Inspired by Guess’s brilliant example I decided to go and donate blood. A simple thing that I should do more often that I hadn’t done in a while. The donor centre was a pleasant place with lots of smiling people, friendly nurses and free tea, juice and biscuits.
Before they let you anywhere near the refreshments however you have to donate some blood. Before you can donate you have to fill out a questionnaire and that is when you realise that as a African you are a walking potential health disaster. Here are some of the questions I was asked. If you answer yes to any of them your blood is rejected and you told quietly and firmly to bounce like the muppet you are.
Question 1
Which can be broken down, for me at least, to have you shagged a Kenyan in Kenya. Answer yes to that, even if you have passed a HIV test since then, and you will be told to come back to donate when you have managed to stay away from sex for 12 months.
Questions 2
Which since I wasn’t born in the UK is obviously a yes. They ask me where I stayed. I mention Kenya. Again from their reaction it is clear to see that Kenya is not on any safe list they have.
But these two questions are not the ones that lead to me being marched out. That was down to this:
The double whammy
That would be a yes (I blogged about it here). I was quick to point out that my last Malaria attack was over 10 years ago and surely there must be some sort of statute of limitation. After a consultation they informed me that I could donate but I would have to be screened for malaria each and every time I donated. No problems for me there.
Then this question came up:
Again yes. I was back in Kenya over Christmas and I do tend to travel home once a year.
Well that was that for them. If I couldn’t stay away from Kenya for 12 months and insisted on catching malaria there 10 years ago then my blood was probably more lethal than Jack Bauer on a terrorist hunt.
On the plus side they did allow me to have a free biscuit which after all that I felt I deserved. Does anyone know the rules for donating blood in Kenya? All I remember being asked is if I had HIV/AIDS and/or Hepatitis or something like that. But the nurse said the screened the blood for everything anyway and asked me if I wanted to know the results of my HIV test.
If you want to check just how lethal you are you can do the UK blood donor suitability questionnaire here.
I bet none of you get past question 18 
Pamoja Tuangamize Ukimwi
Kaybees - Thanks for voting!
15 comments
Comments feed for this article
Trackback link
http://www.mentalacrobatics.com/think/archives/2006/05/donating_blood.php/trackback
May 17, 2006 at 3:38 pm
Mama JunkYard
Dude! I got passed the are 17-59 question and the have you donated blood in the last 6 weeks question. The third question was do you have a cough….I clicked yes…THE END
I can’t believe I fell at the third hurdle…
That aside, I think your post does raise some valid questions re blood donation. While I am sure their intention is to ensure that all the blood they receive is ‘clean’ they ask questions based on such stereotypical assumptions.
Aside from the one you have raised I think they also ask men whether they have had anal sex with other men -with or without a condom - and clicking yes to that question gets you a big fat no.
We need more African/Caribbean donors but unless they revise their questions and also alter their marketing campaign they are going to lose very many potential donors from the African/Caribbean community.
May 17, 2006 at 4:56 pm
spicebear
lol, cos i said yes to question 18 i am doomed? i shall not be able to give blood? ok, i understand that they are trying to cut down on costs and all because screening is expensive but damn! its like i’m a leper or something.
this is exactly why back home some of those questions are not asked. it’s hard enough as it is to find donors and though free sodas are nice and all no one wants to go through that hassle everytime they want to donate
May 17, 2006 at 5:23 pm
uaridi
Well,, they do not want my blood too - and I am a universal donor.
I think I will wait until I go home!!
May 17, 2006 at 8:28 pm
kabinti
i dont bother anymore out here especially after the whole malaria scenario thing…
May 18, 2006 at 5:58 am
kenyanmusings
tehehehe….
That is harsh!!!
leave alone some of us who cannot donate because we are underweight…aiiii, now how?
Pffft, that question 18 sure is a killer….sheesh..kwani what’s wrong with kenyan blood?
Do we not bleed red blood when pricked? (had to sneak that in there)
Do we not? eh?
May 18, 2006 at 11:21 am
sassy
thats harsh can you imagine being asked the same question in k enya……
no one will donate blood.
May 18, 2006 at 1:58 pm
spoiler
Same questionaire in Australia as well, are you aware that sometime in the 90’s Ethiopian born Africans resettled in Israel held protests when they found out that any blood they donated was being poured out. You would think Israel would need all the blood they can get given the frequent bombs but no not that of miros. I wouldnt advice any African from Sub-Saharan Africa to even bother trying to donate blood when abroad, no one wants it. In Aus they give free sandwiches and juice though - pretty cool if your hungry.
May 18, 2006 at 3:04 pm
AK
@spoiler, the same in SA too until less than 2 years ago. the irony is, SA is almost 80% a black country and yet they incinerated black blood including the president’s donation. So only white blood was passed to cover all blood needs.
Not all blood is red, there’s white too lol..
May 18, 2006 at 8:15 pm
DallasMaasai
In the US… Have you had anal sex recently?
May 19, 2006 at 1:17 pm
JKE
I also regularly donate blood with the Red Cross (because their coffee is so good) and always mentioning to them that I grew up in Kenya. Helps to cut out stupid questions by ignorant doctors…
In Germany, btw, they ask: have you ever been to the UK & Ireland before 1980? (wtf??)
May 19, 2006 at 2:25 pm
Mentalacrobatics
Interesting observations here. Maybe this will grow into a bigger post on how blood donations are regulated. JKE the UK question is most probably related to CJD better know as Mad Cow Disease but I may be wrong.
May 23, 2006 at 12:11 am
Kiki
US: I have never had malaria (thank God) so I passed that question. I hesitated giving blood after one of the nurses on site was using a dudes arm for a pin cushion…
May 23, 2006 at 9:38 am
Shiroh
I am just wonderin what would happen if i lied through and through ala!
You know if you surf about African- Carribean countries, it is funny coz you will always get a disclaimer about the population: ati figures may change coz of high Aids prevalence (WTF!!!)
June 1, 2006 at 8:29 pm
Blood donor
In Canada, here is a link to the form used for a record of donation.
http://worldlinkpixels.com/102/
January 7, 2008 at 9:13 pm
kenyanchicabroad
@ JKE, it’s because the blood in UK was not screened for HIV, Hep B & C and also CJD