Someone one wake me up when these guys decide to get serious.
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Saturday, February 12th, 2005 at 5:05 PM
The World Press Photo of 2004 winners have been chosen. Although it didn’t win first prize this photo made me laugh [yes I know am mean].
This photo is tight as well.
[Via Beyond Northern Iraq]
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Friday, February 11th, 2005 at 2:07 PM
It is disgusting that the very people who have been responsible for years of mismanagement in Kenyan football are the same ones that start blaming the players when we get spanked in qualifying tournaments. Hopefully the new team at KFF will inject some integrity into the proceedings.
Big up the Kenyan rugby sevens team for winning the Bowl at the New Zealand International Sevens. Kenya snatched victory deep into stoppage time of the Bowl final against Tonga, 19-12. [Via thinker's room]
It is not surprising that the team sports which politicians are least interested in, rugby and especially cricket, are the ones where Kenya has enjoyed the most success. [World Cup semi-finalists baby!]
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Friday, February 11th, 2005 at 9:41 AM
Headline of the week:
Boring Old Gits To Wed
You gotta love the Daily Star Please note: The Royal Wedding Souvenir Issue banner.
I suggest the morning of April the 1st as more suitable for the wedding than the proposed April the 8th.
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Friday, February 11th, 2005 at 8:46 AM
Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you
If you don’t know just get the t-shirt!
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Thursday, February 10th, 2005 at 10:26 PM
Our cabinet of clowns just gets better and better. This cartoon needs to go now. [via Mshairi]
I hear FM radio talk shows were inundated with furious callers. Rightly so. Big up Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA), Coalition on Violence Against Women, The Cradle, Amnesty International who all protested loudly but where is the Kenya Womens’ Parliamentary Caucus?
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Thursday, February 10th, 2005 at 9:28 PM
Bloody hell, Mentalacrobatics is the top link on google for:
“Valentines day commercialisation” and
“valentines day commodification”
Other notable Mentalacrobatics achievements are:
Top google link for “janet boobs” [number two now]
Top google link for “jimmy gathu” [number two now]
Top google link for “obamamania” [number four now]
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Thursday, February 10th, 2005 at 2:35 PM
Two gems from somewhere on the web:
Using two kinds of soap to wash the body just complicates my life too much!
Albert Einstein [apparently]
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and couldn’t care less.
Hungarian joke [apparently]
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Thursday, February 10th, 2005 at 1:45 PM
What the hell is Foreign minister Chirau Ali Mwakwere still doing in office? After last year’s fiasco you would think that the man had learnt his lessons but no. Now he has accused the British high commissioner of drunkenness, has accused Transparency International of high-level corruption all because they both say what we all know. That corruption in Kenya is rampant. And this is the man that is meant to be our most senior diplomat. It is scary that he actually goes around the world representing us. Kick him out now.
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Wednesday, February 9th, 2005 at 6:49 AM
Kenyans do not seem to know a lot about Kroll Associates, the company retained to find Kenya’s looted billions.
Kroll Associates is the world’s foremost independent risk consulting company [in their own words] and they live up to the hype. To put it simply these are the big boys of risk consultancy and corporate investigation both worldwide and in Africa. For example, many, If not all, FTSE 100 companies will ask Kroll to investigate fully the background of anyone they intend to offer a place on their board or in senior management. “Have you Krolled him/her?” appointment managers are normally asked meaning have you asked Kroll to do a background check on him/her.
Kroll was founded in 1972 by the New York lawyer Jules B Kroll. Today it has offices in 60 countries, employs 2,500 people and is listed on the Nasdaq as worth an estimated $200m [GBP110m]. One of its largest offices is in London’s Savile Row, from where the company’s work in Europe, Africa and the Middle East is conducted
How did they find Kenya’s looted billions so quickly? Experience. These guys found former Philippines president Ferdinand Marcos secret fortune, they found the money stolen by Haitian dictator Jean-Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier, they found Saddam Hussein’s secret bank accounts, they are the ones that have been uncovering Osama bin Laden’s secret bank accounts which are being used to fund the Al-Qaida network.
Whatever they told Githongo was explosive. That is my theory behind why he resigned.
Check out Kroll’s Africa Practice website. Kroll’s African division is responsible for The Africa Risk Monitor a publication that comes out every two weeks. You can read it on their website or get it sent to your email for free [subscription required].
This Guardian article from back in the day has some more information.
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Wednesday, February 9th, 2005 at 6:25 AM
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