Holy Smoke

Most obvious headline on today’s main news item: Holy Smoke!
The confident are predicting that a new pope will be elected in one of the two ballots tonight with an announcement at around 20.00 GMT tonight. All the major stations have their cameras focused on the most famous chimney in the world which is not surprising as TV stations had been booking rooftop vantage points overlooking St Peter’s Square since 1999, renewing each year, parting with hundreds of thousands of dollars. The Jesuits had been offered $250,000 (£133,000) by an American network to use the roof of their large, austere house on the edge of the square. They said no. “But we promise not to disturb you,” said a TV executive in a vain attempt at persuasion. “We’ll put an elevator on the outside of the building.” The Jesuits are letting an Irish Catholic station film there instead. No money changed hands.
I for one wouldn’t mind the conclave lasting a few more days just to see the major news anchors freezing and frustrated on having to report from a windy rooftop for days and nights on end.