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So You Think You Should Dance?

July 21, 2010 in Culture, WC2010 by Mentalacrobatics | No comments

Zulu dancers welcome Chilean fans at O.R. Tambo International Airport

Zulu dancers welcome Chilean fans at O.R. Tambo International Airport

O.R. Tambo International Airport on the outskirts of Johannesburg is the main gateway into South Africa for those of us boring enough to arrive in South Africa by air. Carrying more than 17 million passengers per year it is also the busiest airport in Africa. Even with the burden of hundreds of thousands extra passengers during the 2010 FIFA World Cup O.R. Tambo International coped without any major hitches. That was no big suprise, after all why would handling a mere 800 planes per day bother you when your systems can handle up to 28 million passengers per year without breaking a sweat?

In Short, O.R. Tambo International Airport has a lot it can boast about. By extension South Africa has a lot it can boast about. World class infrastructure, world class stadia, Nobel Laureates, world class universities, beautiful landscape and a wide and diverse culture.

So why was the first thing that international passengers saw after the cleared immigration and customs at this, Africa’s most modern airport remember, a bunch of scantily clad dancers doing a Zulu dance?


Video by Daudi Were

In his infamous satirical essay, “How to Write About Africa” Binyavanga Wainaina reminds us to

Never have a picture of a well-adjusted African on the cover of your book, or in it, unless that African has won the Nobel Prize. An AK-47, prominent ribs, naked breasts: use these. If you must include an African, make sure you get one in Masai or Zulu or Dogon dress.

So there! Zulu and Maasai dance are only allowed as a last resort! And even then only in satire! In Kenya there is a growing cultural revolt against having “jumping Maasai in red shukas” as the only advertised symbol of Kenya culture. There has to be more to show than this, we cry. In a similar way how can these dancers been selected as the most promiment ambassadors of South Africa culture? You never get a second chance to make a first impression the saying goes. Are these dancers the first impression South Africa wants to give about its culture?

But perhaps it is because South Africa has been so successful in many other areas (technology, construction, logistics, tourism, marketing and university education for example) that the display of half naked dancers at the airport reflects a country comfortable enough in its skin to dance in animal skins rather than one afraid to celebrate any other aspect of its culture? After all even the president put on some skins and does some dancing occasionally! Why shouldn’t South Africa highlight this aspect of its culture prominently if it wants to?

Having said that it was difficult to spend a day during the World Cup without bumping into yet another group of semi clad dancers, especially on match days.

I am taking part in the “Blogging the 2010 FIFA World Cup” project. Highway Africa in partnership with Global Voices and supported by MTN will provide coverage of the 2010 World Cup from a citizen media perspective through the use of on-the-ground reporting and the aggregation and amplification of online conversations across the continent, with a special emphasis on development issues. The content will be published on our own blogs and on the Reporting Development News Africa blog. Check out the other bloggers taking part in this project Eduardo Avila and Rebecca Wanjiku.
Cross posted at http://reportingdna.org/blogs/blog/2010/07/21/so-you-think-you-should-dance/

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Show Me The Money

July 20, 2010 in WC2010 by Mentalacrobatics | No comments

MTN banner at Soweto Fifa FanFest

MTN banner at Soweto Fifa FanFest

As the figures trickle in we learn that the 2010 World Cup has been a financial success for FIFA as the football’s world governing body will bank at least USD 3.2 bn in tax free profits from the tournament. The vast majority of this money comes from pre-sold TV rights and sponsorship from corporates. It seems like a life time ago when many financial experts confidently predicted that FIFA would make a loss on the 2010 World Cup in contrast to the large profits the 2006 tournament generated in Germany.

Sportcal Global Communications, the independent sports business and financial information consultants, state in their report The Sports Market Insight: 2010 Fifa World Cup in South Africa that,

The 2010 Fifa World Cup will set the benchmark for global sports events on many levels. Not only will it be the first truly global event to be staged in Africa, it is due to smash previous records for media rights revenue, audiences, new media coverage, broadcast quality and sponsorship income.

A year before kick off at the 2009 annual Highway Africa Conference the 2010 FIFA World Cup Local Organinisng Committee (LOC) hosted African journalists for an evening at the then newly-built Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium in Port Elizabeth. The 2010 LOC’s Chief Executive Officer, Danny Jordaan, stressed again and again that the World Cup would be a financial success for FIFA. It was clear that this was one of the key messages that Jordaan and his committee wanted African journalists to take and spread at home. Why is it so important that the World Cup made money, a lot of money, for FIFA?

FIFA’s Finance Director, Markus Kattner explains that 95 percent of FIFA’s total revenue comes from the sale of rights relating to World Cup, a very risky venture leading to a “high exposure”. This is confirmed by FIFA General Secretary, Jerome Valcke, who states, “We [FIFA] are not rich. We are making quite good money thanks to the World Cup, but that’s the only money we have.”

In other words if the World Cup flops financially it would be catastrophic for FIFA and the organisation would probably not survive. For example, profits from the World Cup go towards funding its many other activities and less lucrative competitions such as junior and women’s World Cups and even the very popular and hig profile Confederations Cup between continental national teams champions.

All these important tournaments make financial losses which are only covered by the profits from FIFA’s premier competition. For example, in 2009, FIFA spent a significant amount of money on the Confederations Cup in South Africa USD 44 million, the under 17 World Cup in Nigeria USD 43 million, the Club World Cup in United Arab Emirate USD 30 million and the under 20 World Cup in Egypt USD 21 million. FIFA also spent USD 30 million for women’s competitions in 2008. Without the profits from the World Cup these tournaments would not be possible.

That FIFA was “allowed” to make all this money, tax free at that, has been labelled obscene. Especially when it is portrayed as FIFA makes this money at the expense of the ordinary South African, who is excluded from the football party due to high ticket prices, high food and breveage prices at official FIFA FanFests, and dracorian FIFA marketing rules.

The true impact, positive or negative, of the World Cup on the South African economy of the improved transport infrastructure, tourism, job creation, sporting legacy, country branding and nation building will not be known for, perhaps, another 10 years when it is possible to conduct reliable costs-benefits analyses to get an accurate assessment.

One group of people who we know will not be complain about FIFA’s healthy finances are the six FIFA confederations which each get an extra USD 2.5 million, and the national football associations which each get a USD 250,000 bonus from the windfall.

I am taking part in the “Blogging the 2010 FIFA World Cup” project. Highway Africa in partnership with Global Voices and supported by MTN will provide coverage of the 2010 World Cup from a citizen media perspective through the use of on-the-ground reporting and the aggregation and amplification of online conversations across the continent, with a special emphasis on development issues. The content will be published on our own blogs and on the Reporting Development News Africa blog. Check out the other bloggers taking part in this project Eduardo Avila and Rebecca Wanjiku.
Cross posted at http://reportingdna.org/blogs/blog/2010/07/20/show-me-the-money/

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Extraordinary masquerades as ordinary

July 4, 2010 in Africa, WC2010 by Mentalacrobatics | No comments

Bafana Bafana played a world cup final on Tuesday the 22nd of June 2010 as the whole of South Africa stopped and came together at 4.00pm to see if their team could, against all the odds, win the match against France with four clear goals and qualify for the knock out stages of the FIFA World Cup 2010.

Bafana Bafana fan at the Cape Town FIFA Fan Fest

Bafana Bafana fan in Cape Town before the South Africa v France FIFA World Cup 2010 match. Photo by DAUDI WERE

The increasing commercialisation and professionalism on all aspects of an event as important as a World Cup match brings with it certain predictability as all matches are delivered in exactly the same way. We count down the minutes in collective synchronisation. 30 minutes to kick off, the pundits start analysing the team sheets giving us little titbits to demonstrate their research skills go beyond a quick Google search. “Did you know” they begin, “that South Africa are lowest ranked team of the 32 at the world cup?” Yes we know, we reply in our heads, however, we also know that without Goliath David’s story is nothing more than a tale about a shepherd boy who went to visit his brothers carrying some roasted grain, bread and, of course, cheese for their commander, and today South Africa is a footballing David in search of a Goliath. 20 minutes to kick off the key sponsors get the extended airtime they spent a fortune acquiring (fortunes acquired from us acquiring their airtime) to convince us that perhaps we need to acquire some more of their airtime. AYOBA! 10 minutes to kick off we have live pictures from the stadium! There is the real bride of the tournament, Jabulani, marinated in the sounds of love from her groom, Vuvuzela! Here are the players, with sufficient seriousness on their faces to display they understand the gravity (and mathematics) of the situation but have the fortitude (and biology) to see it come to pass.

AYOBA!

AYOBA! Photo by DAUDI WERE

The routine in the delivery of our entertainment, which we the fans have come to accept and in many cases embrace, extends to this side of the TV screens as well. 30 mins to kick off we stream into the Fan Fest. 20 mins to kick off, We Wave Our Flags, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh and Open Happiness (“Happiness” is available at all FIFA Fan Fests for only ZAR 12 or ZAR 21 if you’d like your happiness in the special commemorative cup to remind you in the future just how happy you were opening happiness.) 15 mins to kick off It’s Time for Africa eh eeeh! 10 mins to kick off we’re in sync with the live pictures!

Predictability can be positive. In delivering each match the same way the organising committee ensures that nothing goes wrong with the technical side of things. Everybody, the players, the officials, the sponsors, the fans know what to expect. Routine and predictability more than anything else perhaps proved to the world what many had been saying for the last year, South Africa is ready.

The question, however, was that as a clever outsider who had manage to craftily embed myself deep within the troops of the Bafana Bafana auxiliary wing, enthroned with a lekarapa to complete my cunning disguise, would there be anything unique about being part of the South African fan experience?

Four years ago the ever efficient Germans managed to fill streets across Deutschland with flag waving fans, so Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh in itself wouldn’t quite cut it. Four years before that Korea and Japan showed that celebrating your unique football culture was to be encouraged, so the Makarapas and Vuvuzelas on their own wouldn’t quite cut it. Four years before that in France we saw a national team made up of different ethnicities (dare we say nationalities?) gel to conquer the world, so the “Rainbow Nation” in itself would not cut it.

South African fans celebrate a goal by Bafana Bafana during the South Africa v France FIFA World Cup 2010 match. In the background you see Cape Town City Hall where on 11 February 1990 Nelson Mandela made his first public speech after being released from prison. Photo by DAUDI WERE.

Like David’s brothers who searched high and low for a champion or weapon to defeat Goliath, sometimes when you look too hard for something you miss it when it is right in front of you (their younger brother David being the champion, the stones they walked on daily being the weapon).

What South Africa has managed to do is make its uniqueness predicable. Codified uniqueness if you like. The extraordinary masquerading as the ordinary. And that is extraordinary. As La Marseillaise died out and the National Anthem of South Africa sung by a choir 50 million strong first in Xhosa, then in Zulu, moving into Sesotho and Afrikaans, before finally ending in English that unity is extraordinary being ordinary. When you’re standing a few metres away from where, almost 20 years ago to the day, on 11 February 1990 Mandela made his first speech as a free man watching Cameroon play the Dutch in Cape Town, that is the extraordinary being ordinary. When the only painful words bothering Archbishop Desmond Tutu are that his beloved Bafana Bafana did not get the four goals they need, that is the extraordinary being ordinary.

And that is worth celebrating.

I am taking part in the “Blogging the 2010 FIFA World Cup” project. Highway Africa in partnership with Global Voices and supported by MTN will provide coverage of the 2010 World Cup from a citizen media perspective through the use of on-the-ground reporting and the aggregation and amplification of online conversations across the continent, with a special emphasis on development issues. The content will be published on our own blogs and on the Reporting Development News Africa blog. Check out the other blogger’s taking part in this project Eduardo Avila and Rebecca Wanjiku.
Cross posted at http://reportingdna.org/blogs/blog/2010/07/04/extraordinary-masquerades-as-ordinary/

Except South Africa v Accept South Africa

June 22, 2010 in Africa, Issues, WC2010 by Mentalacrobatics | 3 comments

South Africa’s relationship with the rest of Africa is fascinatingly complex.

On one hand, South Africa fascinates the minds of other Africans in a largely positive way. Here we have an African country that is a development giant illustrated in its status as a key member of the G20 not merely as Africa’s representative but in its own right as an economic powerhouse. Here we have a new democracy which behaves like an old democracy, changing heads of state as easily and bloodlessly as cutting a toe nail. Here we have a country that is comfortable enough in its multi-ethnicity to have 11 official languages and a national anthem with verses in three languages. A nuclear power, the home of the first open heart surgery, with a gross domestic product (GDP) four times that of its southern African neighbours and comprising around 25% of the entire continent’s GDP. South Africa leads the continent in industrial output (40% of total output) and mineral production (45%) and generates most of Africa’s electricity (over 50%).

On the other hand, you have South Africa’s relationship with the hearts of other Africans. Here too South Africa’s story is largely positive. Here are a people who fought the longest battle for liberation from oppression with apartheid falling only in 1994 meaning that the “born frees” are only 16 years old, not yet of voting age. Despite this South Africans have managed to lift themselves up, decide that their focus is forward not at looking backwards. In addition South Africa is double rugby world cup champion (1995, 2007) and African Nations Cup Champion in 1996 only two years after the fall of apartheid.

However, while South Africa has managed to capture the minds of Africans, it has had a much harder time winning over the hearts of other Africans. No doubt South Africa generates intense respect that comes with a recognition and acceptance of its status as the economic and political leader on the continent. The warmth of brotherhood, which is different from respect, while there, is not as intense.

There are several reasons why this could be the case. The one I have encountered most regularly is the “except South Africa” syndrome. The “except South Africa” syndrome ironically is a direct consequence of South Africa’s huge strides in development. It presents a unique dilemma as the same things about South Africa that fascinate positively African minds are the same ones that push away African hearts by making it appear so apart. For example take Wikipedia’s entry on Sub-Saharan Africa:

Sub-Saharan African countries top the list of countries and territories by fertility rate with 40 of the highest 50, all with TFR greater than 4 in 2008. All are above the world average except South Africa. Figures for life expectancy, malnourishment, infant mortality and HIV/AIDS infections are also dramatic. More than 40% of the population in sub-Saharan countries is younger than 15 years old, as well as in the Sudan with the exception of South Africa.[47]

Sub-Saharan African countries spent an average of just 0.3% of their GDP on S&T(Science and Technology) in 2007. This represents an increase from US$1.8bn in 2002 to US$2.8bn in 2007. This represent an increase of 50% in spending in S&T in Africa. South Africa is the sole exception. South Africa spends 0.87% of GDP on S&T.[85][86]
(emphasis mine)

MTN's World Cup 2010 Africa United ShieldIn so many ways, some positive, some negative, South Africa seems so removed from the rest of Africa. It is almost impossible to get any meaningful statistic on Sub-Saharan Africa that does not exclude South Africa as the inclusion of that data would transform the results completely. I first noticed this during Idris Mohammed’s talk at TEDAfrica in which most of his statistics on the economy of Sub Saharan Africa excluded South Africa. While it is a blessing to be a trailblazer and a honour to be a leader, South Africa has also found that it can be lonely place to be.

This explains South Africa’s obsession with making the world cup not just about celebrating South Africa but about celebrating Africa. This I believe is not so much about selling Africa to the world but about selling South Africa to the rest of Africa. South Africa is tired of being just the cleverest kid in school; South Africa wants to be the most popular kid in school.

Team Africa United MTN, official sponsor of the World Cup, main advertising campaign is centred around urging us to support team “Africa United”. South Africans in particular were urged to make “every African match a home game” by buying tickets to matches involving African teams and (equally important) to go to the stadia and support those teams with the same passion they support Bafana Bafana. MTN also shouts, “Let’s go Africa. Let’s go 2010.”

South Africa is reaching out to the rest of Africa, perhaps “except South Africa” and “accept South Africa” do not have to be mutually exclusive.

Let's go Africa. Let's go 2010 banner

I am taking part in the “Blogging the 2010 FIFA World Cup” project. Highway Africa in partnership with Global Voices and supported by MTN will provide coverage of the 2010 World Cup from a citizen media perspective through the use of on-the-ground reporting and the aggregation and amplification of online conversations across the continent, with a special emphasis on development issues. The content will be published on our own blogs and on the Reporting Development News Africa blog. Check out the other blogger’s taking part in this project Eduardo Avila and Rebecca Wanjiku.

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Hear us ROAR

August 19, 2008 in Kenya, Rugby, Sport by Mentalacrobatics | 2 comments

Now that the child’s play (gymnastics, swimming, equestrian, kayaking etc) in Beijing is over the JOGOO of Africa roars (as much as a JOGOO can roar anyway).

Real Medal Table

The only country that is worthy of a seat next to Kenya is Jamaica. As for the rest of you, you can steal our athletes with PetroDollars, LegoDollars and MacDollars but until you start eating ugali you haven’t got a chance.)

In other news

Elgon Cup Score

our dear (younger) brothers from Uganda, this is what we meant last time. Hehe ati dethrone Kenya in Nairobi. Never talk badly again!

(Balanced, non jingoistic, rational coverage continues after the Olympics etc)

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Anfield public service announcement

April 22, 2008 in Beautiful game, Liverpool FC by Mentalacrobatics | 4 comments


YNWA Liverpool

Viewers of today’s feature presentation, The Massacre at Anfield 3, may feel they are watching a repeat of last years feature, which we reviewed on Mentalacrobatics here.

We would like to assure all our viewers that we at Anfield are professionals and thus will never tire of spanking Chelski in the Champions’ League semi-finals.

We would also like to point out to our viewers that it is not our fault Chelski suck. Like many of our viewers we are disgusted that sub standard teams such as Chelski are allowed to participate in such a prestigious competition.

We would like to remind our viewers that winning the Champions’ League requires pedigree, power, passion, panache, pride and a Liverbird on your chest.

YNWA

Securing Sweet Sixth Star

March 14, 2008 in Beautiful game, Liverpool FC by Mentalacrobatics | No comments

God really must be Liverpool fan.

Destroy Arsenal in the quarter-final
Demolish Chelsea in the semi-final (again) HAHAH ROTFLMBBAO
HUMILIATE ManUtd in the final

You couldn’t ask for a better end to a season

We’ve won it 5 Times
We’ve won it 5 Times
In Istanbul
We Won it 5 Times

We’ll Win It 6 Times
We’ll Win It 6 Times
In magic Moscow
We’ll Win it 6 Times

It’s only on Loan
It’s only on Loan
In magic Moscow
We’ll Bring It Back Home

Meanwhile …

From: Nairobi, Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, Kenya (NBO)
To: Moscow, Domodedovo Airport, Russia (DME)
To: Nairobi, Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, Kenya (NBO)
Passengers: 1 Adult
Cabin: Economy
Departing: Tuesday, 20 May, 2008
Returning: Thursday, 22 May, 2008
Price: USD 1936.00

WHOA – perhaps I’ll watch it on TV instead.

(Yo Nyiloh, this time it’s on!)

The power of sport

February 13, 2008 in Beautiful game, Kenya, Politics by Mentalacrobatics | 4 comments

Congratulations to the Pharaohs Kings of Africa once again after beating Cameroon 1-0 in the final of the Africa Cup of Nations.

I was lucky to have the pleasure, for the first time, of watching the final of a major football tournament in one of the countries that was contesting that final. It was not planned, it was a complete fluke as I just happened to be in transit in Cairo between Istanbul and Nairobi. My six hours in transit coincided with the match. I walked around Cairo International Airport looking for a TV screen that was not showing the usual airport advertising pap and for a while I was scared that I would miss the game. How ridiculous that would that have been. Luckily sanity prevailed and most of the screens switched over to Accra as soon business began at the Ohene Djan stadium. Before kick off the airport staff were all polite and diplomatic when I asked, cheekily, if they would support Cameroon. Once the match began it was another story. Shouts, screams, hands in the air, fists shaken at TV screens. Yes indeed, football at its most passionate.

While I was watching the game I was struck again by the immense power of sport. Especially at international level. To put it plainly I sincerely believe that if Kenya had qualified for the Africa Cup of Nations and had done well in the tournament the violence that rocked Kenya would not have been intense as it was. Imagine a commanding Luhya player (the captain naturally) a towering midfield destroyer, passing the ball to Luo player, the creative and flamboyant midfield maestro, passing the ball to a lanky but lethal Kalenjin striker, who blasts in the winning goal cheered by his Kikuyu goalkeeper. The unity the players would have to show on the pitch to be successful would serve as a constant and real reminder of the unity Kenyans would have to show off the pitch to be successful.

This is not just sentimental hogwash. in the run up to the 2006 World Cup with Ivory Coast bleeding from civil war Drogba fell on his knees live on TV and sent out an emotional appeal for the warring factions to lay down their arms. It would be naive to claim that Drogba’s gesture ended the civil war. It would be equally naive to pretend that Drogba’s gesture did not have any effect at all. “All the players hated what was happening to our country and reaching the World Cup was the perfect emotional wave on which to ride.” Togo and Angola qualifying for the same World Cup in German helped heal both nations after decades of civil war. Beyond Africa as well there are numerous examples of the power of sport to unite a nation. Remember how the then new country of Croatia, which gained independence only 7 years earlier, played excellent football to reach the semi finals of the World Cup in France 1998 uniting their country in a sense of pride? Or how much the symbolism North and South Korea marching together at the opening ceremony of the Asian Games (although they did not compete in joint teams) meant to their people?

Sport and especially team sport is a democratic and universal symbol of nationhood which becomes even more important in a country like Kenya where most of the other symbols of nationhood are inaccessible to ordinary citizens.

Two weeks ago a special friend invited me to watch a preseason rugby friendly between the University of Nairobi’s Mean Machine RFC and Mwamba RFC, one of Kenya’s oldest rugby clubs. As with most preseason games the match was a relaxed affair played in a lively spirit. After the game the players from both sides gathered in the centre of the pitch and knelt together in prayer.


Mean Machine and Mwamba

This is a regular ritual conducted at the end of many rugby games. This time, however, it was wonderful to see the symbolism of a united Kenya across ethnic, religious, economic, political lines.

Click here for a larger image.

The Springboks will win it.

October 5, 2007 in Rugby by Mentalacrobatics | 9 comments

We, the good people at Mentalacrobatics Towers, never shy away from making big calls in our sporting predictions. We are not soothsayers-in-reverse who wait until the games are finished to boldly start saying, “si I told you so” acting all smug!

Now that the rugby world cup has reached the business end side of things here is the Mentalacrobatics blueprint. If you support the All Blacks or England you won’t like it much.

Quarter Finals

QF1: Australia v England: Australia
QF2: New Zealand v France: France
QF3: South Africa v Fiji: South Africa
QF4: Argentina v Scotland: Argentina

Semi Finals

SF1: W QF1 v W QF2 = Australia –v- France: Australia
SF2: W QF3 v W QF4 = South Africa –v- Argentina: South Africa

3rd place play-off: France –v- Argentina: France

Final: Australia – South Africa: South Africa

  1. South Africa
  2. Australia
  3. France

Why?

The All Blacks should be on a liquid diet because they always choke. And they are the overwhelming favourites and I never go for the overwhelming favourites (World Cup 2006 Brazil fans where are you now? Champions’ League 2005 final AC Milan fans where are you now?) So the All Blacks will not win. But who can stop them?

The big three of the southern hemisphere know each other inside out. The All Blacks know too much about the Springboks and the Wallabies to be surprised by them. So they would beat those two teams. It would take a team of irritatingly inconsistent players to have the game of their lives to knock the All Blacks out of the tournament. Step forward France. They’ve done it before and I think they will do it again. They are due one superior performance in this world cup, unfortunately the All Blacks will be on the receiving end. Then people will start talking about the “French Jinx”, remember where you heard it first.

The rest is obvious really.

Hash et al. I’ll be expecting your wise predictions soon! All of a sudden this post has become popular again. I should move those downloads to YouTube or something!

Hongera Iraq!

July 31, 2007 in Beautiful game by Mentalacrobatics | No comments

Football is not just a matter of life and death: it’s much more important than that!
Bill Shankly

It is wonderful to read some different and good news about Iraq for once. This victory and the excitement it has generated is yet another example of the positive role sports can play in uplifting a country. If you do only one thing today then make that one thing reading what the Iraqi bloggers are saying!


Iraq Flag

Well done Iraq – winners of Asian Cup 2007.

See you in the World Cup 2010! Final: Kenya – v – Iraq!

Walk on

May 24, 2007 in Beautiful game, Liverpool FC, Sport by Mentalacrobatics | No comments

Well done to Milan, worthy champions. Koppites, we’ll meet in Moscow.

The way Gattuso was wandering around after the final whistle like a mad man I wonder what he would have done had they lost again hehe.

Silver linings and all that:
The good thing about nights like last night is that you get to meet real fans. Sitting in Crooked Q making noise long after the final whistle was brilliant. People were walking to us and saying, “Didn’t you guys lose?” Yeah yesterday we lost, but tomorrow we will win, so today we will sing.
(By the way I have final found out the reason CrookedQ exists. Still have no idea what the point of JKs, Tamasha, Sohos etc is.)

Looks like the foundations for a official Nairobi (or indeed Kenya) branch of LFC Supporters club are all here. Watch this space.

Surreal moment of the night was being stopped by police with various Liverpool flags hanging from the car and YNWA blasting from the stereo and then being escorted, flashing lights and all, to Nairobi Safari Club because they decided that we were part of the Burundi delegation in Nairobi for the COMESA summit. HEHE. Yani one look at us and they were like bilaz these nutters can not be Kenyan!

I would post pictures but let me not push my luck.

Walk on, the Rafaloution year 4.

Routine win

May 3, 2007 in Beautiful game, Liverpool FC by Mentalacrobatics | 4 comments

No one likes a know it all
Even if the know-it-all is always right
Even more so if the know-it-all is good looking :-)
And especially when the know-it-all says, “I told you so.”

But heck – who cares?

I TOLD YOU SO!

The Mighty Reds of Anfield lock horns with Meeeeeeeeeelan in Athens in a repeat of the 2005 Champions’ League final.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again, the Champions’ League trophy is the most fussy of mistresses. She only lets a very select few battle for the right to call her their own.

Liverpool and Meeeeeeeeeeeeelan happen to be amongst those few.

Manchester Buccaneers and Spartak Chelski do not happen to be amongst those few.

Chelski: “we’re chasing a historic quadruple.”
Liverpool: “NO you are not.”

What a routine win, it was a walk in the park really, no sweat. Chelski have been crying all season about how they never get awarded penalties, look what happened when they got 5. Useless.

Buccaneers: “We’re gonna win the treble.”
Meeeeeeeeeeeeelan: “NO you are not.”

Hehehe!

As for the Buccaneer fans who had the audacity to come in here and start talking about history and “big clubs”, where do I even start educating you?

Quote of the day

“I guess when you’ve invested £500m it’s a fantastic season to win the League Cup.”

Rick Parry wins the battle of wits against Mourinho

The Massacre at Anfield – Opening Tonight

May 1, 2007 in Beautiful game, Liverpool FC by Mentalacrobatics | 7 comments


YNWA Liverpool

We won it five times; we won it five timeeeeeeeeees, in Istanbul we won it five times!

It’s only on loan; it’s only on looooooan, in ancient Greece we’ll bring it back home!


Tonight for One Night Only
Showing at a screen near you

The Massacre at Anfield

A Liverpool Football Club Production


YNWA Liverpool

Directed by Rafa “The Gaffa” Benitez

Starring

Steve “Captain Fantastic” Gerrard MBE
Luis “Semi Final Goal Scorer” Garcia
Momo “So good they named him twice” Sissoko
Jamie “The Minister of Defence” Carragher
Peter “Crouchigol” Crouch
And The Koppites a.k.a The real Special Ones as the 12th man.

Prediction: Liverpool will beat AC Milan in this year’s Champions’ League Final in a repeat of the greatest game of football ever played.

Shut up Cram

March 29, 2007 in Kenya, Sport by Mentalacrobatics | 4 comments

Steve Cram is one of Britain’s top all time athletes. He won gold medals in the Commonwealth Games, European Championships and World Championships and a silver medal in the Olympics all in 1500m in the mid 1980’s.

You would think that a guy with his experience on the track field would know one or two things about respect and fair play but his article in The Guardian is anything but fair play and is, frankly, borderline racist.

Cram’s main beef seems to be the Kenyan crowd cheering when Bekele pulled out of the race on the final lap. How can Cram be so sure of the reasons behind the crowds’ celebrations? After all they had just seen the junior Kenyan men and women totally dominate and sweep the medals. Maybe the crowd were still on a high because of that. Anyone who has been to a major Kenyan sporting event knows that it is noise and singing the whole may through. If you do not believe just ask any non Kenyan who has been to the LA Sevens or London Sevens rugby tournaments. It doesn’t matter if Georgia is playing Argentina in the semi-final of the bowl, you can be sure that the Kenyans will still be making noise.

Anyway back to the article. According to Cram the crowd’s celebrations were “shocking” and the crowd was “delirious”. Apparently Kenyans showed a, “distasteful example of sporting rivalry prompting unacceptable levels of animosity [and] … proved to be lacking in the sportsmanship that athletics is used to.” He goes on to mention that next year when the championship is held in Edinburgh, the crowd will be “partisan but sporting”. Ok so when the Kenyans (read Africans) celebrate they are shocking, distasteful, full of animosity and delirious, but when the crowd in Edinburgh (read Europeans) celebrate they will be, “partisan but sporting”.

He then goes on to suggest that holding the championship in Mombasa was a mistake because of the extreme weather conditions. Yes it was hot and humid. Cram then goes on to say that the driving rain of Edinburgh would be better.

OK what? If this guy had his way all athletic events would be held in the rain of Great Britain. These same bogus excuses they are spouting now about the weather being unacceptable in Mombasa is the same stuff they said about the Olympics in Athens when many European athletes found the conditions too hard. Biggest example: Britain’s Paula Radcliffe.

I remember reading an article on one the greatest athletes we will ever see (and my close personal buddy) Michael Johnson. One evening during a training session the heavens open and torrential rain started pouring. All the other athletes went in but Johnson and his coach stayed out running and practicing in the heavy rain until they finished their session. When the reporters asked Johnson why he stayed out he told them, “One day I may have to race under these conditions and I want to be ready.” Now that is preparation for you. Only the Ethiopians know why their challenge at this year’s Cross Country championship went pear shaped. There had been rumours of some discord in the Ethiopian camp and this article mentions just how ill prepared for the conditions they were.

Cram then goes on to say that when the Cross Country championship is held in Edinburgh next year Cross Country will be, “really home.” LOL. What a muppet. Kenya is the spiritual home of long distance running Cram, upende usipende.

Now this article got me thinking. It is clear that Cram has something against Kenyans. So I did some quick investigating. When you look at all the medals Cram has won, which I mentioned above, there is one medal missing from his collection, that one medal which is the King of Medals, the Olympic gold medal. Cram never won an Olympic gold medal. In Seoul in 1988 he was the favourite to win. Instead he was upstaged by a young upstart called Peter Rono who won the Gold. Which country did Rono win the Gold medal for? Well you do not need me to tell you that. Suddenly Cram’s distaste for Kenya makes sense. Oh well, another one bites the dust. Cram should just be happy he was running long distance before Kenyan athletics organised itself to be the force it is today. Otherwise even the few medals he won would just be rumours.

Domination

March 28, 2007 in Kenya, Sport by Mentalacrobatics | 2 comments

A quick update to the official dictionary

domi-na-tion
n.
1.
a. Control or power over another or others.
b. The exercise of such control or power.
c. The Kenyan Cross Country team

Cross Country came home and we showed the world how long distance running is done. Domination has a new definition.

From the podium sweep in the junior women’s race that opened the competition to the top-four sweep in the junior men’s, the hosts clearly illustrated that, for now, no nation on earth can match the cross country depth produced in this east African nation.

Ati for now. For now, for yesterday, for tomorrow, for the day before yesterday, for the day after tomorrow. Forever. I wonder why some of the countries turned up to be honest. But I guess a holiday in Mombasa for one hours running isn’t such a bad deal.

Where we really show our domination is in the team standings and in the team medals. To do well in the team events you can not have one superstar and 5 Muppets. You all have to be on point.

Senior men:
1st Kenya: 28 points (the lower the points the better)
2nd Morocco: 146 points!!!!

That is a spanking of 118 points between first and second! One hundred and eighteen points. Hehehe. That is the equivalent of a 10-0 spanking in football.

Senior women:
1st Ethiopia: 19 points
2nd Kenya: 26 points

We pushed the Ethiopians hard. And oh yeah the Dutch lady who won this race is called Lornah Kiplagat. Yeah go figure.

Junior men:
1st Kenya: 10 points (i.e. basically a perfect score)
2nd Eritrea: 44 points

The junior men just take the cake. They won their ninth title in a row and have won 19 of the last 20 championships. This year Kenyan runners came in 1,2,3,4.

Junior women:
1st Kenya: 13 points (i.e. near perfection)
2nd Eritrea: 33 points

What a day!

The good: the immense pride the Kenyan athletes showed. The heroes in the Junior men’s team could hardly walk on to the podium to receive their medals. That’s how much effort they put into the race.
The crowd, Kenyans came out to support their athletes but also to support all the runners clapping all the athletes around the course.

The bad: I found the coverage in the Kenyan press of Bekele’s retirement one lap from the end distasteful. There is no need to gloat childishly. If the Kenyan athletes and crowd can show Bekele respect then reporters can to. Remember this is a man who many said was too scared to take the Kenyans on in their own backyard when he nearly retired from Cross Country last year. He came, he ran, he didn’t finish. We won yes but that guy is still a champion.

The ugly: How in the hell did that soldier manage to hoist up the Kenyan flag upside down during the Junior women’s medal ceremony? I mean upside down? How? On the bright side he managed to complete confuse Baks who was looking at the flag like huh?? That soldier will be posted to Mandera for the next 10 years.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Meanwhile the next day the Harambee stars were busy beating Swaziland 2-0 at Kasarani. Cue for politicans to talk about, “bringing football home to Kenya like we brought cross country home” as they start to talk of a Nairobi Olympic bid for 2016.

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