Posts filed under 'Liverpool FC'
Viewers of today’s feature presentation, The Massacre at Anfield 3, may feel they are watching a repeat of last years feature, which we reviewed on Mentalacrobatics here.
We would like to assure all our viewers that we at Anfield are professionals and thus will never tire of spanking Chelski in the Champions’ League semi-finals.
We would also like to point out to our viewers that it is not our fault Chelski suck. Like many of our viewers we are disgusted that sub standard teams such as Chelski are allowed to participate in such a prestigious competition.
We would like to remind our viewers that winning the Champions’ League requires pedigree, power, passion, panache, pride and a Liverbird on your chest.
YNWA
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Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 at 3:50 PM
God really must be Liverpool fan.
Destroy Arsenal in the quarter-final
Demolish Chelsea in the semi-final (again) HAHAH ROTFLMBBAO
HUMILIATE ManUtd in the final
You couldn’t ask for a better end to a season
We’ve won it 5 Times
We’ve won it 5 Times
In Istanbul
We Won it 5 Times
We’ll Win It 6 Times
We’ll Win It 6 Times
In magic Moscow
We’ll Win it 6 Times
It’s only on Loan
It’s only on Loan
In magic Moscow
We’ll Bring It Back Home
Meanwhile …
From: Nairobi, Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, Kenya (NBO)
To: Moscow, Domodedovo Airport, Russia (DME)
To: Nairobi, Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, Kenya (NBO)
Passengers: 1 Adult
Cabin: Economy
Departing: Tuesday, 20 May, 2008
Returning: Thursday, 22 May, 2008
Price: USD 1936.00
WHOA - perhaps I’ll watch it on TV instead.
(Yo Nyiloh, this time it’s on!)
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Friday, March 14th, 2008 at 8:03 PM
Well done to Milan, worthy champions. Koppites, we’ll meet in Moscow.
The way Gattuso was wandering around after the final whistle like a mad man I wonder what he would have done had they lost again hehe.
Silver linings and all that:
The good thing about nights like last night is that you get to meet real fans. Sitting in Crooked Q making noise long after the final whistle was brilliant. People were walking to us and saying, “Didn’t you guys lose?” Yeah yesterday we lost, but tomorrow we will win, so today we will sing.
(By the way I have final found out the reason CrookedQ exists. Still have no idea what the point of JKs, Tamasha, Sohos etc is.)
Looks like the foundations for a official Nairobi (or indeed Kenya) branch of LFC Supporters club are all here. Watch this space.
Surreal moment of the night was being stopped by police with various Liverpool flags hanging from the car and YNWA blasting from the stereo and then being escorted, flashing lights and all, to Nairobi Safari Club because they decided that we were part of the Burundi delegation in Nairobi for the COMESA summit. HEHE. Yani one look at us and they were like bilaz these nutters can not be Kenyan!
I would post pictures but let me not push my luck.
Walk on, the Rafaloution year 4.
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Thursday, May 24th, 2007 at 10:33 AM
No one likes a know it all
Even if the know-it-all is always right
Even more so if the know-it-all is good looking 
And especially when the know-it-all says, “I told you so.”
But heck – who cares?
I TOLD YOU SO!
The Mighty Reds of Anfield lock horns with Meeeeeeeeeelan in Athens in a repeat of the 2005 Champions’ League final.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, the Champions’ League trophy is the most fussy of mistresses. She only lets a very select few battle for the right to call her their own.
Liverpool and Meeeeeeeeeeeeelan happen to be amongst those few.
Manchester Buccaneers and Spartak Chelski do not happen to be amongst those few.
Chelski: “we’re chasing a historic quadruple.”
Liverpool: “NO you are not.”
What a routine win, it was a walk in the park really, no sweat. Chelski have been crying all season about how they never get awarded penalties, look what happened when they got 5. Useless.
Buccaneers: “We’re gonna win the treble.”
Meeeeeeeeeeeeelan: “NO you are not.”
Hehehe!
As for the Buccaneer fans who had the audacity to come in here and start talking about history and “big clubs”, where do I even start educating you?
Quote of the day
“I guess when you’ve invested £500m it’s a fantastic season to win the League Cup.”
Rick Parry wins the battle of wits against Mourinho
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Thursday, May 3rd, 2007 at 3:20 PM
We won it five times; we won it five timeeeeeeeeees, in Istanbul we won it five times!
It’s only on loan; it’s only on looooooan, in ancient Greece we’ll bring it back home!
Tonight for One Night Only
Showing at a screen near you
The Massacre at Anfield
A Liverpool Football Club Production
Directed by Rafa “The Gaffa” Benitez
Starring
Steve “Captain Fantastic” Gerrard MBE
Luis “Semi Final Goal Scorer” Garcia
Momo “So good they named him twice” Sissoko
Jamie “The Minister of Defence” Carragher
Peter “Crouchigol” Crouch
And The Koppites a.k.a The real Special Ones as the 12th man.
Prediction: Liverpool will beat AC Milan in this year’s Champions’ League Final in a repeat of the greatest game of football ever played.
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Tuesday, May 1st, 2007 at 2:35 PM
In Rafa WE trust.
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Thursday, February 22nd, 2007 at 1:47 AM
He’s BIG he’s RED his feet stick out of bed. It’s Peter Crouch! It’s Peter Crouch!
He’s BIG he’s RED his knees reach your head. It’s Peter Crouch! It’s Peter Crouch!
GGGGGGGGG Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
Crouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuchino!!!!
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Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 at 8:23 PM
Sorry, it was our fault.
It wasn’t the referees fault, although he was very very dodgy. It wasn’t Lehmann’s fault, although what the hell was he thinking when he executed a perfect rugby tap tackle in a football game. It wasn’t Henry’s fault, although he missed more chances than the number on the back of his shirt. It wasn’t UEFAs fault, although they seem to appoint match referees who seem to be recent arrivals on earth.
No no, no one else is to blame for the Gooners going down. It is our fault. Not mine personally, although some have taken to calling me the Prophet of Doom. No, it is our fault collectively.
African Footballer of the Year Samuel Eto’o has revealed that Barcelona summoned the spirit of Liverpool to come from behind to beat Arsenal in the Champions League final in Paris … Eto’o, who was named man-of-the-match for a vibrant striking display which also saw him bring a fabulous save from Arsenal reserve goalkeeper Manuel Almunia, said: “We remembered the spirit of Liverpool. We saw what Liverpool did last year when they were three down. You can’t doubt yourselves in a final. And after half-time we knew we had to come out and fight and, God willing, you can win.”
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Thursday, May 18th, 2006 at 10:48 AM
Another routine win, another season with two trophies. After a mammoth 62 game season to produce a never-say-die performance like that is special. Liverpool FC aaiii kweli we are entertainers. Why win in 90 minutes when you keep the whole country on the edge of their seats for 120 minutes and a penalty shoot out.
As for Captain Fantastic,
what more can we say. The man is in a class of his own.
Liverpool FC, UEFA Super Cup winners 2005 - 2006
Liverpool FC, FA Cup winners 2006
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Sunday, May 14th, 2006 at 1:25 PM
I promised I would post pictures and videos of the spanking Liverpool (WWI5T) handed out to the Manchester Buccaneers.
Well here they are.
(Some of you are will wonder why I do not post pictures and clips from the spanking we dished out to Chelski to which I respond, I only deal with big clubs.) The clips are in MP4 format, if you have trouble viewing them grab VLC, the brilliant open source media player which seems to play anything in this world. As before the photos and clips were taken on my brand new Nokia N70 (BDIS)!
In the picture above the banner is directed at the Buccaneer fans across the ground. It reads, “We achieve your dreams.”
LFC first clip [MP4 file]
In this clip we remind the Buccaneer fans that “we won it five times”. We also hold up five fingers because most of them are too slow to understand what we are talking about. In the second half of the clip the teams are announced to the crowd. During the Buccaneer announcement the crowds boos and jeers. During the LFC (WWI5T) players announcement the crowd cheers to salute their conquering heroes.
LFC second clip clip [MP4 file]
Second clip is all about “when the reds go marching in” an oldie but a classic.
LFC third clip [MP4 file]
Third clip is after the game and is all about us informing Buccaneer fans that they are not singing anymore. But since we are good guys we also sing, “Always look on the bright side of life” to cheer them up. Hehehe!
LFC fourth clip [MP4 file]
The final clip has “You Never Walk Alone” at the end of the game with a picture of the scoreboard. (I didn’t take the “You Never Walk Alone” at the beginning of the game because I was too busy singing my lungs out.)
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Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006 at 1:54 PM
At 5 pm this past Saturday there was TV programme on Channel 4 called Supernanny. The premise of the show is simple; you have a household that is in chaos because the children are rude and disrespectful. The Supernanny, Jo Frost, then comes in to force some discipline into the badly behaved children. The first lesson is to remind the ill behaved rabble who is boss.
Fittingly, at the exactly the same time on another TV channel The Mighty Liverpool Football Club (WWI5T) were doing exactly the same thing to Chelski, installing some much need discipline and reminding Maureen’s bunch of divers and cheats, just who is boss. Supernanny is not allowed to spank and but Liverpool are not as constrained, we spanked those Crimalsea muppets up and down the Theatre of Nightmares so bad they wont be able to sit still for a month. (For once there was high quality football at Old Trafford as the GlazerPizzaHutB&QTraffordBowl Dome Buccaneers were not allowed anywhere near the pitch).
Like another banner says you have “no history” the last time you won the league it was in black and white. Maureen has now got his tactics wrong in two crucial games, against Barcelona in the Champion’s League and against The Mighty Reds (WWI5T). So let’s make it clear, in RAFA WE TRUST.
In a good weekend for the Mighty Reds, Steven Gerrard has been voted the PFA Player of the Year by his peers. He follows in the footsteps of five all-time Liverpool greats Terry McDermott (1980), Kenny Dalglish (1983), Ian Rush (1984), John Barnes (1988). On top of that Liverpool held off Manchester City to claim the FA Youth Cup trophy for the first time in 10 years. All in all Manchester has been good to Liverpool this weekend!
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Monday, April 24th, 2006 at 3:11 PM
Step aside 50 Cent, Barnes is back!
The rap world is still shaking from his ground breaking single The Anfield Rap and not to mention his headline act at the 1990 World Cup.
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Friday, March 3rd, 2006 at 1:18 PM
Ticket in my pocket + red shirt on my chest + red scarf around my neck + YNWA hat on my head + train timetable in my hand + David Koz on my earphones + lucky red socks = I’m off to Anfield!
Solus Numquam Vades!
[If you haven't heard from me by Jamhuri Day someone please notify the Flying Squad and the 8th Nakuru Scout troop.]
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Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 at 2:12 PM
Football’s coming home or why Liverpool will win the premiership.
(A non biased analysis of the English Premier League.)
Let’s cut straight to the chase. The champion will come from one of the following four clubs: CSKA London, the Gooners, the Buccaneers, or The Mighty Liverpool Football Club,CoE. Forget Spurs or Man City and don’t even mention the bitter blues from Goodison Park, kua serious.
CSKA London
Like the old Roman Empire, the new Roman Empire will crack from within. Last season everything was rosy. None of those guys had won the premiership and they all wanted it. So everyone has happy to sit on the bench and keep the peace because they wanted that medal. Now that they’ve won it the noisy dissent has all ready started. First Carvalho complaining about being on the bench and revealing that he hasn’t liked Maureen since back in the day. Of course he was cut down speedily. But the Robben came out and said the same but he was pampered. Hiayaa favouritism! On top of all that internal pressure this is also a World Cup season; everyone is playing for a place in their country’s national team in hope of making the world cup squad. No one wants to be on the bench. Is Joe Cole going to be happy coming behind SWP this season? Nope. How about Glen Johnson who has all ready been dropped. Nope. Duff? Nope? And Drogba who isn’t even guaranteed to start for Ivory Coast? Nope! Things are going to be malaria in Little Moscow I tell you. Then there is the dreaded North West. To win the Premiership you have to survive the North West. Liverpool CoE, Everton, Man Utd, Man City, Bolton, Blackburn and now Wigan. You saw how far Wigan pushed Chelski? Yeah last season Chelski survived but that’s because we didn’t know your style, but as LFC CoE showed in the Champion’s League semi-final we have wised up to Maureen’s tactics. And last season there were too many London clubs who just lie down and get spanked. One of them went down last season and was replaced by a North West club which six less points at least. So Chelski are out.
Number of Chelski players short-listed for the prestigious UEFA Club Football Awards:3
The Gooners
There was only one thing missing from Arsenal’s, well, arsenal. Only one thing required to turn the gooners from a good team to a great team. Only one last trick to learn and the scary thing is they actually learnt it in the FA Cup final last season against the Buccaneers. Arsenal learnt how to win ugly. How to be outplayed a whole match but still win. How to play like crap against a team playing the game of their lives and still win. And then what did the clowns go and do? They went and sold Vieria. Yani what the hell was being burnt in London the day that deal went through? Its like that annual bhangi burning session had relocated from Nai to London. Ati the young ones can do the business. Please, you guys have all ready made Drogba look like he’s a good striker twice this season. Then you go and curse Henry by making him captain. Strikers aren’t captains because they don’t score when they are captains. Pele was never captain of Brazil. Only one other Premiership club has a striker as captain and look where Newcastle are on the table. Boss when you are relying on Cygan for goals things are elephant. Even Nike know. Why do you think they hooked ya’ll up with ridiculous purple kit. I mean honestly can you see champions wearing purple? No I didn’t think you would.
Number of gooners short-listed for the prestigious UEFA Club Football Awards: 0
The Manchester Buccaneers
The Buccaneers are in decline. Sir Alex has flipped the script (he thinks Alan Smith is a midfielder and Wes Brown can play in the premiership). Your players do not want to travel together. Your fans hate your management, your management do not know anything about football, the fans hate the manager, drug addicts don’t want to sign for you, and you’re the second team in Manchester behind Man City. Even Nike know you’re crap (watch out for the purple strip which must be on its way soon). Players who have rejected you so far this month: Owen, Cicinho, Ballack, Essien, John Mikel Obi. The NHS wants to become van Nistelrooy’s personal sponsor because the guy is sick 90% of the time. You’ll be lucky to win the Carling Cup with a starting midfield of Keane, Fletcher, Scholes, and Park. And whatever happened to Saha? And Fortune? Things are so thick even Phil Neville left. Rearrange the following words: sinking abandoning ship rats a.
Number of Buccaneer players short-listed for the prestigious UEFA Club Football Awards: 0
The mighty Liverpool Football Club, CoE
Let’s briefly go back to One Night in May, this club has winning ways. Winning is in the blood. You are talking about a club that held the supposedly mighty CSKA London goalless for 180 minutes. A club that scored against the best defence in the world 3 times in 6 minutes. A club that beat the Scudetto champions over two legs. A club that doesn’t know how to lose the big games. You’re talking about worthy successors to the legacy of 18 times champions. Of the top four clubs Liverpool, CoE, is the only one on the way up. Everyone wants to join the party. Even the captain realised he would be nuts to defect to chelski and Owen knows he made the biggest blunder since the Buccaneers let Sir Alex stay when he defected to Real Madrid. None of you have fans even close to those at Anfield, even our chairman’s number plate reads “Kop1″. We needed steel in midfield, have you seen the miro they call Momo? Imagine, Gerrard, Xavi and Momo together at the heart of the team. DAMN! We signed the best keeper in La Liga, the best player in the world drives our midfield and we have the fastest striker in the world feeding the one of the most clinical finishers around. Then we have the old heads to keep the younger players feet on the ground. And in Rafa you have the man to lead the club to the Promised Land. No silly “I am the special one” nonsense from him.
Number of Liverpool, CoE, players short-listed for the prestigious UEFA Club Football Awards: 4
European player of the year: S. Gerrard, winning captain, LFC, Champions of Europe.
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Tuesday, August 30th, 2005 at 5:03 AM
Another day, another trophy. Only 5 more to go this season eh.
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Monday, August 29th, 2005 at 9:29 PM
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