Civil Society Protest

On Wednesday afternoon I joined civil society activist in a peaceful march to parliament to present a petition to parliament protesting against the Media Bill passed by parliament which is now awaiting presidential consent and the corrupt, immoral, illegal “gratuity” payment Kenyan legislators are attempting to award themselves.

Last week civil society activists were harassed, beaten, tear-gassed, arrested illegally and almost killed in a car crash involving the police vehicle they were being transported in (after being arrested illegally) when trying to present the petition to parliament. I am happy to say that none of those things happened yesterday as the peaceful march passed as it was meant to, peacefully! A Member of Parliament (and ODM-K presidential candidate Joseph Nyagah) accepted the petition from us to take to parliament.

Below are the pictures from a day in which the Kenyan police respected the law they ask us to upload and let Kenyan citizens exercise their constitutionally protected right to petition their parliament. The full set (103 photos) is available on my Flickr account. Click on the images below to see full size picture.

|  Email This Post | 4 comments Thursday, August 9th, 2007 at 2:40 PM

7

I was tagged by some strong willed people, to ignore them would be dangerous, so here we go with 7 things. Not 7 things you do not know about me which would just be boring especially as I shared 6 things you do not know about me just the other day. So instead here we go with:

7 random thoughts from that blogger called Mentalacrobatics

1. I find it amazing how many single women in Kenya wear a wedding ring on their ring finger. The few I know tell me they do that to scare away the seedy and slimy men that approach them. That doesn’t make sense to me. Seedy and slimy men will not be scared away by a wedding ring. In fact if anything that just increases your appeal to such characters. However, all decent, honourable and normal guys once they spot the wedding ring will keep a respectful distance in the courting game. A wedding ring is like kryptonite to single men, believe me. Then the same Kenyan women complain that there are no suitable men around to marry! Well remove the fake wedding rings and then see what happens!
2. It is unbelievably hard to get some people to put a simple and small piece of code on their blog. These are not the people who do not know how to upload the ringcode. Those ones usually ask for help. Rather it is mainly experience bloggers who for one reason or another can not be bothered to upload the ringcode yet want to be counted as a KBW member. The excuses they give are many, for example: I don’t have time (it takes less than 20 seconds), It is to big (the ring code is about 1 byte big) it doesn’t fit in with my template (you can format the font to your hearts content so long as it can be read and clicked) . excuses excuses excuses. I believe the reason they have this attitude is because it is so easy to become a KBW member. If we charged USD 50.00 per month and insisted on 10,000 word blog posts weekly to qualify for membership, they would probably have the ringcode up, with flashing lights, in an instance.
3. We all have our pet peeves, the little things that irritate us. One of mine is when people wrongly interchange the terms hacker and cracker. For those who do not know:

   A hacker is a person intensely interested in the arcane and recondite workings of any computer operating system. Most often, hackers are programmers. As such, hackers obtain advanced knowledge of operating systems and programming languages. They may know of holes within systems and the reasons for such holes. Hackers constantly seek further knowledge, freely share what they have discovered, and never, ever intentionally damage data.

   A cracker is a person who breaks into or otherwise violates the system integrity of remote machines, with malicious intent. Crackers, having gained unauthorized access, destroy vital data, deny legitimate users service, or basically cause problems for their targets. Crackers can easily be identified because their actions are malicious.

   At least have the decency to know what you are accusing someone of before you go banging on about it over and over again.

4. Every relationship reaches a point where you think, hmmmm, this could actually work, or alternatively, damn, this will never work. For me that point usually comes during an unexpected crisis and how the other person reacts to it.

   For example, having a puncture is inconvenient, having a puncture at 3am in the still of the night, is scary, having a puncture at 3am in the still of the night on a dark stretch of Thika Road notorious for muggings and carjacking is a bloody crisis, even more so when you are with a date you are trying to impress! There I was going through all the potential options in my head:

   • Stop and change the tire right there – ARE YOU MAD?
   • Stop and wait for help – From whom? This is not Gotham where you can fire up the Bat Signal and wait for Batman
   • Drive to a police station – HEHEHEHEHE yeah right “Kihjana ghucha gipande hii”
   • Drive on to a safer place, probably a petrol station and change the tire there, knowing full well that you will complete destroy the flat tire that is on the wheel. Sacrifice the tire to save your life – hmm ok

   While I’m doing all this thinking inside I’m saying all these reassuring things out loud, we’ll be fine etc, I’ve done this before etc, don’t worry. Basically just trying to keep things calm and give her no reason to panic.Then I realise that while I’ve been thinking she was saying the same things to me, as in her first reaction was not to panic but to reassure me in case I was about to panic.

   At that point I would start to think, hmmm this could work you know.

   As opposed to those who start shouting and sulking over something simple as looking for a parking space in town!

5. You know those guys who make a big deal of how much they hate football? The ones who say things like, “football just doesn’t make sense and I don’t follow it” you know those guys, the ones who go to the supermarket during the world cup final because, “it will be empty with everybody at home watching the game” you know those clowns right. Guys who come in when you are watching a game and try to change the channel to the MTV Base during half time when you are trying to follow the analysis? You know those guys right? Well every single one of them is now a Chelsea fan. That’s why we look down on you, you chelski muppets. I know 2, TWO, genuine Chelsea fans from East Africa, two of my bros who have been with Chelsea from back in the day, even before akina Viali etc were playing at Chelsea, which to be honest was the first time many of us even noticed that silly team. And those two bros of mine hate these new school Chelsea fans more than we do, hehe!




6. African society is governed by a set of rules which you learn at an early age. These rules come and go, one topic of conversation is always which tribe is more traditional than the other. But one thing we all share across the board are the terms of respect and indeed status that are given to the brothers and sisters of our parents.

   For example, in English my mother’s sister is my aunt and my father’s sister is my aunt. In our culture, my mother’s sister is Mamamti and my father’s sister is Senje. Dare you call a Mamti Senje, one of my brother’s did once, we haven’t seen him since!

   In a similar way in English my father’s brother is uncle and my mother’s brother is uncle. In our culture my father’s brother is Papamti and my mother’s brother is Khotsa.

   It extends, the husband of a Mamamti automatically becomes a Papamti etc.

   We really do not have a specific word for cousin. I call my male cousins, brother and my female cousins, sister. (That is why I always say, me and my brothers, we are many (see story 5 above). I like this. It means I have brothers who are Kisii, Luo, Kikuyu, Kamba, Swahili, Maasai etc. I got back up!

   This one doesn’t extend as automatically. I only call my cousin’s husband brother if I feel he is worthy!

   My friends are used to this arrangement now and so when I introduce them to one of my brothers they ask me, “is this your brother, brother ….. or just your brother?”

7. A so called friend who happens to live in the states sent me this picture the other day.
   
   
   

   They took it with the camera on their phone while watching the latest episode of 24 and sent it to taunt me because they know it will be at least 3 days before I get my hands on the latest episodes. This has to rank amongst the cruellest SMS I have ever received.

|  Email This Post | 6 comments Wednesday, May 16th, 2007 at 1:35 PM

Mentalacrobatics IQ test - Answers

On Monday I tested your brain juice with some teasers. Here are the answers. For all the questions with the original pictures check out this post.

Question 1

I asked you what the man was doing lighting a fire in a straight line in the middle of the night.

Answer

SIAFU also know as Safari Ants. We found a line of ants between two buildings when we got home. They had already started attacking livestock and people walking between the two buildings. The fire was to stop them in their tracks or rather to scatter them. Stopping Siafu is almost impossible as we found out one month back in the day. But that is a blog post for another day. Just to prove that “Kakamega chickens are the craziest” check out these kuku feasting on the left over ants in the morning. Siafu can kill cows, horses and even (very drunk) people but in Kakamega our chickens download them like maize.

Question 2

I ask what signs are there in the picture that a major event is about to take place.

Answer

The banana plants (yeah the ones pointed at by the big red arrows).

The event that was taking place was a Harambee for a secondary school. We had asked for signboards to be put up to direct people to the school. When we got there in the morning there was only one signboard up, about a kilometre away on the main road. We asked where the rest of the signboards were we were told, “Didn’t you see the banana leaves along the route?” before they walked away muttering something about how city slickers are bleeding useless.

Question 3

I asked at what level of education does the owner of this desk study.

Answer

Secondary school. Not because the desk is big (you should see the size of some of the kids in Standard 8). There is one main clue:

The desk has a lock.

Primary school students, if they are lucky enough to have an individual desk, would not get a lock. Secondary students however, probably as a symbol that they are becoming more responsible, get their own desk with a lock.

Question 4

I asked at what level of education the boys performing the play study.

Answer

This was probably the easiest one. They are in secondary school. The trousers are the big clue. Primary school students wear shorts. (This must be all very confusing to people who went to “American style” schools where you can wear what you want all the time and uniforms did not exist. I remember being in a school where someone turned up for the day at school in a “Fuck the Police” t-shirt. I was scandalised.

School uniform is one of those things that you hate when you are in school but look at with pride once you leave. Some of my brothers were in Lenana School and a couple of years after they left we bumped into some Lenana boys standing at a bus stop with their shirts tucked out and ties loose. Man my bros jumped on those kids telling them that if they want to dress like that they should remove their school badges from their blazers so people think they go to Kabarak Boys (which apparently has the same colours as Lenana).

I remember bumping into some students from my former primary school and they were (and yeah this is shocking so you better sit down) the kids were wearing the Sunday uniform (white shirt, red blazers, grey shorts) WITHOUT TIES! I lectured them. For a good 5 minutes. In the middle of Sarit Centre. On a busy Sunday. Still it was their fault. If you do not want to wear the school tie then wear the “everyday uniform” (grey shirts, red sweaters, grey shorts). If you want to wear the “Number 1″ then wear the flipping tie ok!

Still on the subject of uniforms I was watching a Kenyan music video on TV the other day (what I can’t spend all my time solving the world’s problems) and in the music video, which was all about sex and smoking, the kids were wearing their school uniforms. I hope that those kids had all left the school by the time that video came out. Otherwise I’m scared to think what happened to them once they got back to school. I know the man we still THE Doctor would have finished us.

Question 5

I asked whether the girl guides were raising the flag or lowering the flag.

Answer

They are lowering the flag.

As any Scout or Girl Guide will tell you (and I speak as a veteran here; scout, Buffalo Patrol leader and later on Troop Leader (BDIS) of the 8th Nakuru Scout Troop) when the flag is being raised it is tied up in a bundle comme ca:

Congratulations to all of you who tackled the questions successfully. As for Mitzy, what are you? A brain reader or something?

An extra big thank you to all of you who responded to my SMS for contributions for the Harambee. I was touched by the response. I will send pictures of the event to your email addresses soon.

|  Email This Post | 3 comments Thursday, April 26th, 2007 at 12:08 PM

Mentalacrobatics IQ test

Here is a simple set of questions to test your brain juices this Monday afternoon. They really are easy and you should get at least 4 out of 5 right.

Question number 1

Observe the following picture

It is the middle of the night and this man is lighting a fire in a straightish line from a building across a patch of grass. What possible reason could there be for this behaviour? A strange African midnight ritual, an arsonist at work?

Question 2

Observe the following picture:

It is obvious that there is a big event about to take place here. What is the main sign that an event is about to take place?

Question 3

Observe the following picture

This is a school desk. At what level of education does the owner of this desk study?

Question 4

Observe the following picture

These three school boys are performing a play. At what level of education do they study?

Question 5

Observe the following picture

Are these Girl Guides raising or lowering the national flag?

Answers in the comments please.

|  Email This Post | 8 comments Monday, April 23rd, 2007 at 5:01 PM

They are called what?

This sign brightens up my daily commute. Every day I see it, every day I laugh. Sometimes I laugh until the people in the car behind me start getting worried looks on their faces.

If you know, you know.
If you don’t know, then you probably do not want to know!

|  Email This Post | 7 comments Tuesday, March 20th, 2007 at 4:08 PM

Safari Rally - King of the Rallies

Before I even start this post properly check out this out:

Now that right there is a piece of history ladies and gentlemen. (If you do not know who Joginder Singh and David Doig are and do not know the significance of this Mitsubishi Colt Lancer 1600 GSR and dare call yourself a fan of the Safari Rally, run to wikipedia and get yourself an education before you embarrass yourself here.)

Ok let’s beginning:

Let me be honest here, the main reason we love the Safari Rally is that it gives the opportunity to mess about like kids again.

You get to put stickers on your car without looking like muppet, comme ca:

You get to wear a shirt with many badges without looking like you mugged a scout, comme ca:

The spectator stage at Athi River was brilliant but dustier than Michuki’s copy of MauMau Heroes

That’s a rally car, honest.

Oh look, there’s another one.

I hear last year they sent trucks around to sprinkle water to hold down the dust, this year we got the proper full rally experience.

Sanity, however, finally checked in and we headed to the more majestic surroundings of KICC for the finish.

As usual Mzee Jomo was area, nothing moves that man, he just sits there challenging you to impress him.

First up to try and impress Mzee Kenyatta were Conrad Rautenbach and Pete Marsh, winners of the Safari Rally 2007.

Conrad is the youngest winner ever at only 22 years old. So while Mugabe spent his weekend beating up his own people a couple of Zimbabweans (who happen to be white) were busy beating other rally drivers and flying their country’s flag proudly.

Here is the winning car. Did you know that it (insert your own car statistics that you managed to download from Google a minute before to impress the people around you.)

Here are the top three cars of Safari Rally 2007.

And here are the men who drove and navigated them. Conrad Rautenbach/Peter Mash (Zimbabwe, Subaru Impreza - on the ramp) 2:3043; Carl Tundo/Tim Jessop, (Kenya, Subaru Impreza - the blue car) 2;32.54; Andrea Navarra/Guido d’Amore (Italy, Fiat Punto - the one not on the ramp and not the blue one) 2:34.04. Enjoy the champagne guys!

I will upload the full sized pictures and a couple of more pictures on to flickr sometime this century. If anyone has a picture of Steve Gacheru’s car bursting into flames in Elmentaita which almost started a bush fire please share!

|  Email This Post | 4 comments Wednesday, March 14th, 2007 at 1:42 PM

Mater Heart Run 2007 - aftermath

Question: How did 20,000+ people in green t shirts managed to shut down Nairobi on Saturday?
Answer: The Mater Heart Run 2007

It was heart warming to see so many children taking part in the run. It truly was a family affair. Watching the scouts running around trying to give anyone and everyone a map of the run was fun as well. Well done everyone. I just hope that all of those people selling t-shirts prove as dedicated to the cause as those who turned up to walk/run. Many tshirts were sold on the day without receipts – I hope all the money makes it to the hospital.

Now the scary stuff – the first runners were back in under 30mins. This included a runner who is blind and was running with a friend. 10km in under 30minutes on a normal Saturday morning and you’re not even a professional runner. That’s Kenyans for you!

Enough of the chat here are a selection of picks. I’ll upload the rest on to flickr soon.

The warmest smile in Kenya

A section of the huge crowd

The warm up

To the left, to the left.

Bit more warming up

The VP is in a very good mood for a guy about to walk 10KM!

Let’s get this party started. VP flags us off.

Kids out in support

All hold hands

|  Email This Post | Add comment Wednesday, March 14th, 2007 at 1:13 PM

World AIDS Day 2006

The rain stayed away and the sun was out for the marking of World AIDS Day 2006 at Kenyatta International Conference Centre in Nairobi. What can be said on AIDS has been said. Instead check out my pictures from the day including very important people such as the Vice President and cabinet ministers, and even more important people, AIDS orphans. The Mathare Mother’s Development Centre won the 2006 Red Ribbon award and the USD 5,000.00 that goes with it. Well done to them.

In addition, here are two (very basic) video clips of part of some of the presentations by the AIDS orphans (yes next year I’ll be sure to carry a camcorder).

Clip 1 (avi file)
Clip 2 (avi file)

Actually maybe there is something I can say

1. Only one politician has publicly taken an AIDS test in Kenya and that was Senator Obama. None of “our” politicians has publicly taken an AIDS test. I feel it would do a whole heap of good if some high profile politicians publicly walked into a VCT centre and took an AIDS test. They do not and should not have to tell us the result of their AIDS test. It is the testing part that is important. It will help remove the stigma/paranoia of taking an AIDS test.*
2. When people talk of AIDS orphans we think of very young children under 5. AIDS has been around for 25 years now. I have met AIDS orphans in their late 20’s, early 30’s. Many of them raised their siblings alone. Imagine being a 15 year old in charge of raising your four brothers and sisters.

*I wait to be gladly corrected on this. If you know of any others please let me know.

|  Email This Post | 7 comments Sunday, December 3rd, 2006 at 6:42 PM

Logic, Sarit Centre style

Logic, Sarit Centre style.

|  Email This Post | 10 comments Friday, November 3rd, 2006 at 4:22 PM

MA with MJ

So I’m sitting at JKIA before a long flight, I’m tired and I’m hungry. A random guy walks over, sits next to me, insists that I’m a hero and asks if I would honour him by taking a photo with him. Despite my tiredness and hunger I agree to the photo, mainly because this guy looked pretty desperate. It’s almost like he wants proof to show people that he did actually meet me. In his defence though the guy was good enough to give me a copy of the photo before he went off to train some kids or something.

(Slight disclaimer: The guy in the picture may have a slightly different version of the way things happened. But who are you going to believe? Me or the 200 metres and 400 metres world record holder?)

|  Email This Post | 15 comments Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 at 2:15 AM

Explosion of purple

I have not been in Nairobi in October in a long time and the explosion of colour has caught me by surprise. Well it isn’t really an explosion of colour but an explosion of purple. Jacaranda trees everywhere are in full bloom. Drive down many roads in Nairobi and you’ll see purple everywhere. People who ride with me are already irritated with me pointing out each and every tree I see with a, “waa waaa ebu check out that purple!”)

This post is dedicated to my friend Mshairi who was she reminds us of a quote from Alice Walker on her blog footer which reads, “I think it pisses God off if you walk by the colour purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.”

(For those of you who are lucky enough to have Jacaranda trees in your compounds quit complaining about how often you have to sweep up the falling flowers and enjoy!)

|  Email This Post | 7 comments Friday, October 27th, 2006 at 4:55 PM

Nairobi Show pictures

As promised I have posted some of my Nairobi Show pictures online. I was taking pictures of the stalls, and cars and one heck of a massive tractor. Other highlights include, Mr and Mrs El Presidente rolling in their drop top jeep, and that cow carrying what looks like 100 litres of milk, a guy getting his eyesight tested and a wall full of womens’ underwear (well that is a highlight for me!)

The full flickr set is here. Jienjoy.
Oh and the presidential motorcade, walalala. That’s another blog post in itself. (No pictures. Taking pictures of the presidential motorcade is illegal.)
The Electoral Commission of Kenya stall was very informative. Yet another blog post!

|  Email This Post | 10 comments Thursday, October 5th, 2006 at 5:15 PM

The only way to blog

Location: Java House, Adams Arcade, Nairobi
The cast: Pancakes (with strawberries), masala tea, free fast wireless access.

There is no better way to blog, is there? Show me!

|  Email This Post | 13 comments Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 at 6:30 PM

Controversy in Grahamstown

You might have heard about the controversy that has been flying around about the Highway Africa and Digital Citizen Indaba conference being held at Rhodes University, Grahamstown as we speak.

Well things finally came to ahead yesterday. No one could hold it in any more. People would either have to come with some answers or the whole place would erupt. After all if a conference of journalists can not make our decision makers accountable who can?

The issue had been burning all week. Whispers here and there but all we got were polite smiles and polite dismissals. We wanted to be taken seriously dammit. These were serious questions we were raising.

Well finally last night at the annual Highway Africa awards, which were live on TV across the continent, things finally came to ahead. Tired of being pushed around we demanded answers to our burning questions. Detailed and full answers. We would not cooperate until we were answered. We demanded to know, and to know immediately on behalf of the people of Africa, we wanted an end to all this conspiracy to all this controversy. So we asked,nay, we demanded to be told. Was it really true that The Princess of Africa also know as Yvonne Chaka Chaka was going to perform live in front of us? And if she was, would she perform her famous hit single “Umqombothi” which for years I thought was “eh mandanzi”?!

Well, mabibi na mabwana, i can reassure that we demanded, on your behalf, and got, on your behalf, an answer! Yes Yvonne, because i’m on first name basis with her cause she knows me like that, was performing. And boy did she perform! Yani she even had me singing ati, “I’m in love with a DJ.”

So there you go controversy sorted.

(You may have read elsewhere about another so called controversy, believe me that is nothing compared to this YCC drama. All i have to say to that is this:

Look at the big picture, at the bigger picture. Where were all these self appointed champions of African blogs when we sent out repeated calls for help? Where were these self appointed defenders of the African blogosphere when we were building. They were online, they knew what we were doing but obviously did not feel it was important enough to engage with us then, so why now? What has changed since?

Remember the old proverb, beware strangers carrying gifts. Just as we who are here in Grahamstown will be watching those around us for anything suspicious, you too watch those around you and their motives.

In KBW we welcome interaction, we welcome those who want to build a community with us. Of course you can refuse to interact with the community except when it is in your own interest. Of course you can ignore us. That is the beautiful thing about our community, even after you join you do not have to participate. You bring to the table what you want to bring. BUT, and oh boy it is a big BUT, BUT if you refuse to interact, if you abdicate your responsibility to engage with your fellow bloggers, if you abdicate in your responsibility to the community then you must allow to me to laugh from the end of my toes when you turn around and come out in full amour as the “defender of the African blogosphere” hehe. We are not good enough for you to engage with, yet we are good enough for you to enlighten about the evil mzungu. Give me a break.

Sisters and brothers, Kenyan Pundit co founded Mzalendo, Mr Mental founded KenyaUnlimited, Bankelele runs probably the most read finanical writing coming out of kenya and Marazzmatazz is no push over as well. Some may try to imply that we came all the way to South Africa to be seduced by 30 pieces of silver. Or they may suggest that if we are not sell outs we are to seduced by the whole proceedings to remain objective. Many of you know us through our blogs. I think it would be fair to say that naivety on world issues is not an accusation you can seriously throw at us.

Beware those who decide they can think for you. One minute were being told how no blogging conference should try to control bloggers, the next minute we are being told about who is or is not worthy to engage. So you want me to be free to blog about what you want me to blog about? Wow. One minute we are told the problem is the conference was not widely publicised, and being asked why they were not invited, the next minute we are being told the conference is bogus anyway. So the rest of the African blogosphere should apply for scholarships but you should be invited? Why? Why you? Why shouldn’t you have to apply with the rest of us? What makes you so damn special?

Next the whole, “there are no natives” (whatever a native is) argument lacks so much logic someone is surely looking for a slapping from a certain Mr Spock. I am sitting in a hall full of 500+ journalists from 40+ African countries, no natives? I have previously blogged about the logical fallacy of an ad hominem argument. Those who have lost the argument tend to attack the man. “Yeah, well Hitler was a vegetarian that means all vegetarians are evil.” The so called handing of our souls to the devil in a code of conduct for bloggers. I mean for crying out loud have you looked at the programme? The “code of conduct” seminar is one of three simultaneous seminars being held on Friday afternoon, hardly the setting for the evil take over of the world is it?

OK enough of the jokes, there is a serious point to all this, believe. Some bloggers have raised concerns with me about the Indaba, which i will bring up when the opportunity arises. I do believe that things can improve, of course they can, the organisers feel that things can improve, this is only the first ever meeting for crying out loud. But i refuse to believe that those who shunned our community and only play lip service to it are now acting as such strong defenders of the African blogosphere for anything other than selfish means. You may chose to read it differently and if so, or even if you agree, blog about it. That is the beauty of blogging!)

Now to help us all smile let me post a picture of our co host last night:

Ahhhhhhhhh, calm all ready Anyone out there know her name?

|  Email This Post | 12 comments Wednesday, September 13th, 2006 at 12:16 PM

Kiss the Chef

Just two days after banging on about cool things I want to get, I got a pleasant surprise in the post.

Thanks “C”! This is brilliant. Hmmm now I need to find something to cook.

|  Email This Post | 5 comments Friday, June 23rd, 2006 at 3:10 AM