July 2005

A Letter To The Terrorists, From London. Nice.
[via A Donkey on the Edge]

If you want to know just how low these right-wing nutters can go, how low they can go to twist any story to fit their agenda check out this site which claims:

PRELIMINARY REPORT: One UK Bomber Was Recent GITMO (Guantanamo Bay) Release!

There are masses of forensic experts working in tunnels deep underground as we blog looking for clues to the bombers and these cartoons claim they all ready know that one of the bombers was recently released from Guantanamo Bay. How the hell do they know? Ati from footage of the bombing “electronically retrieved” complete jokers. How low can you go?

Meanwhile they also have some more exclusives:
Apparently (but don’t tell anyone because this is top secret) there are going to be attacks in Iraq and Afghanistan. They also have another exclusive which says that the suspects of the London bombings might be in London (again don’t tell anyone, promise? ok!).

Consider these statements on the London bombing:

a.) On the drop in shares just after the bombs hit:
“Just on a personal basis … I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought ‘hmm, time to buy’.”

b.) On the benefits of being bombed:
“I think that works to our advantage, in the western world’s advantage, for people to experience something like this together, just 500 miles from where the attacks have happened.”

c.) On London’s bid for the Olypmics and the bombs:
“The International Olympic Committee missed a golden opportunity by not awarding the 2012 games to France. If they had picked France instead of London to hold the Olympics, it would have been the one time we could look forward to where we didn’t worry about terrorism. They’d blow up Paris, and who cares? This is why I thought the Brits should let the French have the Olympics - let somebody else be worried about guys with backpack bombs for a while.”

To recap, London gets bombed by terrorists and your reaction is to;
a.) advise people to buy shares while the stock market is down
b.) rejoice that bombings occurred (and that they occurred 500 miles away) as bombings put the “war on terror” back on the agenda
c.) wish Paris was bombed instead and that 50+ Parisians died instead

Now a credible news outfit would not broadcast such nonsense would it? And if such nonsense went out live on air then a credible news agency would sack, or at the very least rebuke, the members of staff involved. And you would not expect such comments to be made by the senior staff of a credible news agency would you? Not on the same day as bombings? Live on air? Surely not! Not unless they are some West-hating-militant-unreliable news outfit surely.

The first comment was made by Brit Hume, the channel’s Washington managing editor, the second comment by, Brian Kilmeade, and the third by John Gibson who are both HOSTS of news programmes. Which news channel do these idiots work for and which station broadcasts their nonsense? FOXNews. With friends like these …

Imagine if a British newspaper or if SHOCK-HORROR the state owned, BBC, came out with similar remarks after terror attacks on the US. If the UK can not even get decency, concern and respect out of this “special relationship” what chance do they have to get anything concrete? Full story reported in The Guardian.

Coming from a country that has had the misfortune of being hit multiple times by Al-Qaida idiots and murders we stand in solidarity with the people of London and the UK be they Kenyan (including KBW members), British or from wherever. There is no excuse for the cowardly acts. None.

“When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.” said Samuel Johnson many hundreds of years ago and the relationship London has with the rest of the UK is interesting to say the least. That however is for another post.

Up here in Manchester we look down at Londoners and London with pity. First of all no one talks to each other down there. Not surprisingly because when you’re up in each others armpits on the tube it’s hard to sound coherent. Secondly that city is packed. It is never empty. Imagine being on the dance floor of Carni, at SuperSoul, and its raining heavily so everyone is inside and there is an alcohol promotion so everyone is high. Imagine how sweaty and stuffy that would be, that’s London on a quiet day. If one more person moves to London the place will blow up.The last time I was in London (about 3 weeks ago I was almost ran down by a NAKED cyclist. And when I say naked I mean NA KAY EHH D NAKED. And when I say cyclist I mean cyclists many and many of them!. I even have a clip taken with my brand new Nokia mobile phone (but do I say) if anyone wants proof. But you don’t have to take my word for it check out the BBC’s clips.
Thirdly that city doesn’t make sense.. Fourthly it’s expensive. It is funny watching the spawn of various African dictators watch what they thought was big money sucked away.

Anyway to misquote Shakespeare’s Anthony, “I come to praise London not to bury her.” Even though you are not allowed to flush your toilets and there is no way you can deal with 1 million extra people I hope London wins the Olympics. Mainly because it will give my secret campaign for my secret bid city a massive boost (hehehehe all will be revealed in good time!) as for now, go London go.

Disclaimer: If London actually wins then hey Red Ken I love you. And all those jokes about you not letting people flush their toilets because you’re after the floating voter was just some friendly fun ama?!!

My goodness. Our government has gone completely bonkers! While the police are busy trying to get guns out of circulation, 1,619 assorted firearms collected in the North Rift alone, the government wants to give private security firms the right to carry guns!

Are you completely nuts? Can you imagine watchies with AKs?! Which cartoon thought this one up? What happens when Fred “tutaweka mudavadi tyre” Gumo registers his “security firm” six months before the election? Imagine a chief with four cops trying to keep peace in a constituency where all the local big wig politicians have 20 armed “campaigners”? Imagine how many guns one street in Muthiaga would have!

But hey we should worry as the government would like to reassure us that they are not mad and have included a safe guard. “The minimum entry will be possession of a Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education.” Pass your exams, own a gun! Imagine the rock throwing student battalion moonlighting as security guards. Then imagine the next cops-v- students clash. Nice eh!

And you think cops will stand for private security firms owning bigger guns than them? Hell no. Next on Kenyan streets cops with M16s. Beau-ti-ful!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENYAN BLOGS WEBRING!
The Kenyan Blogs Webring is one year old today, July 5th 2005!
Woooooo Hooooooo.
Visit KenyaUnlimited the official home of the Kenyan Blogs Webring!

On a more personal note; for the syke, for the encouragement, for the support, for the drama, for the noise, for the scandal, for the patriotism, for the sense, for seeing the bigger picture, for the movement, for the courage, for comradeship, to each and every member of the Kenyan Blogs Webring I say thank you!

At midnight Kenya time we have exactly 87 active members. The KenyaUnlimited Challenge closed at midnight Kenya time and we have a winner. No need for a tie break, no need for sudden death or penalties. Step forward Msanii_xl our winner who was on the money with the guess of 87! I’ll email you shortly thanks for everyone else who took part!

MA together with a section of the Movabletype fraternity has been experiencing some issues with the new Cpanel update not getting along with our databases, hence the chaos on this site and the chaos with my rss feeds which maybe causing drama in your rss readers. Poleni. Normal service is resumed, hopefully.

As mentioned before I did send the txts and I did get tickets to Africa Calling the African arm of the live8 concerts which was hosted at Eden Project. These guys could not have chosen a more remote location on this island. You know things are thick when train timetable people put you on hold for hours trying to figure out a route for you and the coach guys haven’t even heard of the place. Why the heck didn’t they put it in a city, easily accessible and am sure many would have been more than willing to host it (just to see Kanda Bongoman’s dancers if nothing else).

Listening to a debate this morning on the radio a speaker talked about concerned Europeans paternalistic and Victorian approach to Africa which believes that outsiders have to save Africa because Africans have failed to save ourselves. This he argued was reflected in the lack of African artists at the main Live8 concerts. Food for thought.

Self styled “African realists” have been responsible for the painful smile on my face. Rarely do I encounter a group so confused. Consider these sentences:

a.) Who the hell is Bob Geldof anyway? No one knows his songs!
b.) All these Live8 rock stars are it for the publicty
c.) All these Live8 rock stars just want to look cool and feel good about themselves.

Now let’s be realistic. Let us be brutally realistic. Where was the last G8 summit? Who hosted it? What was the main item on the agenda? No one knows no one cares.

This year is different though. And it’s the Make Poverty History and Bob Geldof that are responsible for that. They have raised the profile of Africans plight and they have put Africa firmly on the agenda. That is what matters at the end of the day. So what if Bob Geldof isn’t as big in your opinion as Luther Vandross (R.I.P)? So what is Brad Pitt is only in it to look sanctimonious? So what if the man in the street in Kakamega has never heard of Live8? It does NOT matter. MPH and Geldof have put Africa on the agenda. That is the reality.

Ati Liv8 is useless because of the lack of Africa artists. Nah you need a reality check. I would have preferred to see more African artist. I even got tickets for the Eden Project. But the concerts were not to showcase African talent. The concerts were not about African culture. The concerts were all about raising the profile, raising awareness in G8 countries because ultimately it is the citizens of those countries that can put the most pressure on the G8 leaders. Who do you think Tony Blair would rather not piss off, his senior backbenchers or the heads of states of IGAD? Who would Bush rather avoid confrontation with the leading senators or the ECOWAS heads of state? Who can put most pressure on British MPs and US Senators, fans of Gidigidi-Majimaji or fans of U2 and Sting? Reality check.

Africans behind their unrealistic realists really know how to shoot themselves in the foot at times. We had 10 concerts around the world all full of hundreds of thousands of people (1.5 million in Philly) all saying Make Poverty History and we complain. Can you think of a better way to raise the profile? Because REALISTICALLY we are flipping running out of options and we need all the help we can get. Do you need Bono to explain it to you? Well here you go: “The rock stars and the hip-hop stars can’t change anything but our audience really can.”

In the late ’80s my school participated in an anti-apartheid, release Mandela, letter writing campaign. Did the people on the streets of Soweto know about these kids in Kenya writing letters? Does Mandela know about these kids in Kenya that were writing letters? Probably not. But who knows, someone somewhere was getting tens of thousands letters a day. So what if the people in Kakamega were preoccupied with medical clinics and the sugarcane crop yesterday, because they didn’t know about Live8 does that mean that Live8 failed? That is bullshit. Maybe it takes a South African to appreciate “I don’t know who Bob Geldof is,” said Edward Romoki in central Johannesburg. “But people are speaking about poverty and there is plenty of that in Africa. Maybe a concert like this can put Africa in the news and change things.” He gets it, many do not.

If you want to be realistic look at any international news website today English non English websites Live8 is at the top. The number 1 news item. That is reality. Africa is on the agenda in a massive way. Trade is on the agenda in a massive way. 8 men in a room in Scotland probably won’t rock the boat. But people are standing up to be counted. Momentum is being built.

My Uganda friends told me that when Geldof went to Uganda he was met by protestors with placards reading, “We don’t want help from gays.” Wow now there is some serious logic for you. I wonder which clever cartoon came up with that one. Now it would have been nice to have a huge African concert, and hype park definately need a many african artists, it would have been nice if everybody love each other, it would be nice if i got chapos cooked for me everyday.

(Yes i realise that i have linked to the Torygraph newspaper. It is scary when even The Telegraph gets it but we fail to.)