Kampala: where the players play. Part 1

After my exploits with EaaaaaaasyCoach I decided to take this international. Let’s go to Kampala, where the players play!

Uganda and Kenya remind me of a typical African extended family. Visiting Kampala is like visiting an aunt’s house, some things are very familiar, and others seem very strange. Kenya and Uganda are like that. We are so different, yet almost completely alike. In fact the relationship between Kenya and Uganda is like that of two cousins. For one there is no other country that is closer to Kenya in any practical sense. Where else would you find one brother the vice president of one country, Kenya’s Moody Awori, and the other brother, Uganda’s Aggrey Awori, a Member of Parliament and former presidential candidate in another country? Enough of the geopolitics, let’s go to Kampala!

The first decision is easy. Nairobi to Entebbe is the most expensive air route per mile IN THE WORLD. I mean USD 400 to go next door? Not frigging likely. So like all sensible people I was on the bus, USD 50 return. And by bus I mean Akamba. Actually to be honest I was bling blinging. I was not on Akamba, I was on Akamba ROYAL.

Royal is a meant to be a different experience from your usual bus trip. There is a DVD player but only two screens in the bus and all the speakers are at the front. They showed Fantastic Four though which you do not really need sound to enjoy although they could have turned on subtitles. You also get a refreshment at the start of journey. In Kenya you get a tired looking bottle of battered water. In Uganda you get a samosa, a cup of juice AND a tired looking bottle of battered water, comme ca:

However the best thing about Royal is that there are fewer seats = more legroom = better journey. In reality it is still all about the seat lottery. You want to grab a seat towards the front of the coach but not right at the front, otherwise you feel every bump as we did on our way back to Nairobi.

I was not allowed to take pictures at the border but I wish I was. For starters all this talk about East African Community cross border cooperation has translated to nothing on the ground. Officially Kenyans need a passport to travel to Uganda and vice versa. Passport control on the Kenyan side is a joke. Imagine a kiosk window with a cranky owner. That’s passport control Kenyan style. Now imagine a small airport waiting room with a air conditioning. That’s passport control Uganda style. Although I did not need a visa the immigration officer informed me that I had three weeks in Uganda and then I’d have to bounce. What they are afraid I’d want to stay? Muppet!

Kampala has 24 hour traffic jam, like Nairobi. Dangerous, rude drivers, who seem to have a death wish, like Nairobi. Unlike Nairobi however in Kampala seems to be packing heat. (No that does not mean they are working in a factory filling boxes for a heater manufacture or a boiler maker. It means that they are Packing Heat! That is carrying guns.)

It is slighty amusing and a little bit scary when you walk into a hotel and they ask you if you have any weapons you’d like them to hold for safe keeping. In Kenya when you walk into a government building you hand over your National ID and collect when you leave. In Uganda you hand over your Uzi, AK, Glock etc. Everyone knew I was a tourist when I took a picture of this sign:

My Ugandan pal assures me that they are all and I quote “one pea shooters” that is although everyone has guns, no one has bullets. But hey are you willing to risk finding out? The number of guns in that country is crazy. I have never seen a female night time security guard in Kenya. In Kampala there are common. I guess they were right when they said a gun is the ultimate equalizer.

Well that’s part 1. Part 2 in the near future, if I feel like it that is.

As for now I am off to Grahamstown, South Africa where the players play.