The Mentalacrobatics manifesto:
Cut down all the tea and coffee and plant maize and beans on our most fertile land instead.
(OK sawa we’ll keep a couple acres of tea because after a hard day weeding maize you do need a good cup of tea.)
Reduce the number of MPs to 150, televise parliament and print a free monthly newsletter detailing how MPs voted. 3 people from each sub-location in each constituency to vote in a referendum on whether or not their MP gets a salary increase each time parliament proposes one. 95% of the sub locations in the MPs constituency have to agree. If an MP fails to get 95% support of the sub locations then he/she must pay the costs for the referendum in their constituency. Reduce the cabinet to 15 maximum. At least 7 of whom must be women, 5 of whom must be under 40 and 1 who can breakdance. (The 5 under 40s and the breakdancer do not have to be women.)
Harambee Stars to have proper kit in Kenya’s colours for all international matches. Including tracksuits. All Kenyan Olympic gold medallists, Kenyan Paralympians and the Kenyan cricket world-cup semi finalists to be awarded EBSs. All members of the Kenyan rugby team to be given free gym membership for life and banned from consuming alcohol during their playing career (including off season) until they retire. Kenya to look at forming a formula1 team by 2010. Kenya to have produced a potential Tour de France winner by 2010.
Strictly impose the 18+ rule at all nightclubs/bars. Strictly impose the 18+ for the purchase and consumption of alcohol. Introduce a zero-tolerance drink driving rule. Get caught once you have to join the NYS for six months.
More policies the next night I can’t sleep.
Pamoja Tuangamize Ukimwi
Kaybees - Thanks for voting!
7 comments
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July 14, 2005 at 7:27 am
bankelele
Very good. But I think coffee is still viable (it’s booming for Rwanda, Uganda & Ethiopia) and Kenyan farmers should be allowed to sell to whoever and export on their own - we need to cut all the middle men in the sector
July 14, 2005 at 9:50 am
Afrofeminista
Love it!
Although the stint in NYS …it might get rather over crowded and perhaps some of us would be there all year long! I think we could get you some ‘under 40s’, breakdancing women…
July 14, 2005 at 1:37 pm
Ms K
Most people just read books. Or watch bad/x-rated late night movies. Or have a cup of coffee. Or count sheep.
Pick one!
July 16, 2005 at 5:07 pm
Mama JunkYard
I always knew that you were most productive at night.
I feel very strongly about this one: Introduce a zero-tolerance drink driving rule.
We need to get serious about drink driving. No if, buts or maybes…there is no excuse for driving under the influence. And there is certainly no truth in statement kama “hii gari ina jua njia ya kwenda nyumbani”
July 18, 2005 at 10:32 am
Adrian
the F1 team is quite a hurdle.
though tour de france thing is “easier”. lance will have retired by then…
July 18, 2005 at 2:31 pm
Uarida
You are right on everything except breakdancing MPs. Why can’t they do a Kenyan dance like that one by Masaai?
I worked for a while with coffee farmers and the whole coffee issue and broke my heart over the fact that coffee shop owners who have nothing to do with Kahawa are becoming millionaires while the coffee farmers cannot afford to drink their own product.
Did you say anything about planting more trees? and firing corrupt workers on the spot? What about matatus? (have provided you with a list of “Things that must be changed for a better Kenya”
July 19, 2005 at 4:43 pm
Shaf
bring prohibition to an end!